Chapter 30: Waking
POV: Gabby
November 27, 2007
I could hear beeping, swooshing, and off and on sounds of pumps. Given the way I felt I was pretty certain I was in a hospital. I should open my eyes but I just didn’t want too, everything felt weird and strange and the number of little round patches I could feel was alarming. Yet, keeping them closed means I slept and that lead to pretty erratic dreams.
I could feel the soft fingertips moving across my forehead, smoothing my hair back, even fixing the sheet and at times humming, that sound so familiar. The words fluttered into my mind it was pretty little horses a lullaby they was used at the group home, it was one he sung to me because they sang it so often.
“Shawn?”
There was no response and I finally opened my eyes but the right side would barely open and the left was blurry. I could see someone sitting there beside me on the bed. Could hear the song still, no one else knew that song.
“Shawn?”
“Shhh, you shouldn’t try to talk Ella. You’ve been asleep for some time.”
“Home…”
I felt a soft kiss to my forehead and then he was leaving.
“No…stay.”
I couldn’t get up or move to stop him, everything felt so heavy. It didn’t take long before I was back asleep and the next time I woke up, the sun was out and the room was bright. I could see a bit clearer and Zac was sitting in the chair near the wall, he looked very tired. I blinked a few times and when I tried to move the IV hurt and my right arm wouldn’t move.
“Gabby?”
“Where is Shawn? He was here.”
He looked confused and I didn’t remember seeing him during the night. But he did come to the bedside, the same soft fingers.
“Where am I?”
“Saint Francis South.”
“How did I get here?”
Worried etched his face and he frowned. “I found you Thanksgiving morning in the hallway. I called the paramedics and they brought you here.”
“That’s today?”
“No. Honey it’s the 27 th, you’ve been asleep for five days.”
That was rather shocking to know, five days?! I glanced around the machines and quietness.
“You’re in the intensive care unit, they’ve been watching you carefully to make sure there wasn’t any brain injuries. Do you remember what happen?”
I had to think about that one, what had happened? What would cause me to be here? I couldn’t remember, the last thing I remembered was…talking to him Saturday.
“I don’t…”
“It’s okay, just relax.”
I drifted in an out for several hours, little bits and pieces fluttering to me slowly. The argument with Max and Abby, packing, talking to him and the door.
“Should have stayed with you.”
“This is not your fault.”
“Max? Abby?”
“They’ve been up every day at least once. They can’t stay long though. Taylor and Isaac came up a while and Stella’s been by too. They wanted to bring flowers but they are not allowed in here so Stella printed some pictures of them.”
He motioned to the ones she’s sat up against the wall, pretty ones too. I smiled some the gesture was very sweet and so like her.
“Do you remember why you’re here now?”
“Barely..I remember the bedroom door opening and thinking it was Max coming back. It wasn’t Max.”
“It’s okay honey, just rest. No rush and no one’s making you remember anything.”
He sat down beside me and held my hand, completely opposite of what Max said he was like. I knew I was safe here, that he wouldn’t let anyone come in after me. It made sleep easy and each time I woke up he was there, which was frequent actually. About noon he left me for five minutes to go get whoever was here and I didn’t do very well. It was Stella that came back.
“Hey. You’re actually awake.”
“Yeah, off and on..where did Zac go?”
“He said he was going to get himself some lunch since I was here. Are you okay?”
Right…I was being fed by some saline solution dripping through the needle but Zac actually had to go feed himself somewhere.
“Yeah, I just…”
She smiled and sat down gently. “I understand. He’s been here since he brought you in. I’ve never seen this side of him before.”
“What side?”
“Caring, committed, worried and afraid. He hasn’t left the hospital.”
That was really pleasant news and she smiled and got another picture and put it on the wall.
“I wasn’t sure what your favorite kind were, so I tried to do everything.”
“They are perfect.”
“Good. When they put you in a real room I have dozens to bring.”
“I know I look horrible.”
She sat back down and smiled. “It’s to be expected, you actually look much better than the first time I saw you. At that time your eye was pretty much swollen shut, the bruising was worse. I think Zac cried over that, he won’t ever admit to that though. He was furious and upset.”
“I should have went to him when he called.”
“But you two were both still a bit iffy.”
“No, Max and Abigail are right. I just make stupid decisions, stupid mistakes.”
“You didn’t make any stupid decisions Gabby.”
“Always have.”
She rubbed my arm. “No you don’t. You made the decision to date Zac, with or without them. Yes, his ex is a bitch and I know she’ll try. But, Gabriella he cares about you.”
“He really hasn’t left?”
“No. He didn’t even go to his parents on Thursday, he came with you and he stayed here.”
I blinked, that was shocking news to me because he was looking forward to that home cooked meal. Stella sat there with me until he returned 35 minutes later. She stayed until her hour was up and then promised to come back the next day. He took her place.
“You missed turkey for me?”
“I did, Taylor made sure I got leftovers though. How are you feeling?”
“I’m afraid to move really. I am sure that other areas hurt.”
“Yeah, bruising is pretty bad. Are you remembering what happen?”
“Don’t want to remember it.”
He leaned down and kissed my forehead. “I know you don’t, but the detectives need to know so they find the assholes that did this to you.”
I really didn’t want to remember, despite the bits and pieces. Zac was patient but two detectives came in at 2:45 anyway, thankfully Zac didn’t have to leave the room.
“I’m Detective Mabis and this is my partner, Detective Meyers.”
I nodded but that was about all I could do. Zac sat beside me and they stood by the bed. Both of them were medium height, brown hair, Myers had dark brown eyes but Mabis had lighter eyes, hazel or a lighter blue. They were both dressed formally in black suits with white shirts.
“How are you feeling Ms. Frost?” Myers asked.
“Bit like a train wreck, but I assume that’s pretty much a given.”
“We’re glad you are awake, we have some questions if you’re up to answering them.”
I nodded. “I’ll try to answer them the best I can.”
“That’s all we’re asking. You were alone at the apartment, correct?”
“Yeah. My roommate, Maxwell Reed, had left earlier.”
“Did you have a disagreement with him prior to that?”
“Yes, we did have a disagreement and I told him I was leaving. He didn’t argue with that, once they left I packed up, had dinner, talked to Stella about staying with her and then texted with Zac.”
“Is there a reason why you didn’t call your husband?”
“We hadn’t decided on that, Vegas married us while we were both drunk.”
“Did Maxwell return?”
“No.”
“Do you remember what happen?”
I closed my eyes trying to remember past the door opening, but I really didn’t want too.
“I was woken up, thought someone came back but it got quiet. I was about asleep when someone came in the room, scared me. I asked who and the voice wasn’t anyone I knew.”
“Did you see their face?”
“He wore a ski mask but he was white, tall, I had to look up maybe…6 foot? Brown eyes.”
“You didn’t recognize his voice?”
“No. He um..”
I felt Zac’s hand on mine and the slight squeeze and the slight smile that said it was okay.
“No. He pulled me out of the room and there was a second guy there, shorter blonde hair with green eyes. He had a mask too but his hair had to be long, it was sticking out the back. They asked me about a floppy disk, something they wanted. When I told them I had no idea what they were talking about they hit me.”
“A floppy disk?” he asked.
“Yes. I have no idea what they’re talking about. I don’t own a computer so I don’t have any floppy disks or anything.”
He nodded and I proceeded, going through how they tied me to the chair at first, blonde repeatedly asking me about this disk, the other one tossing the house for it. Max didn’t even have any in his room. They’d forced me to unlock the phone and they replied to text messages so no one would come over. Which Zac looked like he regretted not coming anyway.
“The blonde left that night, leaving the other guy and then about 9ish he let someone else in.”
“So, there were three total?”
“Two at any given time, the blonde guy never returned. The first guy was calmer, I guess. He asked and hit but he didn’t threaten, the third guy had long black hair and blue eyes, he wore all black including gloves. He was about as tall as the other guy but I never really saw them standing together.”
“Did you know him by voice?”
“No. Black hair kept asking me about disk, where it was, what I did with it, where I had it put up. The other guy began to rip the furniture apart, tore down paintings, pictures, and generally breaking things. They insisted I had this floppy disk and I haven’t seen one.”
“Did all three men hurt you?” Detective Meyers asked.
“Yes. They all hit me depending on who was asking. Black hair is probably responsible for the splint, he twisted my arm when I wouldn’t tell him.”
“Ms. Frost, do you know which one raped you?”
I really didn’t want to recall that part, it was so close to the end though, I felt Zac’s hand tighten he already knew anyway I was certain of that.
“Both of them did but I am sure one of them used a condom, I heard the package rip I just don’t remember which one it was. He was the last one, I was pretty out of it by that point. I know it was after they had gone through everything.”
“In which room did that take place?”
“Mine, they’d dragged me in there to try to force me to tell but I didn’t know what they were talking about. I don’t know if that was the plan or not. I remember seeing them leave and thinking they had left and I was in the hallway when the black hair guy came back, he helped me up and then two quick stabs.”
“They were to your right side, was he left handed?”
“I honestly don’t know.”
They were continually writing things down as I talked and Zac was looking quite pale now. They asked a few questions about smells, if I noticed any other marks or accents.
“Did they ever mention drugs to you?”
“No. All they asked for was a floppy disk, they didn’t seem interested in money or anything else. They never mentioned any drugs to me.”
“Did they talk to one another at all?”
“Barely. Their conversation usually consisted of what they hadn’t looked through yet.”
“Thank you Ms. Frost. If you think of anything he has our card.” Detective Mabis said.
I nodded and they left the room.
“They were concerned with drugs earlier when they spoke to me also.”
“It’s possible this mysterious disk has something to do with it, but I don’t know.”
The doctor came in and he was evil having me move because everything still hurt. I could still remember early this morning, I swore Shawn was here. I swore I saw him. No one ever called me Ella but him, not even Abby ever used that name.
“Gabby?” Zac asked.
“Yeah?”
“You okay? You have this far off look.”
“Tired…has there been anyone else here besides the ones you told me about?”
“There’s been a nurse that’s come by a few times. I haven’t seen him since Saturday though.”
“Nurse?”
“Guy, I assumed he knew you from way back. He knew you were allergic to penicillin.”
“He was here?”
“Yes. He came in a few times actually, I would catch him when I’d stepped out. Always like very late.”
“Did he give you a name?”
“No, but one of the nurses called him Frost Saturday, she said he worked here a while in this unit. I was going to ask if you knew any cousins or something with that name.”
“No. Jacob and Julian didn’t have family.”
“Could it be Corbin? I asked but he didn’t answer. I asked him about Shawn too, Abigail refused to tell me anything. But, I didn’t mention this nurse to her. Honestly, I’m not that keen on them right now. I don’t like that you were leaving and didn’t even say anything, Max said you chose to leave. Is that true?”
I recognized that as a way out, he was giving me the option to avoid the first part. But, I quickly explained the argument to him and that it was my decision. Not that he seemed pleased with that. I was about to speak when his phone went off.
“It’s Max, he’s here to see you. I was very patient and nice while you were asleep. But, you’re awake now. If you’d rather not see him, I’ll tell him no.”
“It’s okay.”
He nodded and got up, clearly he had to go get them, strange that he was acting so…strange. He came back about five minutes later and Max looked quite shocked that I was actually awake and sitting up.
“Gabriella? You’re awake.”
“I’ve been awake most of the day, off and on anyway.”
“Are you feeling okay?”
“I feel like I should Max, hurt and like I was hit by a bus.”
He looked at Zac. “Can we have some privacy now? I’m sure with her awake you can step out.”
Zac just gave him this blank stare and not a frown or a smile, static look. “Not happening Max.”
Zac then sat down in the chair and waited. Clearly whatever Max had to say he was going to have to do it with Zac here.
“Gabby…”
I should probably have him leave, I am sure if I asked he would. But, honestly the way Max looked wasn’t any friendlier to me and I couldn’t defend myself right now.
“I am in no shape to make him leave Max, whatever you have to say I’m sure it’s fine if he hears it or is it you want to tell me how stupid I am?”
“Well, considering we know about Vegas, yeah.”
“It was just sex Max, get over it. Obviously I’m not pregnant or anything, wouldn’t matter if I was. The bastards that broke in made sure of that.”
“He’s adamant about protection Gabby, that’s not what I meant. What I meant was the marriage, it’s the only reason he is even here.”
“It’s what gave him the privilege of being in here yes. However, before you get all pissy on that, keep in mind that because he is back here, it let you and Abby back, otherwise neither of you would have been allowed back.”
“That is beside the point, you actually married him?”
“Well, we both agreed and filled the papers out. Granted we were under the impression it wasn’t legal. We didn’t find that out until we sobered up.”
“You were drunk?! That makes it even worse but you didn’t mention needing a lawyer or anything Monday. Not that you have too, Abigail and I have one for you and he’s been paid. He has the papers drawn up already he just some information on Zac mostly.”
Zac’s head shot up and I think he really did want to get out of the chair and beat him, his nostrils flared and just the look in his eyes said he didn’t like that they hadn’t even asked me what I wanted.
“Zac…”
He looked at me and lowered himself back down, really a fight in the ICU would get him banned from the room. I didn’t want that because I wanted him here.
“Well, I don’t need a lawyer Max.”
“For a divorce you do, it has to be filed legally.”
“Neither of us have agreed to a divorce yet, we really haven’t talked about it much. Honestly Max, that is the last thing on my mind right now. Considering I was stabbed, beaten, and raped for some floppy disk I’ve never even seen the thought of divorce is pretty fucking low on the list.”
“You know after a while they don’t just grant them, they require a lot more.”
I blinked. He hadn’t even bothered to pretend to listen to what I said.
“I’m aware of that. But, that’s not a main concern for me.”
“Nothing was missing and Abby was putting your things up. I don’t think you need to leave.”
I was foreseeing that sentence as the beginning of an argument, one I didn’t even feel like having right now. I was sore, hurting, and tired. Where I was sleeping when they released me wasn’t really a concern right this minute. ICU wasn’t a joke and I was sure I would be here another day or so and then I imagined not going home for another week or more.
“Max, I don’t want to do this now.”
“It needs to be handled Gabriella. You can’t keep running from shit.”
“She’s not running anywhere Max, she’s laying there with IV’s hooked up to her.”
“Just stay out of it Zac, I am sure the drunken state didn’t much apply to you, even Vegas has limits and drunken marriages is one. I don’t know what your objective is but whatever it is you need to just stop.”
I blinked, I was there as well and Zac was just as drunk as I was, if not more. I wouldn’t even tell him the marriage was my idea, not his.
“I don’t have an objective and the place we were at didn’t really care. Perhaps you should stop jumping to conclusions Max.”
“I’m still leaving.”
“You shouldn’t, they attacked you looking for something they clearly didn’t find. Do you think they’ll stop?”
“You didn’t seem to care about that when I told you Monday I was leaving. You simply left.”
“You were locked in the room Gabby. You locked us out.”
“I’m still leaving, Stella is fine with me being with her.”
“Right, Stella. Why not just say it Gabriella? You’re moving in with Zac.”
“I did not say that, I said I was staying with Stella. Nowhere did I mention Zac.”
I heard the increase in the beeping and it told me my heart rate was increasing, but he was being irrational and stupid, I hadn’t even mentioned Zac and he was jumping to that. Odds are Abigail would too. I was planning to go home with Stella Friday anyway, so why change that?
“You don’t need too, I know how your decision making skills are, they are not really the best ones. You tend to make stupid decisions and they always get you in stupid situations. Like being married now to someone you barely know, moving into a house with someone you barely know. Those are stupid decisions.”
“Guess I’m just…”
“Gabriella, don’t you dare say that you are stupid, you are not stupid. Max I think you need to leave and I think it’s best that you not come back while she’s in ICU.”
“You can’t stop me Zac.”
“As her husband I can stop you.”
“As her husband that has admitted to a drunk wedding you can’t. She needs to stop being treated like she’s some fragile little doll. I tried the easy open approach but really, she’s been making stupid decisions since I met her.”
The heart rate was higher and I didn’t know what to do. There wasn’t anything I could say or do that would change his mind. I looked out the door hoping a nurse would be there and I could get them to come in, maybe that would shut them up. But the person my eyes landed on was not just any nurse. He wasn’t really looking at me, talking to a nurse that was looking at me and the heart rate jumped again, I couldn’t even hear Zac or Max talking anymore.
“Shawn! Shawn! Wake up! Mom is going to fix us pancakes!” I shouted excitedly.
It was my 12 th birthday and she always made my favorite foods, she did for us both. But when I opened his bedroom door, the room was empty.
“Shawn?” I called.
His bedroom was completely empty and I hadn’t seen him anywhere else in the house. He was usually a later riser than I was.
“Shawn? Where are you?”
His bathroom door was open, the bed was made and then I saw the two notes. One addressed to our parents and one to me. Excited that he might be gone to get me something I unfolded mine and I really wish I never had. It was a simple note saying he was leaving and he was never coming back. That he hated me and that he had to leave and get as far away from me as possible. I folded up my note and checked there’s, which simply said he was leaving. I folded mine up and put it away, then went to the kitchen.
“Where is Shawn honey?” Julian asked.
“He’s not here.”
“He should be, he has school this morning.” Jacob said.
“He ran away, he left this on his bed.”
They both looked at it and while Julian seemed worried, Jacob just smiled at me, I’d be alone with him now and Shawn wouldn’t be here to distract him or save me. I just knew Shawn wouldn’t do that, he’d be here after school. But he didn’t come home…and Jacob was the only one waiting on me.
I hadn’t seen Shawn since then but when the nurse turned I knew it was him. I could hear noises, ringing and then they were both coming this direction but he was hesitating, probably because he could see me and this time I was awake.
“Shawn!”
It really only took me a split second to realize how desperate and needy that sounded but I really didn’t care right now. I just wanted someone, anyone to make them stop. Zac actually did stop and he turned to me, but Max kept yelling at him about how stupid I was to marry him, how stupid I was to agree to anything with him. I just didn’t know what to do or say. Shawn still hesitated but I think it was the tears and maybe the look that prompted him to come into the room. He roughly grabbed Max’s shoulder.
“Hey! You need to leave. Mr. Hanson has every right to kick you out.”
“He doesn’t. Drunken mistakes don’t count.”
He turned Max around quickly, man handled him even. “Let me try this then, as the closest relative to her I am telling you to leave.”
“Who the fuck are you?”
“Her brother, it’s time you go.”
The female nurse was putting something in the IV and as Shawn was leaving the room I reached for him.
“No…Shawn..”
Whatever she’d given me was working quickly because he was fading quickly and then I was asleep. It was a few hours before I started waking up again and Zac was sitting beside the bed, holding my hand.
“Hey, baby are you okay?”
Shawn wasn’t in the room and I was sure he was gone again, he left me again and when the tears came Zac wiped them away.
“He didn’t leave Gabriella. He had to report back to his floor because he’s on the clock. He promised he would come back when he got off. This Shawn is not an ex-lover or a friend. He’s your brother and he was the one adopted with you?”
I nodded. “Did he talk to you?”
“Not really, he just said not to allow Maxwell back and not Abby either. He didn’t like how Max talked to you. Apparently he heard a lot more than I thought. He said he had to get to work but he’d be back. Gabby, he’s the nurse that I’ve seen.”
“I figured he was, he always wanted to be a doctor.”
“What happen? You haven’t mentioned him at all and you never talk about him.”
“He ran away on my 12 th birthday, left me there with Jacob. It hurt so badly when he left. Max moved in next door a month later and his birthday was close and he was there.”
“Then he left too, I made that connection earlier. You got very upset and I agree with Shawn, I think it’s best that you and Max not talk right now. You aren’t in physical shape and he doesn’t need to be saying those things. You aren’t stupid.”
“Not so sure about that…”
He kissed my forehead. “You aren’t stupid.”
He had Isaac come up that afternoon to sit with me while he got dinner. Doctor’s said I could do liquid diet so he was bringing me something from the cafeteria. I requested beef broth and some juice. Isaac was cool, talked the whole time Zac was gone about whatever he felt like, mostly news. He stayed a bit longer even when Zac returned and we waited, but I fell asleep at eleven and Shawn hadn’t showed up.
I guess he really did hate me.