Chapter 31: Unclear

POV: Zac

December 1, 2007

Gabby had a brother, one she still wouldn’t talk to me about. She just kept waiting on him to come back and I severely regretted even telling her he was. She had fallen asleep watching the door Tuesday night and when she woke up Wednesday, she was clearly upset but not talking about it. Max had raised hell on my text messages but there was nothing I could do now, Shawn pulled rank and Maxwell was banned from coming back to see her, even now that she was in a private room he wasn’t allowed back.

She looked better, she was up some and moving around, they’d put her back on solids and she was clearly doing better. But she was back to ignoring the entire Shawn issue. I asked Isaac and Taylor to come sit with her for a few hours today, I had some errands and I desperately needed a shower! She was fine with me leaving as long as someone else was there.

They couldn’t believe what an asshole Maxwell was being, Taylor and Stella had gone over Wednesday to get her things and he refused to let them inside. Point blank told them she was coming there when they released her and there was no other option. Well, I was sorry for them but she wasn’t going there. I left the hospital and first went home and showered. I then called my friend Andrew.

“Hey Z, what’s up?”

“Nothing much, I have a favor to ask.”

“Anything.”

“I need your truck and you, a friend needs to get her things and I need help.”

“A friend?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, give me the address and I’ll meet you there.”

I gave him Gabby’s address and then went over myself, arriving the same time he did. Andrew had been my friend since we were in pre-K and he looked the same as he had a few months ago. Bright blue eyes, slight beard, and shaggy brown hair. I hugged him and then his brother got out of his truck. Andrew had a build similar to my own, I could whip his ass if needed but his brother Jack was someone I avoided starting fights with. He was training to be a professional wrestler and his body was rock solid, abs that were like steel, huge arms. But I knew he was a really nice guy, they looked alike but Jack had brown eyes and kept his hair much shorter.

“Jack.”

“He mentioned you moving things, I’m here if needed.”

“So, who’s this friend?” Andrew asked.

“About that…see…her name is Gabriella and well, she’s technically my wife not my friend.”

“Your wife?” Jack asked.

“Yes. Granted it was Vegas and we were drunk, legally it stands. Someone broke in here before Thanksgiving and hurt her pretty badly. She lived here with her friend, Max. He’s an asshole.”

“Worse than you?” Andrew joked.

“Way worse.”

“Okay, so we’re getting her things?”

“Yep.”

I knew this was going to be bad and Max opened the door before I even stepped onto the porch and he blocked the door.

“Leave, I’m not letting you in either. You’re not even welcome here anymore and you can bet she’ll be filing before the end of the year and she will not be talking to you anymore.”

“I’m her husband Maxwell, I can call the police and have them come out. I am sure they’ll be more than happy to allow me to get her things.”

“Then call, you’re not stepping foot in this door. Neither is your little goon squad either.”

I heard Jack crack his knuckles and some color drained from Max’s face. Jack could twist Max into a pretzel if he wanted too, so I could understand the draining of color.

“We’re only here to help him move the items. Although, I agree with Zac. If we need the police, then we can call them. As a law major I can guarantee they will let us obtain anything that belong to his wife as he has legal rights.”

“The marriage is a sham, they were drunk and I did my research on that. She can simply null it without problems because they’ve both admitted to being drunk.”

“Until they both file and sign, the state recognizes the marriage as legal and binding.”

“Either way, I’m getting her things.”

“You will need the police then.”

I made the call and within fifteen minutes Detectives Myers and Mabis were on scene and the three of us stepped down to let them do the talking. Turns out it didn’t matter that we got married drunk, fact was we were married and under the threat of jail, he had to let us in to get her things. The apartment had been cleaned and I went straight to her room where the carpet was spotless, but I was sure blood had been here earlier.

“Zac, what do you want us to get?” Andrew asked.

I looked at him. “I’ll pack it up but the totes and boxes can go first.”

He and his brother began to get the totes and what was already packed and took them to their truck. Detective Mabis stood in the living room and Detective Myers stood in her room. I didn’t much care how it was packed but I just threw things into the boxes. She’d said everything in this room was hers, so I got it all.

“Max, where is her Nook?”

“It was busted so I threw it away.”

“She told me this morning that it was put away and they never touched it.”

“It was laying in the bedroom floor with a broken screen, clearly they touched it.”

I was certain they hadn’t, she indicated that the Nook was in her bedroom and had fallen down behind the bed. I was sure that what happened was he had broken it and thrown it away himself.

“That’s fine, I’ll buy her another one. I assume her phone was also broken?”

“Of course. Sorry she couldn’t keep the pictures of you.”

I smiled. “Well, I guess it’s a good thing I downloaded all the images from her phone on Saturday when she was at my house. She didn’t really have any on the phone. That’s not a problem and you can actually just remove her from your plan, I will add her to mine and I’ll cover the new phone.”

“No need. She won’t be staying with you anyway, you’re wasting your time doing this.”

I got the last several boxes and had them take them and then I paused in front of him. “I’m not wasting my time because when that doctor gives her release papers, she won’t be coming here. She said she’s going to Stella’s.”

He was pissed but he’d get over it. I followed my friends to my apartment where we unloaded her stuff, I just sat it against the wall in the living room, I’d let her decide where and what she took. Their payment for helping me was beer and pizza, I even ordered an extra one to take to the hospital for them. They did ask questions about her, general ones.

“So, what does she look like? Blonde I assume?” Andrew asked.

I shook my head. “Gabriella is a brunette. Very hot brunette.”

“Surely you have photos.”

I chose one of her from the ATV park and I had to brag with the cat suit picture.

“Fuck, how the hell did you get her? She’s way out of your league.” Jack said.

“Bite me.”

“So, is she moving in? I may wanna meet her.” Andrew said.

I eyed them both. “Touch her and you both lose your dicks. I’ll even take you on Jack.”

“Jealous much?”

“Protective, she’s had some shitty assholes in the past. It’s probably the reason she’s at the hospital now.”

“We are kidding Zac. You know that. No joke though, she’s fucking hot.” Jack said.

“Yeah, to think I got to see without those clothes.”

“Fuck you.” Andrew said.

I just smiled. When we were done I went and got the present I had for her, hoping she would like it. I’d purchased it before Thanksgiving intending on giving it to her then. I then went by Verizon and since she didn’t much like her Iphone, I got her a LG phone. I then went and replaced the Nook for her, they assured me she would be able to download what she had before without paying so that was nice. I then returned to the hospital. But, Abby was waiting in the waiting room.

“They won’t let me into the floor, I come back from school and they won’t let me back there.”

“I didn’t do it Abby. Max came up and showed his ass, so her brother banned both of you.”

“Her brother?” She asked.

“Don’t even pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. You know who Shawn is because you’ve known Gabby since you were eight and he didn’t leave until she was twelve. He took Max out and then vanished. You want to tell me why Shawn would ban you, when you weren’t even here?”

“He has no reason too. I’ll talk to Max though.”

I laughed. “You might want to wait a bit, I just picked everything of hers up from the apartment, he wasn’t pleased.”

I walked away and went to the elevator, went up and delivered lunch to my brothers and…wife. I liked the way that sounded really. My wife.

“Any issues?” Taylor asked.

“No. Andrew and Jack went with me.”

“To?” Gabby asked.

“I went and got your things from Max, Taylor and Stella went but he wouldn’t let them inside.”

“I could have told you he wouldn’t, but how did you?”

“Well, I tried alone but he said no. So, I called the detectives.”

She just smiled at me and I was sure the thought was I was liking the ability to do things because I was legally the husband. Taylor and Isaac stayed a little bit longer and then they left. She was laying on her left side, they weren’t restricting her at all in movement as long as it didn’t hurt but the knife they used was small, so it wasn’t much. They had her arm in a wrapped bandage, just to prevent much movement.

“So, um, where did you take my stuff?”

“My place, where else?”

“Little bit on the cocky side there aren’t we? To just assume I’d go there.”

I smiled. “Well, I was rather thinking I’d just take you there anyway, no need to store it in Ike’s garage when my place is big enough.”

“Just going to kidnap me?”

I got up and laid myself down carefully beside her, clearly confused her, and then I leaned in and nuzzled her neck, I was scared that this would freak her out because of what that bastard did.

“No, I was rather hoping I could just seduce you into coming home with me.”

“Seduce me into it huh?”

I placed a few soft kisses to her neck, tentative and sweet. “Is it working?”

“You’re not trying hard enough.”

I pulled back and looked at her. “I don’t want to hurt you Gabriella, physically or emotionally.”

She smiled and moved some of my hair. “You won’t hurt me, but you can’t seduce me without doing a lot more than that.”

“I think I’d look like a major creep if I tried to do much right now.”

“Gee, that never stopped you before!”

I moved back to her neck, just sweet kisses and I could feel her body relax against me some.

“You know if I move in with you, no lawyer will grant us an annulment or even a divorce.”

I paused, fear crept in because what if she did want to use the lawyer they got? What if she was determined to file, regardless. Why did it hurt to think she didn’t really want to be with me. I couldn’t face her right this minutes, so I just remained here with my face buried in the crook of her neck, letting the warm air circle her neck.

“Ah, I see you already know that. You were just as freaked out as I was Zac, maybe more. You are very use to doing whatever you want, with whoever you want and whenever you want.”

“I’m not freaking out now…”

I really hadn’t intended for that to sound as pathetic and whiney as it did, but I couldn’t take it back or change that now. I felt her shifting a bit.

“Are you trying to tell me you don’t want to get it annulled? I mean, moving in will tell a judge it wasn’t just a drunken mistake. Even with the current situation, I have other options.”

I moved so that I could see her and not her neck. “I don’t see Vegas as a mistake Gabriella. I know that we were both drunk as hell and didn’t have a clue it was actually legal, but obviously it’s what we both wanted, right? I would think if either of us were afraid or didn’t want too we would have shot the idea down.”

It was a logical explanation! One she didn’t seem to believe though and I don’t know why I was afraid for her to want the annulment, I guess I shouldn’t really expect her to want to be with me. Why should anyone? Priscilla ripped my heart out and since then it’s just been blondes at random times, why should anyone presume or believe I’d even want anything steady and real?

“Can you honestly tell me that you can resist every girl that comes along for the rest of your life? This includes Priscilla and Crystal. Anyone you’ve ever slept with. We weren’t even quite married a day before you were kissing her, intended or not and you can’t fully blame her.”

I really couldn’t resist just kissing her, the softness and warmth and the way she melted. It wasn’t even a distraction strategy either!

“I know that I haven’t given you any reason to believe that I can stay faithful to you. I don’t have the best track record but not a single one of them has ever made me feel like I do when I’m with you. You took my breath away the first time I saw you. After a few weeks you just consumed every thought I had. I don’t want Crystal. I don’t want Priscilla. I don’t want any other girl I’ve been with. What I do want is you. I won’t make you come home with me, I won’t make you stay married to me if that’s not what you want. But, either way, I don’t want this to be the end of us either.”

She remained very quiet and it was the doctor coming in that forced me to get up, he wanted to check on her and check the wounds, who was I to argue with the doctor. Because he told me to step outside I did. I felt like a nervous wreck and god I didn’t want her to go anywhere else. I walked down to the nurse’s desk and waited until she acknowledged me.

“Yes, sir, can I help you?”

“Can you tell me if Shawn Frost is working?”

“I’m sorry Sir, I cannot reveal schedules for employees.”

“Can you give me anything? I need to speak to him specifically.”

“I’m sorry. I can take a message if you’d like and pass it on.”

I really didn’t want that option, but I went ahead and left my first name and number, simply said I wanted to talk about his sister. I then returned to the room where she was now laying in the middle of the bed. Because I wasn’t sure if she wanted to discuss it anymore I got the two new items, the one I’d brought I left in my bag. That would just be too much pressure and that was the last thing I wanted to do. I handed her the new phone and Nook.

“New Nook? Did you not find mine?”

“Max told me the screen was busted so he threw it away. The same actually went for your cell phone also. I just replaced them both and you also have a new number.”

She looked at the phone and then me. “Because I’m not on Max’s plan anymore?”

“You’re on mine.”

She didn’t really say anything after that, just set up the nook and I thought she wouldn’t the phone but then she did, even asked for my parents number. But she seemed kind of down by that. She had her dinner brought and I went and got my own from the cafeteria. After that they got her bathed and back in bed. By 9 she was sound asleep. The doctor was saying she was healing very good. She’d probably go home next week, wherever home was to her. The upside to this room is I had the option to lay down and I had just gotten comfortable when my phone went off.

Is this Zac?

Yes…Who are you?

Meet me on the 7 th floor, room 715. It’s empty. Do NOT tell Ella where you’re going if she’s awake.

There was only one person it could be so I got up quietly and left her sleeping in her own room, I took the elevator up to the 7 th floor and then found room 715. It was empty except for Shawn who was sitting on the bed.

“I wasn’t entirely sure you’d even come.”

“I asked to speak to you, didn’t think you’d actually message or talk to me. I suppose you don’t need to know how she is?” I asked.

“No. I have access to her chart, I’ve kept a watch on her since she arrived.”

“You told me you would come back after your shift and I told her you said that. If you weren’t coming back you shouldn’t have said it.”

“She doesn’t want to see me Zac.”

“She ask for you! She’s been asking me where you are for months and I didn’t have a damn clue who you even were! Don’t give me that bullshit about her not wanting to see you. She clearly wants too.”

“You apparently don’t understand, has she not told you anything about me?”

“No. In fact, she flatly refuses to talk about you. What did you do that is so wrong?”

“You mean besides leaving on her birthday? Not being the big brother she deserved? Not even bothering to care about her? There were so many things that I did so wrong that I don’t think she really even clearly understands that I’m not what she needs.”

“You left on her birthday? Why?”

He slid up the bed and patted it, he was in his work uniform so I assumed he was on break, so I sat down. Giving myself room though.

“I am sure you’ll hate me after this but Gabby was born when I was four. Our parents weren’t that great so naturally we were closer. Least until after her first birthday, they didn’t send me to school for days and child services came to see why. Unfortunately the reason was they were on a three day binge of cocaine and heroin. I was 5 and she was 1, I couldn’t change diapers but I made bottles until I couldn’t.”

I blinked. “What do you mean you made bottles?”

“I took care of her Zac, I just dressed her honestly. I was five and she wouldn’t lay still for diapers. I just changed her when she would let me. I had no choice. I made bottles of whole milk and gave her cereal, I knew she had to eat at least. I was happy when an adult showed up, but then they took us away.”

“Understandable, I would assume she wasn’t really that clean.”

The thought that any parent would be that cruel to their children was making me ill or that anyone would assume a 5 year old could remotely handle a 1 year old.

“No, she wasn’t. I just thought they’d keep us a few days but as weeks passed and then we went to a foster home I just couldn’t deal with it. Ella was so…easy going. She attached herself to anyone that paid attention to her. She always followed me at the homes, understandable but adults could talk to her and she’d be happy.”

“Most babies are Shawn.”

“I know that now, but I was 5. I didn’t understand how she could see these strangers as good. Sadly, we changed fosters homes twice because of me. The Pines actually split us up.”

“Why?”

“She was a perfect four year old and I was a hellion. They didn’t want me, so they sent me back and I went to the Darlings, I was happy Zac. I didn’t have her there and they were solely focused on me. A month later they brought Ella home. She nearly knocked me down when she saw me, apparently she lost it when I left. She had fits where she just screamed for hours, she had extreme up and down emotions, she was either very happy or very sad. After a month they attributed it to me being gone.”

“She loved you, she missed you.”

“Yeah, I didn’t see it that way. I was just pissed that she was there. By that point I blamed her for us being taken, blamed her because I could take care of myself, irrational to believe they took us solely because of her. When she was 6 and I was 10 we were adopted, I hated that. She wasn’t even there a week and she was calling them mom and dad, I hated her for that.”

I kept quite because I really didn’t know what to say. I’d never felt that way toward any of my siblings, but then again I didn’t have that past either nor did I have younger siblings.

“I tried running away when I was 14 and she followed me, said she wouldn’t leave me and she’d go wherever I went. I was hoping Abigail could replace me but she didn’t, Ella still preferred to be near me and I preferred anywhere but where she was. Jacob was always hard on me but treated her like a saint, she told me he was having her touch him and even showed me where but I didn’t believe her. I should have.”

He paused, wiped his face off and rubbed his hands against his thighs.

“I decided to leave and I didn’t tell her, I waited until she was asleep and then left. But I left notes and I basically told her I was leaving because of her, that I hated her and I wanted to be as far away as possible. Which is what I did, I left Oklahoma for a long time. The last time I saw her was just after her 16 th birthday, I barely recognized her. Her hair was black and way longer than I ever remember, she wore dark make up and Ella hated make up. I didn’t approach her but she didn’t see me either. She’s not going to want to see me.”

“She waited on you, obviously she does. It makes sense now, Max moved in after you left. She attached herself to him and when he left when she was 16 she went insane. Shawn what you saw was the start of her downward spiral. Abigail said she was really bad, drugs and alcohol.”

He snorted. “Abigail is not quite the friend you may assume she is.”

“I noticed you banned her as well.”

“Yeah, Max said he’d just have her go talk sense into her. Ella is quick to trust and Abigail was a big influence on her, she would do anything Abby wanted. Truthfully, I don’t trust this Max and when he mentioned her being his girlfriend I just added her too, didn’t want her to sneak shit in. Ella needs rest and she doesn’t need drama right now.”

“I agree. But I thought Abigail was a good influence on her, tried to help her when Max left.”

He snorted. “Abigail knew where Max was, I saw them several times in Oklahoma City, hanging out. Meanwhile where was my sister? Getting high and drunk with some random guy. I should have done something then but I was so certain that she didn’t miss me, that she was better off without me. I was still so angry with her and I didn’t even have a reason.”

“What about now?”

“She’s 24 and I haven’t been in her life in 12 years, I have no idea what she likes or hates or whatever. But, why would she want a brother that left her with a monster?”

“How do you know he’s a monster, you didn’t believe her.”

“He was arrested and sent to prison when she was eighteen. They adopted another little girl after she left and she wasn’t as easy going, first time he touched her she told her teacher. Turns out he did that to a few girls in the neighborhood too. They tried to reach her but no one could find her.”

“It sounds like you kept up without really being around and come on, you’re here in Tulsa again.”

“Moved back last year and took a job here. I never expected her to be brought in though. I saw the name come up on the screen and I didn’t believe it was her. Then again, there aren’t many Gabriella Skye Frost’s around. That sounded strange to say, I don’t think I’ve ever called her anything but Ella.”

“Why Ella?”

“It was what I wanted to name her, but mom chose the name. I liked that Ella was there, so it’s what I called her. The foster home didn’t even know her full name until they got papers.”

“You should come see her Shawn, talk to her. I don’t think she’s mad at you and I don’t think she hates you. I think she just doesn’t understand and honestly, she may not understand your reasons now.”

“I found our parents, but I don’t think she needs to know them.”

“There her parents.”

He shook his head. “It’s better that she not remember them Zac, they don’t remember her. They barely even remembered me, in fact I was referred to as the annoying brat. When I asked if they remembered her she was just a problem. A reason for them having records because they were convicted of child neglect and spent like a year in jail.”

“They really didn’t remember her at all?”

He shook his head. “I wondered from time to time what she’d do with her life. I didn’t think she would chose roadie.”

“Why not? She seems to like it.”

“Promise not to tell her if I ever see her?”

“Promise.”

He got up and took his shirt off, scared me at first but he turned around and there was a huge tattoo in the center of his back. He turned a light on so I could see it better, it was a tiger that was lounging under a beautiful tree, the colors were vivid and the tiger looked so real.

“Did she not like them?”

“She drew it when she was ten, gave it to me for my birthday that year. It was one of several I took with me when I left. This one was special because she actually used color and she rarely did then. She said black and white was simple, pleasing.”

“Gabriella drew that?”

“Yes. But, I heard Abby tell her several times that drawing was for men. Does she not draw now?”

“No. She hasn’t even mentioned it to me.”

He frowned and put his shirt back on, that was far better than anything I had drawn in a long time. Although, the details could have been added to enhance the picture because it was a tattoo.

“I wish I could have been telling her to keep drawing. I guess she stopped wanting to be a doctor?”

“When you left, although its odd that she followed Max. Someone she loved.”

“I don’t like that asshole, she actually loved him?”

“Yeah, for two years at least before he left. Told her she was like a sister and a friend. She followed him into being a roadie, it’s what he does. It’s why she toured with us.”

“Is that how you both ended up in Vegas?”

“Yeah, but I don’t think she wants to remain married to me. She um didn’t seem like it earlier. I guess she’ll stay with my brothers girlfriend for a bit and then I don’t know.”

“You got married.”

“We were drunk, very drunk. I won’t push her to stay married if it’s not what she wants.”

“With her you can never tell. She was smart for her age, not like super genius smart or something but she was very good at learning and retaining. Not sure if that survived puberty though.”

I recalled how she saw my drum set up once and knew exactly how to repeat it each show.

“I think it survived.”

“I need to get back to work, my lunch is nearly over. I’ll think about it but I don’t want to cause her anymore pain. I know leaving was going to hurt her very much and I was just dumb and irrational.”

“No argument from me there.”

He and I both got up and he went back to his work area and I returned to the room. She had moved but she was still asleep. There seemed to be so much about her that I didn’t know. I didn’t care, I wanted her to come home with me, I wanted to call her my wife forever. I drifted off watching her sleep.