Chapter 26: Right Decision
POV: Gabby
June 27, 2008
I was convinced as I sat here in the studio chair watching them argue over a line that I might have been better off at home, but that wasn’t going to happen. In addition, he sprung me with a fall tour this year! They had planned it already and even announced it, I didn’t even think they were doing another one!
I watched them a few more minutes but eventually I went back to what I was doing, meticulously staring at the pages of coded letters and numbers, I’d tried the common ones I had knowledge about but they hadn’t worked, so I was trying to see if there was a different one. I wasn’t having much luck but it was keeping me occupied. About 11 my phone beeped and I checked it, it was a message from Max.
Gabs..can you answer the door? I’ve been knocking for an hour. I know you’re mad at me but please just talk to me?
I looked up at them, Isaac looked so frustrated with them and they were still debating a paragraph, which was now in the third draft.
I’m not home. I’m at the studio. You can come here but I can’t guarantee that Zac’s going to let you in.
Can’t you meet me somewhere?
No. I’d have to tell him where I’m going in his car and he’s not going to let me go alone and I’m not going to lie about it.
Fine, I’ll come to you.
The room had gotten oddly quiet and I looked up to all three of them looking at me. “What?”
“That’s Max’s ringtone.” Zac said.
“He wanted me to answer the door, he said he’d come to me.”
“Here?” Taylor asked.
“Yeah.”
“Do you really think he’s safe here?” Isaac asked.
“Well, I knew for a fact that Zac’s not letting me meet him alone, so his only option was here. Maybe he’s ready to admit he’s just jealous.”
Zac didn’t say anything and Isaac and Taylor eventually went back to editing and perfecting, drawing him in. Max sent me a message when he arrived and I got up to let him in. I kissed Zac’s cheek.
“I’ll yell if I need you.”
“Okay.”
He really did seem concerned that I was actually talking to him, perhaps this wouldn’t be one of my better decisions but Max had been a friend for so long, that I couldn’t believe that he would truly hurt me. Even if he had already. I went to the front and let him inside.
“Wow, this place is pretty big inside, looks small from outside.”
“I was shocked too, but I can now roam around blindfolded and not hit anything, I usually am as I stare at the phone as I walk around.”
“How far back does it go?”
“All the way, they’re back there though and honestly if you want to talk to me you’re better off up here.”
“I can’t believe you are still with him.”
“Well, believe it. I apparently can’t get rid of him, I wake up in the hospital and he refused to leave.”
“Hospital?”
“Abigail didn’t tell you?”
“She’s rather not talking to me that much. I guess my temper in Wisconsin and then your surgery she just hasn’t really wanted to speak to me. How did the surgery go? I didn’t cause that did I?”
I sat down in the desk chair and he chose one nearby.
“No. The warning signs were present weeks before that, pain and discomfort, swelling, it really didn’t rupture until we were like an hour away or something. Believe me, Zac asked if you had anything to do with either condition I was there for.”
“Either? You were there for a appendix removal, that’s one condition.”
His mom had told me when I went to her that keeping it a secret wasn’t always good for me mentally and emotionally, that while I wanted to avoid I didn’t need too. But, I knew how Max would respond and I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear it.
“Gabriella?”
“It wasn’t just the appendix. That was the major reason I was there but I miscarried as well, didn’t even know until he told me when I woke up from surgery.”
He seemed confused as he processed the words. “You were pregnant?”
“Yes. Five to seven weeks is what the doctor said. You slamming me into a wall didn’t cause that either, and there was no reason. Just happened.”
“You actually had unprotected sex with him?”
“Yes Max, we have sex without condoms like normal married people do. Anyway, it’s in the past. For the record, we still have sex.”
“I don’t see why. He actually called to see if you were with me, said you ran away.”
“I know he called you, he called everyone because he didn’t know where I was.”
That seemed to shock him, yet I knew Zac had called, he told me he had called everyone and he had the phone records to prove it.
“You mean…you actually left?”
“Yeah, I just reached a point where I couldn’t deal anymore. Between you acting like a jealous asshole, Sierra acting like some know it all, fans and just everything. I just ran.”
“You didn’t come to me, where did you go? What happen?”
“I went to Tera’s house, I mean I knew you and Abby would be wanting to talk and shit. I just wanted to forget the feelings.”
“Feeling?”
“Come on you knew I didn’t want kids, but after he told me I got to the point where every time I saw a baby I’d consider the what ifs and whys, I just didn’t understand.”
“Are you two trying for kids? Because that’s fucking stupid if you are.”
“No, we aren’t trying, we weren’t trying then either. It just happened.”
“I suppose the bruises on your neck say how much you aren’t trying.”
“You’re fault for introducing it Maxwell.”
“Pretty sure you had to tell him about it. Why are you still with him? Come on Gabs you know how he is.”
“I do and it’s not how you keep saying. What is your problem with us? You have no right to be jealous Max, you and I aren’t and weren’t together. You didn’t even try to be with me when I was there.”
“Abigail and I were together.”
“But that never stopped you before, come on are you really going to tell me you two never dated way back then? Don’t pull that on me now.”
“I sent you on the tour to get you out there and to show that you don’t have to be with jackasses. I didn’t tell you to marry the asshole drummer who doesn’t know how to keep his dick in his pants.”
“He’s done remarkable well with that since we got married. Stop using that.”
“Well? He’s done well? You were in a hospital suffering a miscarriage and appendix removal and he was in a fucking car with some blonde, trying to make more. Yet, his wife, was just left there alone.”
“He wasn’t with anyone Max.”
“Come on Gabriella, you saw the pictures of him with them all. How can you just ignore them? You saw him with the girl in the car and you just what? Let it slide because he was hurting, yet he wasn’t there for you. He just left you there alone to deal with this?”
I looked at him. “Pictures?”
“Come on Gabriella. You saw the pictures, I know you did. You had to have seen him in that damn car with her.”
I was very confused because I hadn’t mentioned any pictures to him and Zac hadn’t said why I’d left either. I was certain that Maxwell should not know about the pictures, and considering that Taylor and Isaac hadn’t seen them, then how would Max know the details of any of them?
“Gabby come to your senses, getting blow jobs in alleys? Touching fans asses? All while you are there. Come on do you honestly believe he was at the venue when you were in New York? No, he was out fucking some blonde in her car. He’s been cheating on you with any blonde that comes his way.”
That was very detailed and I could already feel the little flutter of pain, because there was just one way that he would have knowledge of those pictures.
“Maxwell, how did you know I got pictures? How do you know what they looked like?”
“He told me.”
“Even if he told you about them, he wouldn’t describe them.”
He got up and headed toward me and I moved from the chair. “Don’t come near me. How did you know about the pictures?”
“Abigail told me.”
“You just said Zac told you and you said Abigail wasn’t talking to you. You didn’t even know I was missing.”
“Gabriella, come on. I’m not going to hurt you.”
He’d toned his voice down to what it had been so many years before like it was last March when he held me as I cried about everything. All he was doing was trying to calm me down, patronize me. His voice also told me he was trying to divert my attention, he was always good about that. If I was mad at him he’d soothe me over and then we’d have sex, had always been that way until now.
“You put the pictures under the door because you knew if you handed them to me, I wouldn’t believe them. Why would you do that? It’s the only way you would know what they looked like, because no one showed them to you. Even if you were told, no one had seen them.”
I knew Abigail had, but she wouldn’t have described them to him. He crossed his arms.
“Of course I sent them to you! Because someone had to break through your delusional ideas that he’s some saint. You won’t listen to me, you won’t listen to the fans that he was fucking the whole time, you just pretended nothing proved it. There was your proof. Yet you still are with him.”
“My proof? You used pictures from 2005, edited pictures. Do you have any idea what you did?”
“What I did was give you a reason to believe us.”
“I nearly fucking died because of you!” I yelled.
“What are you talking about? You’re fine. The pictures couldn’t have killed you.”
“Maxwell you had no idea what was going on. You didn’t know about the miscarriage, you didn’t know how I was feeling or what I would do.”
“You should have come to me, just like you did in March.”
“I’d told you multiple times if he fucked up I wouldn’t come to you. Why would you be so fucking stupid? I was already feeling like no one gave a shit and that just done it.”
“I didn’t do anything but show you the truth.”
“You showed me lies!” I yelled.
“Calm down Gabby.”
“No. You had no idea what was going on and what I would do, do you have any idea what you caused?”
“You would have come to me, I could have helped you. You should have never left my apartment.”
That little nag of a pain was getting worse as I realized that he’d sent the picture with the sole reason of making me leave, assuming that I’d run to him. He had no idea what he did and when Zac did call, he thought he was lying.
“Maxwell, I went to Tera not you. She was my only option at that time. After some crying and soothing we went to the living room and Daniel was cutting lines of pure cocaine. I couldn’t say no. No one knew where I was and you thought he lied? Eleven days I binged on cocaine and alcohol and finally James came along and called Sierra who called the paramedics. I was holding a fucking doll crying because it wouldn’t. I nearly killed myself wanting someone to stop me.”
“What does that have to do with me?”
I blinked, he really was fucking clueless.
“I would have never left the apartment had you not slid those under the door. I’d have never gone to Tera, I wouldn’t have done those lines, and I wouldn’t have overdosed. You keep telling me you’re doing this to protect me or to help me, but from where I’m standing Zac’s the one doing that. He came to the hospital when Shawn called him, he wouldn’t leave. He wouldn’t let me just leave alone, he wouldn’t let me just bottle it up. Why do you think I’m here Max?”
“Because he’s just like Simon, controlling you. He won’t let you visit friends alone, he won’t let you have lunch with me alone.”
“That’s not why. I’m here because it’s the safest place for me to be. He didn’t hide it from me Maxwell, he told me he would feel better if I was here. Because I almost went back to Tera Monday, I made the right decision to go to his mother instead. You need to leave and you need to forget my number all together.”
“Gabriella. That is not my fault. He is controlling you here, you can’t go anywhere, you can’t see people, you are no better off here than you were with Simon. At least Simon made sure you behaved, even if it took making you unable to sit down. Even if it took bringing in other men.”
I was pretty sure that the moment his eyes made contact with mine that he realized he’d made a mistake. There were very few people that knew about Damien, Simon and I. Max was not one of them, I hadn’t been able to tell him at all. That nagging pain amplified quite a bit because there was no way he should have known that.
“Get out.”
“Gabriella.”
“GET OUT!” I screamed.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
He was close to me but then he started to back away. I was confused as to why he would he be afraid of me? But then I felt Zac’s body against me and his hands came to rest on my waist.
“She told you to get out, I suggest you do it.”
“She needs to fucking listen, you aren’t who she needs to be with.”
I didn’t mind when Zac shuffled me around and got in front of me, I felt safer and even more so when I saw Taylor and Isaac coming up the hallway too. Evidently, they heard my scream.
“She doesn’t have to listen to you, she just needs to listen to herself. Honestly Max I don’t want you anywhere near her, but I didn’t say anything because she has known you longer. But, because she is screaming at you to leave, I am betting you’ve said or done something wrong.”
“Don’t act like you care. You were the one out fucking blondes while she was stuck in a hospital because she miscarried your baby. Maybe that’s a good thing, surely you wouldn’t have given three shits about her or the little brat afterwards.”
When Zac moved I let go of his shirt because that had hurt me and he’d been just as hurt as I was. I just stood back because not even Taylor and Isaac was doing a good job at pulling him back and I didn’t want to be hit by accident. Taylor and Isaac managed to pull him off and while Zac’s nose was bleeding, Max surely looked worse. I walked over to him and kneeled down.
“He’s wanted to do that for a while now. I don’t know how you know about Damien but I never told you. I’m sorry Maxwell, you need to leave me alone and by that I mean, I’m done with you. I won’t answer calls, I won’t answer e-mails, or text messages. I won’t talk to you. You are ultimately responsible for the overdose because you thought sending those pictures would make me run to you, you had no idea what was going on and you were just an arrogant prick. I’ll be sure to tell Abigail what happen, whether she remains your friend or fuck buddy or whatever she is, is up to her.”
“He sent the pictures?” Zac asked.
“Yeah, because he thought I’d leave and go to him.”
I really didn’t expect him to go after him again, but Isaac barely got me out of the way. Max never got a hit in that time and after two punches to the gut he actually managed to get away and ran from him. Zac had done what no one else had ever done in my life. He’d stood up for me, proved he was willing to do whatever it took to make sure I was safe. He came back up the hallway and despite the blood, I just hugged him. He mildly grunted, I guess he was a bit sore.
“Sorry.”
“It’ll be fine. He doesn’t hit that hard really.”
His arms tightened around me and it wasn’t long before Taylor’s arms came around both of us.
“I am not passing up a group hug.” Ike said.
He was on the other side, I really didn’t mind the suffocating feeling this time. The warm bodies squished against me was comforting and needed.
“Zac do you need an emergency room?” Taylor asked.
“No. I don’t think my nose is broken.”
The group hug disbanded and Taylor checked for him, got the blood to stop and I found a clean t-shirt to change into, considering his blood was now all over the shirt.
“Are you okay? He didn’t hurt you did he?” Isaac asked.
“No. Not physically anyway.”
“Hey, if you feel the need for male friends, Zac has plenty.” Taylor said.
I gave him a weak smile. “It’s not all that Tay. Just, he knows about something he shouldn’t know about.”
“Oh..well, he shouldn’t have tried to play your emotions either. Sending those pictures was the worst thing he could do, and you are right he is ultimately responsible.” Taylor said.
I nodded and after everyone was calmed back down we went back to work, I called Abigail and informed her about what happened, told her their relationship was their business, but if she remained with him or friends with him, that I didn’t want her to bring him around me. She sounded conflicted and confused about what to do but it wasn’t my choice, it was hers. I tried to figure out when or where he would have heard about Damien but nothing came to me. I was glad they called it quits at five, we stopped for Pizza on the way home and then settled down to eat.
“Going to assume he won’t be going to the police?” Zac asked.
“Doubtful, he’d have to explain to them why he was there and really all I have to do is say he tried to hurt me and you stepped in. He will assume that Taylor and Isaac would back that story and he has no proof that the bruising on my neck came from you.”
He paused and looked at me. “That was a well thought out answer…”
I smiled at him. “I’ve had a few hours and really he’s just going to tuck tail and run. He’s not use to men standing up for me.”
“I would do it for anyone, not just him. What upset you besides the fact he slid the pictures under the door?”
“He said at least Simon knew how to make me behave, whether it was a unable to sit down or bringing other men in. The threesome with Damien hadn’t been long when he kicked me out, I couldn’t talk about it to them and I never have. The only ones that knew about that are you, me, and Nicole.”
“Nicole?” he asked.
“We were discussing sex lives, she asked if I’d ever been in one with two men. But, I didn’t give her details of who just that I had and it wasn’t pleasant. Not even Abigail knows about that, the only other people that would know are Simon and Damien.”
“You haven’t really said anything about him, did his texts stop?”
“From him yes, Damien has sent a few more but nothing bad. Just asking how I was, if I remembered. I would imagine that Simon is the one asking him too.”
“Probably. We can change your number again.”
“I’ll just ignore them. Unless they get threatening of which I’ll be calling the police.”
We finished dinner and as we curled up to watch TV for a bit I actually stopped him.
“I think maybe your mom is right.”
“About?”
“She told me I made the right decision to come to her, that I made the right decision to stay with you. I also think she’s right that maybe a professional is needed. I can’t always be at the studio, I can’t always have you right beside me to make sure I don’t do anything stupid.”
“You have made a lot of good decisions, just because they tell you they are bad doesn’t mean they are right. Would you prefer a female?”
“Yes. Because a lot of what Simon did was sex related and well, a lot of my past has that. I think a female would have a better chance of breaking through.”
“I agree. We’ll find the right one and set up an appointment. But, you can always be at the studio and you can always be right beside me. I don’t mind either of those.”
“Of course not, still think about me every time you sit at your desk?”
“In fact, I do. You are so evil for that by the way.”
I laid my head on his chest. “I could always do a lot more, ever had sex on a drum set?”
“No…have you?”
“Many times, may have to break in a few sets.”
“You realize if we get caught they’ll skin us both alive?”
“They aren’t always there.”
I felt him kiss my forehead. “We could buy you a set to keep there.”
“Na, I can use yours.”
“You’re not left handed. How can you play left handed?”
“It’s how I learned, Sierra actually taught me some. She’s left handed.”
“You ever going to talk to her too?”
“I don’t know.”
“Okay, well TV or…?”
I didn’t need to fill in the rest of that sentence and while TV was okay, the other option was far more fun. Added, it was drawing him out of the vanilla bubble!