February 1998
I had been ready to pack up and leave Vancouver when I went into those woods that day. Castiel saving me and inviting me back had changed my mind. I felt drawn to him and I wasn’t sure why. He was definitely not my normal hang out buddy. But he trusted me enough to know where he lives, to get to know him more.
I’d gone back and spent the entire weekend several times since then. He had even stayed with me in Squamish when travel was just too bad for me. He preferred the cabin though and honestly, I did too. It was just better there and more comfortable for us both.
Secretly, that may be my favorite part of the weekend. Sharing a bed. It helped me with the lonely feeling and my wolf felt calmer being around another shifter, he would even shift sometimes and let me just curl up with him. Castiel in wolf form though was not something the bed had room for, but it was nice that he trusted me with that.
Castiel and I were meeting this weekend but he requested we stay in Squamish; he needed to get supplies while there. Asa had apologized for being his spy a few times but I’d pointedly reminded him that packs needed privacy sometimes, I got it. I wasn’t mad at him.
Sammy liked Castiel as well, at least based on what I’d told him. He didn’t want me to be stupid and ruin it, but I didn’t want that either. I liked being with Cas. I liked spending time with him. He may not have been the pack but he was good to be around.
“Hey Dean!”
I glanced up at Asa standing at the door. “What’s up?”
“Before I call anyone, is there any vehicle that won’t be done today?”
I looked at the schedule and reviewed the few repairs, mostly minor stuff.
“Unless there is a complication with any of them, I don’t see why they wouldn’t be. Most are simple stuff.”
He rubbed his chin. “Isn’t Acre’s in there too?”
“Yeah, oil change.”
“That man is rough on cars, so I won’t call him just in case. The others should pick up today.”
“Gotcha. It’s early and Cas is meeting me in town this weekend, so I can be later if needed.”
“Odd for him.”
I shrugged. “He mentioned needing to get some supplies.”
“That makes more sense.”
I wiped my hands off and looked at him. “Asa, has he ever really…dated anyone? I’ve asked him multiple times but he always ignores the question.”
He walked over to the car and leaned against the metal pole. “It should be his story, Dean.”
“Not looking for details, just a yes or no.”
Again, he rubbed his face and several minutes ticked by. “I’ve never seen him with anyone. But that doesn’t mean he hasn’t been with anyone because I only see him when I visit Squamish. Which, is not often. He’ll tell you in his own time. Castiel is private and he needs time to trust.”
“I understand. We do tend to talk more about me and my past versus his. But he’s slowly opening up some. He still won’t tell me anything about what he writes and he keeps the typed pages put away when I am there.”
He laughed. “Castiel has always been that way with his works. He will tell you he’s published and I have seen proof of that, but he won’t tell anyone here what his author name is or what he writes about. Even his closest pack members don’t know that aspect of his life.”
“His father knew, he got him the agent.”
“His father helped, I believe, on some of the books.”
I tilted my head. “I wonder if we’ve all read them and just don’t know.”
“Totally possible.”
“I’m getting back to this, is there anything else?”
“Nope. I’m going to call them. If you run into any problems, holler at me so I can update them.”
I nodded and got back to work changing the oil in the one that was on the rack. I got through the other oil changes in time but he was right, Mr. Acre’s car was a train wreck. The oil seemed to be sludge and I wondered exactly how long it had been and how the hell the car still ran. It would definitely be Monday or Tuesday before it was ready. Before I headed to Squamish I messaged Sammy to tell him where I’d be.
I then got my duffel and headed north. The hotel owner had my key waiting and indicated that Castiel was already here. I knocked before using the key though so I didn’t scare him.
“Hello, Dean.”
“Heya. How was the trip here?”
“A little cold but nothing I couldn’t handle. How was yours?”
“Pretty good. Traffic wasn’t bad, made it sooner than I thought.”
I dropped my duffel down on the floor. I was pleased that he’d gotten a room with a king bed. I moved a little more into the room and was greeted with him hugging me. Yeah, Dean Winchester wasn’t normally a hugger, but the warm fuzzy feeling I got from his embrace was enough to change my mind.
“So, how was your week, and have you had dinner yet?”
His head tilted some. “It was boring mostly and no, I knew you’d be hungry when you got here.”
“Good plan.”
When we broke apart I went to the bathroom quickly, and we walked to the local diner. They were a little surprised he had been coming with me, but he usually left the ordering and talking to me. He was still nervous around some people and especially strangers.
We got seated and got our orders in before I looked at him. “Did you get the writing done you wanted?”
“Kind of. I didn’t make as much progress as I wanted but it’s not behind or anything.”
“That’s good. You needed more supplies anyway, right?”
“Yes. I have some paper left but it’s not going to be enough.”
He kept moving the napkin in front of him, fiddling with it and even tearing pieces off.
“Castiel? Is everything alright?”
His eyes moved toward the other side and back. “I just…He’s staring.”
I reached across the table and got his hands. “It’s okay. Do you want to swap sides?”
“Please?”
We swapped sides and I could tell the guy was a creep but he wouldn’t bother me. He seemed to settle once he was facing another direction.
“Did you have a good week at the shop?”
“We got a lot done, but I know next week will be busy too. We have a few appointments for some pretty major repairs.”
“I’ve never even owned a car. How can I be twenty-five and never have owned a car?”
I chuckled. “You don’t have a cell either.”
“To be fair, I don’t have electricity at the cabin, or cell towers.”
“That is true.”
He really was a true cabin man. No electricity beyond solar power, no house phone or cell phone, and he’d never even driven a car. He did have a snowmobile and four wheeler though. He hadn’t told me the amounts or anything but he obviously made good money writing. It was a subject we glazed over because it wasn’t something we cared about. We had money for basics and that was all we needed.
The plates arrived and we dug in, even ordering pie for dessert, and then headed back to the hotel room. Our weekends here sometimes included movies or other programs, but he looked tired and I felt it. We changed into pj’s and handled any bedtime routines before lying down. He liked being held, and I didn’t even waste time pretending, just scooted up, and he snuggled back against my chest.
“Why does your hair always smell like some citrus fruit?”
“I use homemade soaps and usually it’s citrus I have left.”
I furrowed my brows, “Homemade soap?”
He nodded and chuckled when I buried my nose in his hair. “Your fur doesn’t smell that way.”
“It would if I could figure out how to bathe in citrus soap.”
“You know…I could give you a bath when it’s warmer.”
“Maybe.”
His breathing had evened out but I knew he wasn’t asleep.
“Cas, why won’t you talk about your dating history? I’ve answered all your questions when you ask, but you always change the subject when I ask.”
He was quiet for several moments before he moved, turning to his back, my hand splayed across his abdomen but he made no movement to move it. He looked at me and I could see the sadness. Why would he be sad?
“I don’t have a dating history. My father was protective and that meant I didn’t get out a lot. Even after he passed I just…I didn’t know what to do. It wasn’t like I was a social butterfly like Gabriel. He’s not here to teach me either. I have…relationships with pack members that are...friendly.”
“Surely you’ve flirted or something?”
He shrugged.
“Please tell me you’ve at least kissed someone?”
He shook his head. “Kiss on the cheek from the female pack members is all.”
“What about us? How do you feel about that?”
I didn’t want to fall for someone who had no interest in relationships or dating.
“I’m not really sure. The first time I saw you I knew something felt different. Watching you those times I wanted to let you know I was there, but I was afraid.”
“And now?”
“I have no reference for the way I feel now, Dean. I don’t know what these feelings are or how to process them. I just know that I like this, I feel calm and happy with you. I’m not lonely when you’re here. Yet I have feelings and physical reactions that I’m not used to.”
I raised a brow. “Physical reactions?”
I’d never once felt or seen any ‘reactions’.
“Charlie said they were butterflies in my stomach, which made no sense. But in general.”
I moved my hand to get his. “What do you want us to be?”
“I’m not sure how to answer that, honestly. I don’t want you to leave, if that helps.”
I leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. “It’s okay, I’m not great with feelings either. We can work through them together and…I’m not leaving.”
His cheeks were bright red and I couldn’t resist another quick peck to his cheek. It was nice having this moment even if they really didn’t settle my nerves much. He’d never dated anyone. Man or woman. Which implied that in a romantic relationship he hadn’t experienced any aspect of it, and while that was exciting it was also a little concerning.
“I’m not sure. But, what do you want, Dean?”
“I’d like for us to be a couple, if you’d also like that.”
His cheeks remained a slight pink but he smiled. “I think I’d like that too.”
He shifted so he was back on his side and then scooted back against me. The feeling of him against me was comforting and while I wanted to talk more we were both tired. He drifted off before me but I could tell Sam now that I hadn’t blown it!
I woke up before he did, still cuddled with him, and smiled to myself. He wanted to be boyfriends. I hadn’t screwed up! After ten minutes I carefully got up and went to the bathroom, and when I came back out he was sitting up and wiping his eyes.
“Sleep okay?” I asked.
He looked at me bleary eyed, “I did, did you?”
“Yes. Apparently more than four hours too.”
“That’s always a plus.”
I sat down on the bed. “I know you needed supplies, is there any time frame for when we should go there?”
“No, he has them ready actually. I just need to pay and get them. But there was something else I wanted to do. Do you remember the client you worked on the car up here?”
“Yes. Mr. Fitzgerald.”
“We’re going to meet him for lunch today.”
“Cool. He gave Asa a glowing review of my work. It’ll be good to see him again.”
He smiled and we both took time to get ready. At the cabin we changed and showered alone and that didn’t change here, not now anyway. He came out after a shower in jeans and a light blue long sleeve sweater.
“I didn’t think you owned jeans.”
He shrugged, “A few pairs, but at the cabin the sweats are warmer.”
“They look nice on you.”
His cheeks turned a bit pink. “Thank you.”
I headed in after him, and after a quick shower and change of clothes I was ready. He’d basically seen my entire wardrobe, but I had gotten a nicer flannel to wear today. A blue checked pattern one that would honestly look better on him than me. But his smile when he saw me gave me butterflies in my stomach.
On the way to Mr. Fitzgerald’s we stopped by the store and got his supplies, and then headed to the cabin.
“You seem to like being a passenger.”
“I do, it’s a very nice car and I can appreciate that. My Dad drove an old Continental, and it was in rough shape.”
“This was my Dad’s, he gave her to me when I was sixteen. It’s the only good thing he really did.”
“I’m not fond of your dad.”
I glanced at him. “Not many are, really.”
We pulled up at Mr. Fitzgerald’s cabin and he was waiting for us, greeting us like friends.
“Welcome back Dean, it’s nice to see you again. My car is running better than she ever has,” he said.
“Thank you sir, it’s a pleasure. I didn’t know you two knew one another.”
“Castiel and my grandson are close. Speaking of, they’re waiting for you in the back room.”
“They?” I asked.
Castiel just smiled and got my hand, began to lead me through until we were near the back of the house and then he paused at a door before knocking, there was shuffling but I couldn’t place it before he opened the door. Inside were six large wolves. I blinked and looked at Cas.
“The rest of the pack, they wanted to meet you in this form first. Then they’ll change back to meet you.”
We stepped inside and one of them came forward. They were all smaller than Castiel in size, but the one approaching me was a brilliant shade of red, I’d never seen such a color on a shifter. I didn’t recall this color a few weeks back either.
“This is Charlie. She’s our resident nerd and geek and will proudly admit to that.”
She nudged my hand and I followed with a few soft pets to her head before she moved past me and back into the main part of the house. The next one was a dark gray color, no other identifying marks.
“This is Meg, her preferred name. She’s our resident badass.”
She did not want any head rubs; she sat in front of me and assessed me with her dark black eyes before she swept between us. I didn’t take it personally.
There was a much lighter gray colored wolf that approached. This one had dark brown feet.
“Willow, we sometimes call her boots for obvious reasons. She’s Charlie’s girlfriend and the one that helped me save you.”
I thanked her first and she nuzzled my hand for scratches and even gave me a light nudge before she headed out of the room. The next one was dark brown with white patches on the chest.
“Joshua, our youngest shifter. He’s our playful one.”
It showed by his upbeat movements and overly giddiness even as a wolf. He bounded by us, and that left two.
“These two are Garth and his wife, Bess. Garth is Mr. Fitzgerald’s grandson. Garth is a human hugger, so beware. Bess here has the gray feet while Garth has
the black feet and face.”
They approached together and both assessed me like Meg has done, before they turned toward Castiel. It never dawned on me that they could speak to him in this form.
I tilted my head. “They can speak to you despite the forms?”
“Yes, they can,” he said.
Garth and Bess walked by and left us standing alone.
“Do they hate me?”
“Meg said you smelled funny but beyond that they’ve all liked you. They’ll be in human form in the front.”
He pointed to a picture that included him, with six others. I took the photo and studied it so I would know who was who when I saw them in human forms. Charlie was a short, petite young woman with bright red hair and light hazel eyes. Meg had medium dark brown hair and dark chocolate eyes; she looked like a bad ass in this picture. Willow and Joshua could easily pass as twins, they were both tall, average builds, with dark brown hair and eyes. Garth was tall, thin, and had the brightest smile in the photo. He had short dark hair and light brown eyes. His wife was petite and blonde, she had pretty blue eyes but they weren’t as good as Castiel’s.
“Ready to meet them?”
I smiled. “Yes.”
We headed to the front where they were waiting. Charlie came up and smiled.
“Star Wars or Star trek?”
“Wars, hands down.”
She beamed at that. “Welcome then, you may stay.”
I laughed with them, but it was nice to have them talk to me. I recognized Meg though, as she’d been in Vancouver a bit. But I didn’t say anything because she could have been watching, or she could have been simply visiting. Mr. Fitzgerald served lunch, and we all got to sit down and eat. We spent the entire afternoon with them, laughing, talking, and even running, during which Castiel made sure to stay close to me.
We got back to the hotel after nine.
“That was a great time, thank you Cas.”
“It should have happened a few weeks ago. But, Meg was out of town and then Joshua was.”
“No problem, Cas. They are all very nice people and I’m sure Meg is nice but it’s fair to say she is the resident bad ass.”
“She really is. She took down Alistair almost by herself. She’s hated him for a while.”
“Did he hurt her?”
He nodded. “He killed a family member of hers. Human one. She was focused that afternoon.”
“Nothing wrong with that Cas, I’d be the same way.”
“I know. So, want to pick a movie?”
“Sure.”
We first changed into pajamas and then settled down to watch a movie. He cuddled close and damn if I didn’t like that. We both barely made it through the movie before sleep took us both.