Chapter 13 - One Year
October 17, 2011; Monday
The sun was already up when I opened my eyes to the dark mop of hair. I smiled to myself as Cas was sound asleep still. Last night had been a very good night and it was late when we fell asleep.
I could feel his warm breath caress my chest, one hand was settled on my abdomen, one leg was slung over mine. I pulled him a little closer and kissed the top of his head, but didn't make any attempt to wake him up.
I was off today by request. I'd returned to work in early August. It had been a very big adjustment for us both. The first few weeks were hard and I was thankful that Jody worked with us and understood. She gave me leeway in leaving early or missing a day if needed. Of course, most officers got that leeway in mating situations as well.
Cas hadn't adjusted to being alone quickly, the time he was alone is what upset him. In his words it gave him time to think and process everything that had happened in his life. To realize exactly what his parents had cost him, what those assholes had cost him. They were the hardest days in therapy so far. He still wouldn't go alone.
But, thanks to Mrs. Moseley he had hobbies, a short term plan, and the idea that he wanted to be as normal as possible.
He had a knack for gardening and had started a small one back in spring, it had helped when I returned to work but not enough. He did want to explore more about gardening and potentially have a larger one next year.
He had enrolled in a general education program, since he couldn't go to a public school. He had scored really high on the initial test in most subjects but social studies and history, which we both expected to be low. Sam and Charlie were helping him fill in gaps and learn what they failed to teach him. He had studies to do and was improving daily.
When he moved I looked down and wondrous blue eyes looked back at me, even if they were a little sleepy looking. "Good morning, Sunshine."
"Morning, Alpha."
Cas fully understood that he was allowed to call me any name he wanted. He still preferred Alpha to anything else. Mrs. Moseley said he could change once he was better mentally, but I didn't mind the name and I didn't push him to use Dean or anything else.
"Sleep well?"
He smiled slightly. "I did but I don't want to get up."
"Who says you have to?"
His brow rose a bit. "My bladder for one. I am a little hungry too."
I chuckled. "Fine."
"It's Monday, you aren't at work."
"No, I requested today and tomorrow off."
Again that brow rose but this time he smirked too. "So, we really don't have to leave the bed?"
I laughed at that. "No, Sunshine. Not if you don't want to. But, was last night not enough for you?"
He pressed his lips to my rib cage. "It was but nothing stops us from doing more later on."
I had assumed that with his background sex would not be something he wanted often. But, showing him how sex was supposed to be and how it was meant to be a good thing had brought out the nymph in him. It wasn't like every day, but it was far more frequent than I had expected. Not that I was complaining one bit!
Eventually, bladders won and we both had to get up. He requested pancakes and eggs and that's what I fixed. While I cooked those he cut up fresh strawberries and washed some blueberries as well.
"I wonder if these are hard to grow, we eat a lot of them," he mused.
"You can always research and see. I can't imagine they would be super hard."
"I'll add it to my list of items to research. It'll keep me occupied next week."
I finished cooking the pancakes and we had breakfast at the table. I had considered doing something big today, but had chosen instead to see what Cas may want to do.
"Is there anything you want to do today, besides stay in bed, you little nymph."
"I didn't think you'd be at home today, was just going to study and maybe cut the grass in the backyard."
One of his rules was he couldn't be in the front yard alone. While Alastair was dead and we had seen his body to prove it, Asmodeus was not. Jody and even the federal government felt that he was not in danger but I wasn't taking any chances for the moment.
"Or we could do something else. We don't have to stay home."
"Alpha..."
"You don't remember what today is, do you?"
He finished the last of his pancakes. "I do. I don't really remember much from this day last year but it's the date you got me out. I didn't think it was a celebratory occasion though."
I got his hand and kissed the back of it. "It's the day I met you, the day you changed my life. I didn't go in expecting to find a mate but it's what I found. We don't have to celebrate it, but I wanted to be here today. Cas, it's the day you were set free too. I want us to just be together, whatever that looks like. We don't have to stay home. We can do anything you want to do."
He tilted his hand but his hand moved to get mine. "The only thing I would want is to be with you."
"That can be fully arranged, after we clean up the dishes."
He laughed but we did clean up right quick and then he got my hand and led me back to the bedroom.
"Seriously? You weren't kidding about being in bed all day?"
He looked at me. "Bath. We don't normally have time to sit and enjoy it."
"That sounds like a great idea. I still need to look into a hot tub or something."
"You've mentioned that for months, Alpha."
"I know, eventually... one day."
He laid out some clean clothes before we drew the water and settled in. His back against my chest, he relaxed back. I wrapped my arms around him and held him in the hot water. It was very nice to just sit and relax, not worry about work or anything else.
A long time passed before he sighed. "Alpha?"
I kissed the side of his neck. "Yes, Sunshine?"
"I should have a heat next week, will Jody be fine letting you off for that too?"
"Yes, she's already aware and she's aware it may need to change, because the one in July was a bit later."
I eased my hold when he moved, he turned so he could face me. "It may not be a full week either."
"It may not but the last one was a week and the one before, I went with a week."
I could see the hesitation on his features, the slight crinkle by the eyes, the flickering movements of his eyes as well. Even the way he wouldn't look directly at me. "Is there something wrong, Sweetheart?"
"No."
I reached up and gently turned his head to me. "Then what's on your mind? You're hesitating with something. Last time that happened, I found you curled up in the spare room closet. I don't want to find you there again."
That had been rough. My first week back and he didn't want to tell me the bad thoughts that plagued him during the day time when I wasn't here.
"I... um... I've had time to think about things, obviously. I think..."
He only stopped because my phone began to ring in the other room, but I made no effort to get up to get it. Jody wouldn't call me in for anything today and she knew if it was directly related to Cas.
"Today is for us, everyone else can take a back seat. You can finish, what did you think about?"
"I think I do want your bite."
I stared for several moments, the concept of bites hadn't been discussed much beyond him saying no. But that was back in March.
"You're sure?"
"Yes. I talked to Mrs. Moseley last week while you were at work. It was a phone call. I wasn't conflicted but I didn't understand why I didn't want that ever before. But, now? I wanted it so much in July, but I didn't know how to ask and consent is important."
"It is important. Is that what you want? A mating bite?"
"Yes. I've never felt this way with anyone, not even my parents. I didn't know what it meant or how to explain it."
"And now?"
He turned completely around in the tub, kneeled right there in front of me. He really was gorgeous.
"I know that the feeling is love. I know that you are my alpha. That I wouldn't be here without you. I know that I love you, Dean."
It was hard to describe how I felt. Both in hearing those words and my name. It was the first time for both. But I cupped his face and brought him in for a slow deep kiss.
"I love you, Castiel. If you want to trade bites, we certainly will. I can't even describe how hearing my name coming from you feels. Just know you don't have to continue using it."
"I never knew what love was until you. Is it possible for that bite on the next heat?"
"Yes, it's possible. I couldn't think of a better thing to do. I've wanted to tell you I love you for so long I just wasn't sure how you felt about that."
I didn't stop him from moving, actually helped him settle in my lap, the tub not quite big enough for this, but I didn't mind the press of his thighs against mine, or how close our dicks were to one another either. This wasn't sexual but emotional and I needed and craved his body against mine.
Eventually, we both conceded this wasn't a good position. So I drained the tub and we moved to the bed. It was much easier to cuddle and enjoy that closeness without water and confines.
"Dean?"
"Mmm, I'll never get tired of that. I'm still awake though."
"Mrs. Moseley also suggested I share some other things."
I ran my fingers absently through his hair, "Okay."
He tilted his head up so I could see his face. "I do want pups. But, not right now. She recommended I talk to a doctor about a birth control method. She also said to talk to you about that. I'm not sure how long though."
I kissed his forehead. "We can set up an appointment with the doctor this week, it may not take effect before your heat and we can use precautions. I'm okay waiting on pups, I wasn't sure what you wanted in that aspect."
"It scares me, but I know that how my parents raised me is not right. Sam has made me see that you took care of him and you two love one another, as family. Like you do Jody and Ellen."
"Yes, they are family. Even if not by blood." I rubbed his arm. "You won't be like them, Castiel. I'll make sure of that."
"She said I needed more healing too."
"I agree with her. Besides, we're both young. We should live a little without little feet around."
"I want to decide what my future holds as well. Career wise. I'm not sure what to do. But, I know I want something."
I kissed him again. "You'll find it. You need to experience life like you should have. I'll be supportive no matter what you choose."
"Thank you, Alpha."
I wondered if he would revert back to Alpha. But, honestly, I liked either way. As much as I wanted to spend the day doing things, this was the best way.
We did end up staying in bed all day, only getting up for the bathroom and food. Didn't even bother with clothes either, because honestly that close contact is what we both craved.
We talked about the future. Potential careers he may be interested in, some being way more ambitious than others. Scientist was among the top ambitious ones and his most ridiculous one was babysitting. It was good that he wasn't limiting his options though.
He said he wanted to take Mrs. Moseley up on the offer of a group therapy session at some point. I wouldn't be allowed in those because they were for victims of abuse only. She also wanted him to try solo trips to her in the future but he didn't feel comfortable with that yet.
It was the best way to spend the day and I hoped we got many more in our future.