Chapter 3 - Where Will He Go?
October 20, 2010
That first night had me getting up every few hours to calm him back down after some interruption. It was alarming that he didn't sleep well at all. It didn't get any better the second night either.
Last night, after the first time he woke up, I had laid down beside him and, well, I was still here come daylight.
He was clinging to my shirt in his sleep, his head resting on my shoulder and my arm behind him. He was curled up beside me and sound asleep.
Ellen was standing beside the bed changing one of the smaller bags.
"He slept better with you there," Ellen whispered.
I nodded slightly. "I just fell asleep after he woke up the first time."
"He slept, that's important. I added your normal breakfast but I added some eggs for him. I also have the broth but he tolerated the applesauce well. If the eggs do well I'll ask for a soft tray for lunch. But go slow."
"Will do."
It was still another hour before his head even moved slightly and then I could see the flush of color spread across his cheeks.
"Sorry," he mumbled.
"Nothing to be sorry for. Did you sleep better with me closer?"
He nodded. "I did."
"Then it's fine. Ellen will be bringing breakfast soon."
His head kinda sunk back down to my chest and I chuckled. Apparently he was not a morning person.
Eventually, he did get up. He was doing better with the standing but I still shadowed him to the bathroom and back, because sometimes he stumbled.
By the time the bathroom and bandage change routine was complete Ellen was bringing in the trays. She checked on a few of the open places and his privates before she left us to eat.
"I got eggs!"
"Yep. Still, slow."
I swore he rolled his gorgeous eyes at me. But I ignored it and helped him when he needed it. He was doing better with utensils but the broth and heavier cups were a bit shaky still.
He kept eying the sausage on my plate though and I chuckled. "I would sneak you a bite but if it made you sick Ellen would have my ass."
"It's okay."
His voice still sounded rough and dry, so I filled up the water bottle and sat it on the table where he could reach it. It has improved over the last few days.
The early part of the morning was spent just being lazy. I helped him to and from the bathroom, letting him rest for the most part.
His lunch tray arrived with tea, mashed potatoes, pureed green beans and what could be ham. It looked like mush to me and I wasn't about to try it. He went slow and stopped when he felt full.
He seemed to tolerate the food and it was a good sign. When Ellen came to pick up the used trays she sat the jello on his table and then looked at me.
"Jody is here. She and I need to speak to you. Mind stepping outside?"
"Cas?"
"I'll be fine," he said.
I helped with the trays and stepped out with her. Jody was just down the hallway speaking to Garth and Charlie and I had to wait.
"Ellen, what's his long term prognosis?"
She looked over his chart and then to me. "I don't see why he couldn't make a full recovery. His blood work is decent, I've seen improvements on the bruises and some deepening but that's expected. He's not indicating any problems going to the bathroom. A bowel movement may change that, which is another reason for the soft stuff. He hasn't mentioned heats and I'll ask about those later because his weight is low so I suspect he isn't having them. Mentally, I can't say. He seems okay but we know how that can go."
"Yeah."
I'd seen several victims do remarkably well in the hospital and then turn downhill after going home. Some even died. So, I knew it could be a struggle there.
Jody came up when she excused Garth and Charlie.
"What's the word?"
"Alastair hasn't said much else but we still want you here. Bobby and Donna agree to that. We would like for you to explore what he'll tell you. But honestly, I think it might be best if myself or another officer were there too. He feels close to you and I don't want that scumbag's team to use that against us."
"Understandable."
"We do have another problem. Castiel has no family that Charlie can locate. Not aunts, uncles or cousins. I've reached out to child services but he's no longer qualified as a child. He's over eighteen. I'm trying to secure some type of housing or safe place for when they release him. I know it'll be a week or so, but I don't want him released only to be homeless."
I nodded because I suspected this would happen. He wasn't under 18, and even if he was, CPS can only do so much. He needed a stable home now.
"What about the others?"
"Charlie found family members. Most will go to them. Two are adults by law and have chosen to leave the hospital. But left contact information. Two have vanished and we expected them too."
I turned and glanced at Cas through the window. He was picking at the blanket absent-mindedly. He needed a stable place, a place he felt safe in and was wanted.
"He can come to my house. He'll be safe from that bastard and I can take care of him until he's more stable."
Ellen and Jody both blinked at me, staring as if I had three heads.
"What?"
"Is that a wise idea? He's already showing signs of being attached to you. It may become very hard on him to leave once things are safe," Ellen said.
I glanced back at him. Truthfully, I felt some pull to him. After all, this was not a common occurrence after we saved victims. Sure, an alpha may hang around for a few hours until things are cleared but never overnight for several days and never in the same bed.
Jody held up her hand before I could say anything. "Dean, you have acted weird with this one. Is there something going on?"
"I'm not honestly sure. I feel...close. It's hard to explain and it may simply be because of how his last few years have been. But he trusts me. We can't put him on the street and safe houses are not always that safe. You know that Jody."
Jody nodded. "He has a point. But we worry."
"I know. Was that the reason you needed to talk to me or was there more?"
"That was it. But I guess you solved the problem pretty quickly. You'll need some time off though, he shouldn't be left totally alone for a bit," Ellen explained.
Jody waved her hand. "He's on protective duty. I can't do it round the clock but I can do a normal shift time. You also have vacation days you haven't taken."
"We can cover the time I need to help him somehow."
Ellen still seemed skeptical but eventually relented. The other options meant he was homeless and alone or in some possible safe house alone. With that settled they had a better idea of what kind of home care he would receive. It would factor into his medical plan. I returned to the room and sat down in the chair.
"Everything okay? You seemed... tense," he said.
His voice wasn't as gravely but still had that deep timber to it. I smiled at him. "It's fine."
His hands fiddled with the blanket at his waist, picking at a string that was loose.
"Alpha... can... I mean, would you..." he paused. "I would... I'm just..."
"Castiel. What is it you would like to ask?"
His head dipped down."I really liked when you held me. Could you...would you...maybe do it again?"
"Is that what you want?"
He nodded and I leaned over and patted his knee. "We can. Let me change from these jeans though, they could be rough on you. Also, you may want to hit the bathroom so once you're comfy, you don't have to get right back up."
I saw the brief little smile that flitted across his face before he began to shuffle out from under the cover. I walked with him to the door and while he did his business I swapped my jeans for my flannel pajamas pants. Once he was back, he indicated his bandages needed to be checked, which was quick.
"Do you want the same position from the floor?"
"I um...maybe? It's, um...your scent."
"My scent?" I questioned.
"Clears my head, takes away the bad images."
"Okay, that sounds like a chest to chest position would be best."
I sat down first and scooted to the center and then held my arms out, to which he practically fell into. He seemed to want contact so much, whether it be a hand or arm or some other spot. It took a bit of maneuvering to get myself and Cas adjusted and to get the blanket over his back, since the gown wasn't covering everything.
"Is this okay? It's not hurting your legs or knees?"
"I'm okay, Alpha."
He seemed to gravitate to my neck and I chuckled. "What is it about my scent that is so great? It doesn't seem to be that perfect to me."
I could feel his body relaxing though I heard a soft inhale. "Smells like safety. Smells like home."
I was too shocked to answer and by the time the shock wore off his breathing was even and shallow. Home. Not many people ever said that about me and Sammy was pretty much it. He'd said that when our parents died and he hadn't even presented yet. To most I was a mixture of earthy smells like fresh grass or pine needles. I could have a burnt wood scent if I was upset, and angry I had something close to ash.
Since his shower I hadn't really tried to scent him, but the few sniffs I had gotten still had acidic undertones. Yet, at this moment, there was the same acidic scent but underlying that was something else. Something with a sweeter scent. I just couldn't make it out yet. I knew it was there, just not as strong as I needed to identify it.
He shifted slightly and I put my arms around him and held him tightly. His nose brushed against my neck and I could feel the air move as he breathed.
The TV in the room was on but I was barely watching it. My thoughts drifted to what he would need and how best to get those needs met. Would he feel welcomed?
My occasional glances at the TV showed some type of woodworking program, but I barely focused and even napped myself.
Around three Ellen came in with new IV bags and she paused when she realized how we were positioned. The slight smile she had soured quickly to a scowl. "Do I need to scold you, Dean?"
I moved my head to face her. "I am fully clothed and he is as decent as the gown allows. Also why he's covered. Nothing indecent is going on."
She motioned to us. "And you can't cuddle in any other position? There are so many to choose from."
"He wanted the scent and this was and is the best for that. His head rests right near the gland. He asked for the cuddles and said I smelled safe and like home."
She blinked and her brow rose but she didn't say anything else. Instead she changed the bags, added a new antibiotic one and even gave him pain medication.
"I'm a little concerned by the home comment. But, if he will sleep and not have nightmares then let him. It will do wonders for healing. But, you may want to lie back so his legs don't cramp or even turn to your side, but be mindful of the IV."
"I will."
She headed out and I laid where we were, his steady breathing lulling me to take another nap.
He woke me up around four when he shifted in my lap, the movement made me think he was falling. My arms tightened around him and I heard a deep sigh.
"Cas? You okay?"
"Yes, Alpha."
I moved the bed back more and tapped his thighs. "Straighten up some. I'm sure your legs are cramping."
He complied and eventually we ended up on our sides, the hand with his IV was laying on my side, the line running behind me. He seemed to be mostly awake.
"How are you feeling?"
"Groggy."
"Dr. Harvelle gave you some more pain medicine. That could be it."
He shifted closer and was back asleep before long. But sleep was good, especially if he felt safe. He wasn't asleep long though; he had to go to the bathroom. I assisted with making sure he didn't fall but he was walking better. By the time he was done it was time for Ellen to check vitals and bandages, changing them for fresh ones. He didn't seem to mind that I was present for any of it though.
Once she was done she mentioned dinner and then headed out. I sat down on the side of the bed.
"I know this is probably a topic you'd rather not discuss. I know what happened to your mom and dad, but are there any other relatives you may have? Charlie found your name but no other relatives."
His eyes shifted down and to the side. "My mom and dad had family members but they were estranged and had been my whole life. I have no idea if anyone was left or if they would care about me."
It was true that no one had reported him missing in all these years. No family had come forward either to claim the bodies of his parents. It was really sad. I couldn't imagine having family and not caring even a little.
"Alpha?"
I kinda liked when he called me that. "Yes?"
"What happens to me now? No one will take me in after this and the hospital won't keep me."
I laid my hand on his knee. "If you are comfortable with it, you'll come home with me. If, however, you are not okay with that then we will set you up in a safe house."
"With you?" He questioned.
"Yes. I have more than enough space. You'll only have to heal and maybe deal with my younger brother when he comes home from college. He usually comes home during breaks."
"I don't deserve an alpha like you."
I moved my hand to lift his chin up gently. "You didn't deserve what happened to you or how they've treated you. You deserve to be healthy and happy. I won't make you come home with me because you aren't my property. You are a human being that deserves respect, and to make their own choices. If you don't want to, I'll make sure you're safe."
His brow furrowed. "You bought me, Alpha. Did you not really want me?"
Fuck! Shit! I was afraid of this, that he would think the purchase was real. That his compliance was because he didn't want me to be angry or upset with him.
"Castiel... that was part of our raid on the warehouse. Someone had to be bought so that we could breach and arrest them. Selling you is illegal, it's not supposed to happen."
He blinked and it was clear he was confused about this.
"So...you didn't buy me? He still...oh, God. He's gonna be so mad."
"He? You mean Alastair?"
"No. Master Michael. He'll be... I have to... Oh God..."
"Cas, calm down. It's okay. You're safe here, remember?"
Despite the words it did nothing to stop the spiral, not even my wrist under his nose helped. It was Ellen, who put something in the IV that seemed to just knock him right out.
"What the hell, Dean?"
She checked his vitals once more before leveling her eyes to look at me.
"I asked if he knew of any relatives, he didn't. But he asked where he would go. I tried to explain that he would have a choice between my place or a safe house. He thinks I own him. When I said I didn't he panicked. But he mentioned Michael-- we didn't arrest anyone by that name..."
She frowned. "It was probably better to let him assume that, Dean."
"Ellen, I don't own him. No one does."
"But he doesn't understand that yet. This will keep him asleep for an hour or so, maybe you should let Garth sit with him for a bit. You've been in this room for days and you need a break too."
"And if I'm not here when he wakes up?"
"He needs to process some things alone. Maybe this is one of those things. Worse case, Garth can call you. You don't have to go far or stay gone. But get out a bit."
I couldn't argue with her. She could very well kick me out and it seems she was. So I got my phone and wallet and stepped out. Garth was already sitting by the door.
"Why are you already here?"
He glanced at me for a second and then attacked, the hug nearly taking my breath away. He knew I wasn't a hugger but damn, he was.
"I checked when I heard Ellen shout. Wasn't sure if this was a physical issue or not. I heard her. I'll watch him Dean, I won't let anyone in the room but Ellen and you."
"I wish I knew how to really help."
He grinned. "You are doing more than anyone else ever has. He's not used to that."
"True. Hey, did Jody mention anyone by the name of Michael?"
"Not that I recall. Why?"
"He mentioned a Michael just now. I'm going to head down to the cafeteria and call Jody. If you need me, call."
"Will do."
I headed down and got coffee and a slice of their pie. I then found a quiet corner and called Jody.
"What's up?"
"He freaked when he realized the sale wasn't real. Not a good sign. But he said Master Michael will be mad. Does Alastair use that as an alias?"
"Let me look, but I'm pretty sure it's a no."
I could hear movements on her end, papers rustling, keys clacking, even a curse as something seemed to fall.
"He does not. However, one of the other victims was terrified of Master Michael. She was only sixteen and had been homeless before she was pulled in. She wouldn't talk about him much. Castiel said the same thing?"
"He seemed very upset that I wasn't his owner and the purchase wasn't real. It's almost like this Michael person was the one he felt he belonged to. Could Alastair have sold me someone else's property? After all, his price was extremely low."
I heard tapping and knew it was her nails on the desk; I'd seen it many times as she thought about something.
"Possible."
"He freaked, Jody. I'm worried I ruined his trust in me. Ellen said it may have been better if he believed I owned him."
"Do you feel like that's the right thing to do?"
"No. I want him to trust me and not do things because he assumes I'll hurt him if he doesn't."
"Then maybe you need to level with him now. It's been a few days and you can tell him anything needed."
"Yeah... maybe. I'll see what his mindset is when I get back. Ellen kicked me out for a bit."
"You'll survive."
"I'm not sure. I feel... off. Like I'm barely even eating the pie Jody!"
"How...off?"
"Just... off... maybe I should get this down and get back to the floor at least."
"Perhaps. I'll message you if we find anything about this Michael."
"Alright."
We hung up and I inhaled the rest, even though I didn't taste it much. I just felt antsy and nervous, which was unusual. I tossed the trash and headed back up. I was taking the stairs when Garth called, I picked up immediately. "Talk."
"Get back."
"Almost there."
I hung up and began to skip steps, making it to the third floor in no time. I ran down the hallway despite the pissed off looks from patients and staff alike. Garth was outside the door but I could hear the screams.
"What the fuck happened?!"
"He just woke up screaming. Ellen doesn't want to give him anything else."
I went in and Ellen was on her knees in front of him on the floor. Castiel's eyes were back to the golden hues and I barely had time to get close before he moved, pushing past Ellen as if she were a feather
For someone who still was unstable walking he sure made it to me quickly, but he was babbling incoherently now. At least he wasn't screaming anymore.
"Ellen? You okay?"
She nodded. "Doctor Fluentes was watching him and he just started screaming. She didn't want to come in because she'd been with an alpha client before."
Castiel was clutching onto the back of my shirt and trembling. I couldn't make out everything he was saying, but 'sorry' and 'alpha' seemed to be clear enough. I put my arms around him and tightened them.
It gave me a moment to look around the room. The IV was out again, laying on the floor dripping saline into the tile. Everything else was where I'd left it.
I could smell the acidic smell rolling off of him in waves."I've got you, Cas. You're okay. You're safe."
Ellen got up and cleaned up the small mess, turned off the machines that were still beeping and even removed the IV lines. She would need clean ones anyway.
"Is he bleeding anywhere?" I asked.
"His arm, but it's not bad. No rush on that, let him calm down first. I still want this IV but I'll give him a break for the moment."
I nodded my head and kept my hands moving on his back gently. I could feel him press his face to my neck after he stopped babbling words.
"Why don't we sit down? I know you must be getting tired."
He clung tighter to me, almost like he was afraid I would leave. I didn't want to promise I wouldn't, because I may have to. I would lift him up but that meant my hands were on his butt and I wasn't comfortable with that, not right now. So, we stood here in the middle of the room.
"Alpha..."
"Muhum, do you feel better now?"
"You weren't here..."
"Ellen felt it was best for me to get some air. I hadn't left the hospital. I think she felt I upset you and that you needed some time alone. But I can feel you getting tired; your body is slumping on me. Let's move to the bed and get you off these legs."
He finally gave in and moved with me to the bed, where I didn't question it, just sat down and guided him into my lap. I had him sit sideways so we could talk though. And it didn't look inappropriate.
"Does your arm need attending too?"
He held it up and frowned. There was a line of dried blood running down his arm. I was able to reach the tray though and got it cleaned up quickly.
"You were dreaming again?" I asked.
"Yes."
"Do you have these bad dreams often?"
He nodded. "It was less there; we didn't sleep much."
"And here?"
His eyes cast down and away from me but he just kinda shrugged.
"Castiel, I think you and I need to talk about this situation. Is that something you'd like to do?"
"Doesn't matter. Once they release me he'll just find me."
"That's not what we want."
"He owns me. He paid a lot for me. He's not going to forget about me."
I turned his head gently because he was looking away.
"I won't let him."
Just the idea of someone else keeping him hostage was causing my blood to heat up. Let alone the idea of him being caged again, locked away like some forgotten child. He didn't respond to me and I knew I needed to be completely honest with him. I needed to pull some trust my way.
"Alphas, or even other sub-genders, don't normally stick around after raids with the victims. We do interviews, find witnesses, interview the perps and that's the extent of it. But after I got you to Dr. Harvelle I couldn't get you out of my head. I wondered if you were alright, if Charlie had found your name, why you were there. I've... never had this happen before."
He was focused on me now, something I really liked.
"I was going to check in after the interviews, but you had a bit of a panic attack and I was able to calm you. I know sometimes rescued omegas attach onto a scent that comforted them at that moment."
He slowly blinked but while I felt a slight pull away, I didn't let him go. Held him close to me.
"Buying and selling other humans is illegal, and it applies to anyone. You were not a toddler when they took you. I'm sure you know that the things they did were wrong. Holding you captive, the metal cage that can't be removed, the abuse. None of that was legal. No one owns you."
"My parents..."
"Well, maybe they do. But they can't even sell you, Castiel. You're theirs because you're their son, their child. Not because you were bought and paid for. I didn't buy you, that was all so that my Commanding Officer could raid the building. We needed a sale on tape to prove they were doing it. But that doesn't mean you belong to anyone else either. You don't."
He nodded but I was certain he didn't believe me.
"I was originally staying a bit but the Commanding Officer called and said that Alastair had made some threats. They weren't direct, but it was enough for her to station me here with you."
"Is that..."
The panic was rising and I laid my hand over his lips. "No. Originally, maybe. But there is something about you. I can't place my finger on it. But I want to protect you, to make you see that everyone is not like them. I'm sorry about earlier. It wasn't explained well and it upset you."
"What happens now?"
"You get better and stop ripping these IVs out. When you are released you still have the choice between a safe house and mine. That will be your decision."
He nodded and then laid his head on my shoulder. If I had to guess, he would choose my house.
"She has to put the IV back, doesn't she?"
"Yes."
It grew quiet and he just laid against me. My arms around him, holding him here.
"Alpha?"
I glanced down. "You know you don't have to call me that."
"It's...easier. Does it bother you?"
"No. If it's easier for you, that's okay."
He was quiet for a moment. "What if I...I mean...what happens if I..."
I could feel a slight tremor in his body and tightened my hold.
"It's okay to ask whatever you need to."
"I'm not sure I can make my own choices...what happens if I can't?"
I took a moment to let that question sink in. Castiel had never had the chance to make his own choices. He was still following his parents' rules and they would tell him what to do, and then he was under those monsters where you weren't given choices. It was a good question, one I didn't have a good answer to.
"I'm not sure. I can ask Dr. Fuentes if she has an opinion. I know that some previous victims needed therapy and someone to help them for a while. Most used social services to some degree. But I can ask her and see if she has a recommendation."
"Okay."
"You think it's okay to let Ellen put a new IV in now or do you need to take some more time?"
"Yes, I'm good now."
He chose the bathroom first and then got situated on the bed, but he still seemed off. I went and got Ellen and she came back in.
It was a quick process to start a new IV and get it going with new bags of saline. Once she headed out I settled in the chair, thinking he may need some space but maybe not me out of the room.
He just seemed to sit there quietly.
"Castiel, is something wrong?"
He shook his head. "You said you were stationed with me?"
"I did. My Commanding Officer Jody Mills pulled me from interviews or other police work to be here. Even though I was already here with you."
He glanced at me. "Threats?"
"They were not directed at you specifically. Garth and Benny have been on the floor a lot watching everyone."
"But you're not here...just for that?"
"No. You stir something in me. I can't figure out what or why, but there is this feeling that I am where I need to be. I had that feeling before she spoke to me. I was prepared to take time off."
I swore I saw a ghost of a smile before he leaned back, relaxing a bit more.
"Promise to stay?"
I smiled back at him. "If you fall asleep, I won't leave. I'll only leave the room if you are awake and aware that I have. Sleep if you need to, dinner should be soon."
He nodded but never fell asleep. Dinner came and went and he ate really well. After that I assisted with a shower for him and bandage changes. Once he was settled I showered myself.
He was still awake until I had him scoot over and laid down with him. It took just a smile and the words came out for him to cuddle up close, and tuck himself in beside me. Only then did his eyes close and sleep take over.