Exiled.
I never believed I would be exiled from my pack and told never to return. I never believed that it would be my own father who did this to me.
He’d barely given me time to pack a bag and say goodbye to my little brother. I think he only allowed that because Sam would never forgive him for not allowing it. I’d only grabbed what was truly important, various clothes, photos, and personal effects that I had to have. I also made sure I took the car, a black 1967 Chevy Impala. He would not keep something I’d restored multiple times already.
As I drove out of the area, I fought back the tears that threatened for form. I was leaving behind the only home I’d ever known. I was leaving behind my brother, my friends, and my pack. My heart was breaking from this, from the words my father spoke.
“You are exiled! I never want to see you on pack territory ever again. Get your shit and go.”
I stopped the car at the edge of the pack territory. I had no idea what laid beyond, I’d never taken that step. Everything I’d ever wanted or needed had been here. I heard a low rustle to the side and turned, seeing vibrant golden eyes looking at me from the woods.
I put the car in park and got out.
“Sammy.”
He came sauntering out of the woods, the silver patches of his fur catching the moonlight and causing it to shimmer, the golden brown looking much deeper in the dark. His tail swished anxiously, back and forth with quick flips. His ears were straight up, alert for anyone that may approach us. His nose felt cold against my arm as he nudged it.
“Where will you go, Dean?”
I could hear his question loud and clear, something our father didn’t know we could do. I was a shifter like Sammy, but I couldn’t shift. He was the youngest in the several generations that had shifted at fourteen.
“I don’t know, Sammy. But I’ll come back for you, I promise. I’m not going to leave you here with him.”
“I’m not worried about me, Dean. Will you be okay? What will you do?”
“I’m your big brother. I’ll be fine, Sammy. Look after Bobby for me. Please let them know I want so badly to say goodbye to them, but he won’t let me.”
He nuzzled against my shoulder and I buried my head in his soft fur. For a wolf, he was pretty small. He would get a bit larger as he grew up. I was going to miss watching that.
“I’m going to miss you, Sammy. I’ll keep my phone number and if I have to change it, I’ll let you know. I’ll keep in touch.”
He nuzzled a little more before he licked my face.
“Gross.”
I swore he laughed. “I’ll miss you, Dean.”
“Be good, Sam. You finish school and be sure to ace those tests. You gotta be smart.”
He nuzzled close and we stayed this way for a long time. I saw his ears perk up straight.
“Dad’s coming. You should go before he gets here. Be safe, Dean. I love you.”
“I love you, Sammy.”
I gave him one last wolf hug before I got in the car and left, watching him standing there in the middle of the road broke my heart all over again. I’d never admit to the tears that fell, never admit to the hours I cried after leaving.
I would come back for him. I wouldn’t leave him.
The days blurred together, but finding a new home was not easy. The Winchester pack territory had been established for generations and had never had any major issues with nearby towns or their inhabitants. Those towns knew about us, they knew what we were and most of the time what most of the shifters looked like. They supported businesses owned by shifters and didn’t bother us. Sometimes there were disputes, but they were always handled with grace.
My father had said it was like this everywhere. That the law had made it illegal to harm shifters without cause, that shifters were welcomed and at times even worshiped by the towns around them. I’d believed him because he’s my father and he loves us. He had no reason to lie to us. I assumed then when he made me leave that I would be able to find another pack within a reasonable distance away that would accept me. I had skills that I could use to help any pack.
Yet I found that around us, there were no packs. I went down to Texas and had my first taste of how the real world saw shifters. I hadn’t mentioned that I was a shifter, it wasn’t something I had to disclose and without a blood test no one would know. The town’s people when I asked were sure to talk about the unholy and unnatural shifters that occupied a patch of land outside town. How they were mindless wolves with no capability of rational or compassionate thoughts. They did not support and certainly didn’t worship any shifter.
It took me a week to find the pack they mentioned, which was a small pack and they were all fearful of outsiders. Their leader and pack alpha invited me in because he could smell the shifter in me, but understood I couldn’t shift. When I asked why they were so afraid to leave the land they told me tales of raids by law enforcers looking for scapegoats. That disputes had led to deaths on both sides, which caused more distress between them and the town’s people. They were not limited by local law to the specific area they were currently living in. They were here because no one would visit businesses owned by shifters. Therefore, they were forced on a smaller track of land so they could survive on less money. They allowed me just two days to stay and I paid them for the food and shelter they provided by repairing two of the vehicles they owned.
I’d also told them about the Winchester pack, without saying how I was related. They needed an area where shifters were supported. The leader didn’t tell me if he would move his pack or not, but hopefully he did.
I left Texas after just a week, traveled alone on I-10 until I met a shifter named Benny in Louisiana. Benny lived deep in the bayou surrounded by swamp lands and alligators. The scene around his home turf was dramatically different from what I was used to. I was used to open woods and plenty of running space, whereas his home was open swamp land and running space was limited. Benny was full of stories. His pack had fought in and had observed wars; it was ultimately an internal war between two leaders that tore the pack apart. He was sad about the loss of his pack, and he told me that he and his mate, Andrea, had planned to start their own pack here in the bayou. Sadly, before they could she got sick and died. He talked a lot about her. It was very clear that he loved her deeply.
Benny was fascinating and had a lot more tales, added he was easy on the eyes too. But Benny wasn’t looking for a pack or long-term relationship. He was content and happy with the occasional company, but that was all. As much as I enjoyed my time here, the swamp was not my idea of home either. It lacked the warm breeze with smells of trees and warm earth. I spent three weeks with him, before moving on to the east coast.
Florida and Georgia were hot as hell and overall alright. But again I found that the towns didn’t support shifters. I was even more confused on where my father’s delusional beliefs were coming from, because he’d said every place and so far I hadn’t seen that. Packs in these states refused to allow me any time with their pack because I couldn’t shift. I thought that was bullshit because they had the ability to smell that I was indeed a shifter, but they refused. They were unwelcoming toward me, and the towns were as unwelcoming to them.
The farther north I went, it seemed to get worse and not better. As the summer months began to wind down I was getting more worried. Anytime I talked with Sammy I made sure to be positive, to say I was doing well. If he didn’t believe me, he didn’t call me out for it. Honestly, I wasn’t doing well. I worked odd jobs and at one point in New York did some things I wasn’t proud of because I had to. It meant a lot of peanut butter sandwiches and nights in my car.
I was desperate and alone but I knew I couldn’t return to Winchester territory. My Dad wouldn’t allow it and even Sam had said he hadn’t forgotten about it. I thought I had been the only one but he’d exiled Lee as well, Sam didn’t know where he went, only that he left on foot. I tried his number but it had been cut off.
There was a part of me that said to go back, blame Lee and pretend that I was straight. But I didn’t think I could do that. It would be lying to myself, and while I felt attraction to women, there were none in the pack I’d want to date.
I had no idea what to do as I drove for miles, doing odd jobs for gas money and food, trying to find a place to call home.