Spring 1998
I was now spending every weekend with Castiel, the weather was warming up and we could spend time outside now. He was showing me around his cabin and letting me learn my way around that area. I was, just slowly. I’d been late arriving last night but he’d been patient and understood. He’d brought the four-wheeler because it was faster.
We’d gone to bed pretty early but this morning was bright and he woke me up to smell of coffee and breakfast.
“That’s not fair.”
He glanced up and smiled. “It totally is. Besides, it’s after nine.”
“Really? Wow. I must have been tired.”
“I think you were. Breakfast in five.”
I got up and headed to the bathroom first then joined him in front of the fireplace. Mornings were chilly and he still had to have a fire to cook. He was making omelets this morning and I couldn’t wait.
He and I were closer and I felt like I could be here forever. Once breakfast was done we both sat down to eat and get woken up.
“How about a picnic lunch?”
I paused, fork mid-air. “Dude, we’re not even done with breakfast.”
He chuckled. “I know, but the place I have in mind would take some time to get to. Figured we’d need to prep as soon as we’re done.”
“Makes sense.”
We finished eating breakfast and then got changed for the day, before we made lunch together. Sandwiches, chips, and some sliced fruit. He added some water bottles and got the backpacks ready with our provisions. We set out at about ten.
He was leading because he knew where to go and I was just following. It was a trail he used frequently as indicated by the worn path. The trees had sprouted various shades of green leaves and some had small colorful flowers. There was a cascade of wildflowers all under the trees and lining the paths we were
taking.
“Is springtime here always this pretty?”
“For the most part, yes.”
“I recognize some of the lilies, but some of them I’ve never seen.”
“Lilies are prevalent in this area.” He paused and kneeled down. “But this is a Sea Blush. They’re wild and very popular in this area as well.”
“I like the name, Sea Blush.”
He smiled and we kept walking and he occasionally pointed out more of the Sea Blushes and even a chocolate lily which I hadn’t seen before.
“We’re almost there.”
I caught up with him and when we came to the clearing I just stopped and gapped at the field before us. It was a huge open field just filled with wildflowers of all colors and shapes. Some I recognized, some I didn’t.
“This is gorgeous.”
“Not compared to you, but yes they are pretty.”
I felt the blush as it crept into my cheeks. “You should not be this good at making me blush.”
He smiled at me and got my hand, we walked farther into the field and this time I recognized some of them.
He pointed to one. “Henderson’s Shooting Star, this was the reason I brought you here.”
“These here? The purple ones?”
“Yes.”
“They’re pretty, but your eyes are much prettier. Blue happens to be my favorite color as well.”
I saw the slight tint to his cheeks and grinned, I could get him too. We moved deeper into the field before he found a small clearing for us and we put down the thin blanket and sat down.
“Why here?”
He tugged gently on my shirt and I followed him to lie down.
“Close your eyes and just listen.”
I found his hand between us and got it but followed his advice. I closed my eyes and just listened to nature. There was the slight buzz of insects, the rustle of leaves, and the slight wind that blew across my face. I could smell the damp earth around us and the various scents of the flowers. I could feel the sun, warm
on my exposed skin and the feeling of contentment washed over me.
“This is awesome.”
His hand squeezed mine and I just enjoyed it. I wasn’t sure how long I laid here enjoying the sun and smells before I felt him move.
“Calming, isn’t it?”
“It really is. Do you come here a lot?”
I opened my eyes and he smiled. “I do come here a lot. It’s not so great in the heat of summer, but the pack comes here too.”
“You don’t come here in winter?”
“I do as a wolf. It’s too hard to hike it in this form.”
I could feel my own wolf relaxed and happy, something that was rare for any situation with me. Usually he was wound up and very stressed.
I brought his hand up and kissed the back of it. “Thank you for bringing me here.”
His cheeks blushed. “Anytime.”
He lay back down on his side, so I moved to mine as well. The color of his eyes were mesmerizing to me and the softness of his lips. I didn’t at first realize that either of us had leaned in until I felt the soft lips against mine. There was a tingling and warmth that seemed to spread through my entire body. There was a quick break before he came back for more. I couldn’t identify the fuzzy feeling that was coursing through my body.
I moved my arm around his waist and pulled him closer, my hands barely grazing skin that had become exposed. We finally had to part because, ya know, breathing was needed. I moved my hand up his side and to his face, tracing his jaw.
“How was your first kiss?”
His cheeks were slightly red but he smiled. “It was amazing.”
I didn’t get much time to even respond before he was kissing me again. That same fuzzy feeling came again and I pushed him back. As he moved to his back I heard the sound of ripping clothes, but I was confused about why I would hear that. But gazing down at those blue eyes, which had gone very wide I was confused.
“Cas?”
Wait, was that a whine I heard? Was that me? I blinked and he smiled.
“Dean?”
“Cas?”
Again, it sounded more like a whine which made no sense!
“Use your mind voice Dean.”
“Castiel?”
He smiled. “There you go. Dean, you shifted.”
“I..what?”
“Shifted. Look around at you.”
It took me a few moments but I saw paws where I should have hands and I could feel the breeze and hear things so much clearer. I’d shifted! I moved around a moment, getting used to the height and the feeling of the earth beneath paws instead of hands, and then I jumped and bound around Cas, because I was happy as hell.
Cas sat in the middle of the blanket and watched me, a bright smile on his face. I bounded over to him and nudged his cheek.
“Change.”
“Dean, I don’t have spare clothes and I’m not up to running home naked.”
I tilted my head. “I wouldn’t mind naked.”
Even with wolf eyes I could see the blush spread. “Dean.”
“So take off some things and shift. Please? Also…what do I look like? It’s hard to see my fur color or markings.”
He moved his hand and there was a gentle petting motion to my head and a gentle scratch behind my left ear.
“You’re gorgeous, Dean. You are true silver with golden freckles. Literally, it looks like they cover your entire body. Soft looking, but they stick out in the sun. Bright green eyes, they’re just like your human eyes and they look happy.”
The visual he gave me was nice but I insisted he take a photo as well, which he did with my phone.
“Now come on!”
He sighed. “Fine!”
I sat back near the blanket and well, I watched. I’d seen him without a shirt a few times but never without the pants and he kept his white boxers on. He should have dropped those too! But then he was shifting and the midnight black with rainbow tips was standing there and he was even more stunning through
wolf eyes.
He was standing pretty much nose to nose with me though.
“Am I really as tall as you?”
“You are it seems.”
That was insane! Since Castiel was the tallest shifter I knew of, that included the rest of the pack. He got closer and nudged his muzzle against mine. It made me feel like butterflies were fluttering around in my stomach.
He nipped at me and then took off! How dare he! So I chased him. Which ended up with hours of us chasing, tumbling, and playing generally in the field. Judging by the placement of the sun it was mid-afternoon when we came back to the blanket. Exhausted and needing a nap for real. He flopped down just off the edge and I tried the blanket but moved because it was too warm.
“That’s why I didn’t lay there.”
“You’ve had plenty of practice. I don’t even know what caused this shift.”
“Generally shifts occur when you feel safe, do you feel safe here?”
“With you? Yes.”
“Maybe that’s why then.”
I leaned in and nuzzled him, even gave a tentative little lick to his cheek. “You know with these eyes you look even more stunning.”
His head dipped slightly. “You look gorgeous.”
“You’re trying to make me blush.”
“Maybe, it would work if you were human.”
I tried rolling my eyes; and it seemed like the appropriate thing to do. But he just laid his head down on his paws. I followed and it was a nice feeling, laying here with him and I moved so I could be closer. I rested my head on his and felt him nuzzle against me.
We both slept for about an hour, and continued to lie here in the flowers. They all looked clearer and the colors were brighter with these eyes. Eventually
though he looked toward me.
“We should head back. It’s going to take some time.”
“I can’t really change until we’re back. I have nothing to wear. My clothes are in tatters.”
He seemed to laugh in wolf version before he shifted back and well, I liked that view. Enough to howl and I was sure if he’d turn around he’d be completely red. But he got dressed before turning to me.
“Really? Howling?”
I yipped at him before trying to help pack, but found I was a little useless with that, but Cas found a use as I could carry some of it to help. The walk back to the cabin was uneventful. I was finding that I felt things differently.
The ground felt softer or cooler in places and some were hard and dry. The smells of the woods were sharper and I could smell Cas even better as well, his more human scent. The flowers smelled sweeter, the ground smelled wetter if that was possible. The sounds were also different. Some things I heard were clear before, but now I could hear more birds and rustling of leaves and limbs, because they were subtle sounds to humans.
“How are you doing?” Cas asked.
“Good. It’s…different. The sights, sounds, and textures I guess.”
“Yeah, you’ll get used to it. Did you enjoy the day?”
“I did. I feel free and happy.”
“Good. Those are good feelings.”
A few more steps and I felt his hand on my head, gently rubbing. I found that I really liked this feeling, the way he would scratch or rub. Once we got back to the cabin I stepped into the bathroom and it took several moments to figure out how to shift myself back to human form. It was a strange feeling to be standing again on two feet. But I got dressed and stepped out.
“Better?”
“I think I like the wolf form better.”
He laughed. “Yeah, it is easier and faster in some senses. What do you want for dinner?”
“Anything, I’m starving.”
“I figured you would be.”
He got the fire going while I got the steaks he laid out ready. It was easy to move with him now. He fixed the steaks while I fixed some sides and then we ate there in front of the fire.
“Today was perfect. Thank you for taking me there, Cas.”
“I think I love you.”
I paused, blinked a few times. Had he really just dropped that line?
“Shit, that wasn’t how I wanted to say that or when. I’ve wanted to tell you all day Dean, but I didn’t know when the right time was and I tried several times toda…”
I leaned forward and kissed him, cutting off his sentence. He seemed to relax into me. When I pulled away he was blushing but his shy little smile was adorable.
“I think I love you too. I get these butterflies when you’re around and I feel so safe and happy with you.”
He pulled me back in for another kiss.
“I felt that way the first time I saw you, the first visit to Squamish. But I didn’t know you at all.”
“And your Dad’s privacy stuff doesn’t help.”
“No, but the more I got to know you the more I knew. You were the right one for me. You’re also the right one for the pack, Dean.”
“For the pack?”
He smiled. “Yes. They like you and they all agree that you’d be an asset to the pack. They like that you get me out of this cabin too. I like that you do that as well. We took a vote yesterday and they all agreed, they want you to join us. I want you to join me.”
I blinked at him. “You’re serious?”
“Yes.”
I didn’t mean to really attack him but I pretty much did. He didn’t mind the kisses or the hugs though.
“I’d be honored to be part of your pack.”
He kissed me. “We’ll get settled then we’ll go get Sam.”
“Really?”
He nodded. “I don’t know your father but if Sam wants to leave, along with anyone else, we’ll take them.”
I kissed him again and again…and again. It was an amazing feeling to be accepted and loved, to know that I was part of a pack. I was part of a family.
I was happy.
I was home.
