POV: Cas / Dean
July 15, 2003
I woke up alone in my bed but surrounded by the smell of Dean thanks to the shirt I had swiped. It took me a bit of time to feel awake, but I checked my phone right away and saw his text.
Dean: Good Morning Sunshine! Hope you have a fantastic day!
I smiled because I was sure it would be. The last completed book was done; the editor was good and hadn’t seen any other issues. The last few steps were cover design and then finalizing the formatting, after which they would send me proofs this week. My newest book had a firm outline thanks to Dean’s input. But, I would actually see him tonight too. It was my turn for date night. I’d decided against going out. I was going to make a meal he’d never forget complete with a rich decadent dessert. It required a trip to the store which was fine.
The weather on the other hand was complete shit. We were predicted to have rain all day and it wasn’t going easy. A few thunderstorms had rolled in during the night but at the moment it was just steady rain. I hit reply to his message.
Cas: It’ll be fantastic when you get here. Date nights on me, be here by 6.
I got a smiley face in return with ‘wouldn’t miss it’ as a message so I knew he’d be here. I got my morning coffee and fixed a light breakfast. I then got dressed in dark jeans, a blue polo shirt and a black hoodie. My trench coat was dirty. I got my wallets and headed to the store.
They were sort of busy but I parked about halfway down the lot anyway, I always did. I waited in the car hoping the rain would ease up, but it didn’t seem it would.
Sighing I got out and headed toward the door, my head down trying to protect my face from the rain. I hadn’t made it far when I saw boots step directly in front of me.
“Hello, Cassie.”
Fuck! I’d hoped he’d given up. But I raised my head.
“Robert.”
He was in all black with a dark coat that came down to his thighs; his head was covered with a hood like mine.
“What are you doing out in this weather?”
I raised a brow. “I’m going shopping, Robert. I planned to fix a nice dinner tonight.”
“A nice dinner? Why do you need a nice dinner just for yourself?”
I blinked. “It’s not just for me. Dean’s coming over as well. Not that you needed to know that. I would like to get inside now, it’s raining.”
I gave myself a mental high five for not sounding like a child and considered side-stepping him.
“Dean? Is this the guy you paid to go to the reunion with you? Must cost a fortune to actually have him come to dinner or even spend the night. Seems
desperate on your part.”
I tightened my fists. “I didn’t pay him to come with me, I asked him to come, just like I asked for him to come over for dinner. It’s my turn anyway and
I’m not you.”
I could see his eyes narrow some and he stepped a bit closer. “Your turn? You actually think he cares about you? There is no way someone like him would be legitimately into someone as boring as you.”
Reflex said I should step back, but I couldn’t always back down to him. So, despite the strong urge to move I didn’t. “Yes, my turn. You can’t possibly tell me if he’s genuine or not since you never were.”
It was a risk, but we were in a parking lot! What could he do? His answer came a moment later when he grabbed my right arm and pulled me even closer, causing me to stumble a bit and stifle a yelp.
“Don’t you ever fucking talk to me like that. I’m the only one who could even tolerate being around you, let alone date you.”
He was reminding me of the first time this happened, the first time he got mad and hurt me. But I swallowed.
“No, you aren’t. Dean wants to date me, you didn’t.”
His hand tightened a bit on my arm. “You’re right. I didn’t. But you were so weak, so alone. It was easy to toy with you. You still are. Everyone laughed at you knowing how much you disgusted me.”
I kept trying to remind myself his words meant nothing, but they hurt nonetheless. I just couldn’t keep letting him; Dean proved that the night of the reunion. His grip was getting tighter on my arm though. I glanced around wondering if anyone was around!
“You didn’t seem to mind when I was on my knees.”
I could see the flash of pure anger though and his grip got so tight on my arm it hurt. He pulled me closer, I was almost touching him. But when his hand landed hard on my right ass cheek I gasped. The sting was very evident and I was sure it would leave a mark. After he slid his had around to cup my penis, the last time he’d done that he had hurt me.
“I’ll admit, no woman has ever done it as well as you. But trust me, when I closed my eyes and moaned it wasn’t because of you. It wasn’t you I was picturing sucking my dick.”
Clearly no one cared; hell we looked like a couple standing in the rain and I was soaked. Everything I wore was drenched in water. I shouldn’t push my luck, but that tiny compliment meant shit with the rest. “Well, it wasn’t you I pictured either.”
“Yes it was. You didn’t have anyone else to imagine. You’re getting pretty testy. Don’t forget who you are talking to Castiel. I know where you live. I know where Dean lives. You don’t want to fuck with me.”
It wasn’t the time to mention that just because I hadn’t dated them, didn’t mean I couldn’t picture others. “You and I are over Robert, you have no reason to care how I am.”
His laugh was cruel and one he usually had during or after hurting me back then.
“Cassie, I don’t care about you. I never did. But you will listen to me and obey me if you don’t want your little boy toy hurt.”
I cringed but I knew him and I wanted out of this parking lot sooner. I was positive my arm was going to bruise and I wouldn’t be shocked if there wasn’t a handprint on my ass or worse.
“What do you want?”
Yep, it sounded pathetic but I knew continuing to sass or be mouthy wouldn’t help.
“Leave him. Cancel tonight. You don’t deserve him. And don’t think I won’t know if you still see him tonight or any other night.”
He pressed into me with his hand, rubbing fairly hard, something I hated. He pulled me even closer, leaned down to my ear.
“Don’t make me have to teach you how to behave again. I’m sure you don’t want to explain the marks and bruises to this Dean guy. Remember, I know and see everything you do. Don’t fuck up.”
He pushed me away from him and I stumbled. But he was walking away, back to his car. I stood here in the pouring rain. He had said not to go to Dean, but honestly that was all I wanted. I wanted to feel safe in his arms; I wanted some kind of comfort. Charlie would certainly be there but she wasn’t Dean. I moved back to my car and left the parking lot, wondering if he was following me.
*Dean*
Classics were a pain in the ass sometimes and I didn’t have many in the garage right now. The rain was helping us catch up. But the oil change for this car was always a pain in the ass. I was fighting with the cap underneath and about ready to give up when it came loose and then sprayed oil all over me.
“Fuck!”
I moved swiftly to get the oil pan under it but it didn’t matter, I was still covered in oil. I’d have to change coveralls before I could really do much more. But, I may as well wait until the old oil is out. I was laying here listening to the rain when I heard the tires squeal. Who the hell was that? I had others here so they could deal with them, hopefully that was. The oil was about done when I heard his voice.
“Dean?”
That was Castiel and his voice sounded scared and I couldn’t ignore that. I rolled out and was standing up when he called my name louder.
“Cas? I’m right here.”
His head turned and he was soaking wet. Water was dripping off of his hair, off his clothes. I think he even ran to me, but before I could stop him his arms had wrapped around me. I could feel the oil squishing between us. But his grip was so tight that I didn’t hesitate to return it.
“Castiel?”
He didn’t say anything, just held me tightly. I could feel his body trembling, could even feel the sobs and I didn’t do well with tears at all. But, clearly something was wrong. I was filthy but I rubbed his back and waited. His face was buried in my neck and he felt cold.
“Sunshine?”
His grip tightened a little more so I looked over at Kirk. “Hey! Can you come finish this? I need to...”
He smiled and nodded. “Go, I got it. You done drained her?”
“Yes. The bolt needs to be replaced and it’s right beside the pan. Everything is waiting, new filters and all.”
“Got it boss. Headed there now. Mine isn’t coming back until tomorrow.”
“Castiel, baby, we need to move. I’m not going anywhere but with you.”
He finally sort of let go but when he pulled away oil was all over his shirt. But I got his hand and led him to the apartment, water dripping everywhere.
“You go straight to the bathroom; I’ll be there in a moment.”
“I’ll wait.”
And he did wait for me to get out of the oily clothes and leave them in the downstairs hamper. I left my shirt there and cleaned as much as I could off too.
“Come on. Why are you soaking wet?”
“I…I just…”
He was clearly upset still so I just nodded, leading him to the bathroom. I started the shower and he looked confused.
“You’re freezing Cas. Everything off, I’m going to get you some clothes after I wash off.”
I had to get the oil off my arms and hands before I could really touch any clothes. I used the sink to do that but Cas just stood there. I assumed maybe he was waiting for me to leave the room, so once I was clean I wiped down the sink and went to find him clothes. I got a pair of pajamas that I was sure would fit and laid some clean socks out. I was sure his shoes were soaked through as well.
When I came back in he was still standing in the same spot, a larger puddle of water around his feet. I moved over to him and he didn’t make any effort to stop me when I started to unzip the soaking wet hoodie which I slid off his cold arms. I dropped it into the sink but I could see the discoloration on his arm. I moved my fingers along the edge and he slightly winched.
“Sunshine? What happened to your arm? That wasn’t there Sunday.”
He glanced down. “Robert…”
That one name was enough to make my blood boil and I really wanted to grill him but I could feel how cold he was and keeping him from getting sick was more important. He didn’t stop me from getting the polo off either, dropping it in with the hoodie. I figured he would stop me with the pants, but nope. I got them unbuttoned and unzipped without issues but getting them off was hard!
“Did you glue these to yourself this morning?”
“No.”
I finally peeled them off and the orange briefs looked similar to the ones he’d worn to the reunion, but when my fingers moved around the waistband he moved away from my right hand, looking, I found another bruised area.
“Robert as well?”
He nodded but I could tell he was so close to breaking down on me.
“Come on, hop in. Just let the warm water help warm you up. I’m going to clean this up so no one gets hurt.”
He stepped in and I shamelessly watched, then got busy cleaning up. The pants and briefs I could save, the shirt too the hoodie maybe a lost cause. I put it aside but the rest went into the water with the numerous towels I used to soak up the water from the floor. He stayed in the shower the whole time and let’s be real, naked Castiel in my shower was a beautiful sight. If he wasn’t as upset as he was, I’d take advantage!
I tossed two towels into the drier as I waited, and once they were nice and warm I took them to the bathroom. I cut the water off and let him step out. I slung it behind him and brought it around, wrapping him tightly in the warmth of the towel.
“Better?”
“I…”
I moved my arms around him and pulled him close, placing a gentle kiss on his lips. “I got you, Sunshine; he’s not going to do anything to you here. Come on, let me get you nice and dry and into some warm clothes. Then you can do whatever you want or need.”
Robert had scared him at the reunion, he’d been so brave but it was painfully obvious that something bad happened concerning Robert. He hadn’t left marks then, but he had now. I was going to be asking but I wanted him much calmer first. I guided him to the main room and set about drying him off and even helping with the clothes. He seemed to like the care and attention, the fact that someone was doing this for him. I finally got the socks and kneeled down, slipping them onto his feet. I stood up and looked at him.
“You get a pass for the moment, I know you’re upset and you don’t want to talk about it right this moment. You and I will have that conversation later this afternoon. So, what do you need from me Castiel? What do you want?”
He pulled me a bit closer to him and laid his head on my abdomen. I used the moment to run my fingers through his wet locks.
“Cuddle it is. Here or the couch?”
“Here’s easier.”
“Alright.”
I slipped a shirt on and lay down on the bed and he moved to lie down beside me. I secured a blanket over us both because he was still shaky. I then curled my body into his, putting as much contact as I could between us. I swore he purred at that, but he finally let go. I did my best to comfort him, unsure of what Robert said or really done. Those two areas were much redder than I cared for. He didn’t even cry long before he settled down and eventually slept. I didn’t move away, laid here with him and even dozed myself.
I was awake when he moved though, even though he just snuggled back against me more.
“I’m still here.”
He snuggled closer. “Making sure…”
“Are you warm now?”
He nodded. “Don’t want to move though.”
“You don’t have to.”
“My bladder disagrees with you.”
“Pesky things, bladders.”
He stayed here another ten minutes before he got up and went to the bathroom, I sat up and stretched. When he came back into the room he looked better. Not as pale or as confused.
“You didn’t return to work?”
“No. Perks of being the owner and you needed me more.”
“I’m…”
I raised my hand. “Don’t apologize. You needed help and you’re more important than any car in that garage. How about we fix some lunch and then we can talk?”
“I had plans for dinner…”
I got up and pulled him in for a tight hug. “Tomorrow, you and I can go to the store and get whatever you need.”
“Thank you.”
I pressed a kiss to his temple. “Anytime. So, food.”
I knew I was hungry and I was certain he was too. I whipped up a quick lunch made from some leftovers I had in the fridge. We sat in the kitchen and ate and then I directed him to the sofa. He couldn’t get out of this. He knew that when I asked to see the two places, the one on his hip hadn’t gotten worse but his arm had.
“Does it feel like you need to see a doctor?”
“No. It’s bruised is all.”
“So, what happened?”
He took me through their encounter in the parking lot. Including that he’d told him to leave me and cancel our date. That he would know if he saw me and about teaching him how to behave.
“And yet the first thing you did was come here?”
He nodded. “I knew Charlie would drop anything but…he can hurt her easier.”
“I don’t know, Charlie’s tough.”
He shook his head. “She’s not you though.”
“No, she’s not. You said your relationship with him wasn’t the best, but you haven’t really told me anything about it. Castiel, I need to know. What was
that relationship like?”
“I met Robert on October 16 of 1991. There were a few guys that were bullies about my preference and he told them to scram in not polite terms. He complimented my eyes and the next day he found me to ask me out. He wasn’t my very first date, but he was my first real boyfriend.”
He paused for a moment, then drank some more tea.
“He was nice for a while but then he wanted me to change clothes or not wear things like vibrant colored shirts. We moved slowly and we reached the make out stage in December but it was only if he wanted to, never if I did. It didn’t feel different. He was a little older so I assumed it was normal. I know better now.”
I gave him a half smile. “Yeah, that’s not normal.”
“By Valentine’s I was done for and I wanted to do more. I wanted more in general. So, I set up this nice place and I gave him a blow job.”
“I’d count that as a good gift.”
He turned his head to me and his eyes said it all, such sadness.
“He didn’t think so, basically said everything I did sucked and not the good way. He swore he’d teach me how to do it right.”
“I’m afraid to ask what his version of teaching meant…”
“It wasn’t very pleasant. By April he was leaving bruises and marks, something Charlie noticed. He was asking for a lot of blow jobs but not giving many in return and his were short and to the point. It sucked. He was pressing for more but I just…I didn’t want to. So, I said no. He also liked to put down what I wore, my weight, size, anything he didn’t like.”
I smirked. “There is nothing wrong with your size or weight or what you wear.”
I saw the slight blush and slid a little closer, put my arm around his shoulders and let him know it was okay to tell me.
“Looking back he was very abusive physically and mentally, he didn’t mind leaving bruises anywhere. He liked blow jobs but he liked to be rough with me during that time, yanking my hair or worse. It never got better but I loved him and I was so stupid.”
“Love makes us do things Cas.”
“I know. We did nothing for our one year mark and the following April he told me he was working and I went by his job to bring him lunch. They told me he wasn’t scheduled and they presumed he was at home. I went there next and caught him.” He paused, looking anywhere but at me. “He was with a girl from school having sex with her in the backseat of his car. I was so shocked and confused. I couldn’t turn away for a bit and then I knocked on the window. It was clear he was surprised but not that it mattered. I just walked away.”
I pulled him a little closer, wiped away the single tear. “Love can hurt too.”
“He came to the house the next day, my parents and brother were away. He tried to apologize and I fell for it. Like an idiot, I fell into the trap of make outs and blow jobs but he wouldn’t let me finish him, saying he wanted more. As much as I wanted to, I just couldn’t. It didn’t feel right.”
He paused for a long moment and I just kept my hold tight and let him know I was here. I knew painful stories were sometimes hard.
“He snapped. Started screaming how worthless I was, how no one would love me, how they’d never stay, and then he hit me. He really hurt me and all the while he was screaming that he was never into….fags. That he wasn’t gay, that he just wanted to see how far I’d go. Gabriel came home first and he called the paramedics. I spent three days in the hospital. He broke my arm. They did several MRIs. When I went back to school I ignored him, but it didn’t stop others. They were worse than before and if it wasn’t for Charlie, I don’t think I would have made it.”
I was shocked. “Cas that’s…horrible. Did the police do anything?”
“They talked to him but his girlfriend said that he was with her. There was no real proof. He said he dumped me and I must have done it to myself.”
I put my other arm around him and held him.
“He was wrong.”
“No. The three guys I tried to have something with all ended the same way, they left. Aubrey was the last one and after him I just swore it off. Robert put him up to it, he wanted to hurt me. I dumped him because Charlie found out and told me.”
“Is this why you think I won’t stay?”
He just nodded and I turned his head to me, kissed the tip of his nose. “You’ll have to dump me to get rid of me.”
He briefly shook his head. “He’ll hurt you, Dean, if I don’t do what he says.”
“Castiel. You are not doing anything he says. He’s a bully and an asshole. I’m not going to stand by and let him hurt you. You’ve done nothing wrong.”
“But…” I placed a finger over his lips which shushed him.
“I’ve wanted to date you for years, I just never knew if you wanted that as well. I know you do now and I can’t walk away from that. Trust me, he doesn’t know me that well and he doesn’t understand that I will not back down to him. What he did was abuse and you never deserved that.”
“I don’t know what to do.”
“Well, first we’re going to report it to the police. They may not be able to do much, but at least it’s on file.” He nodded. “I don’t like that you’ll be at home alone.”
His brow rose. “I don’t have anywhere else to stay, Dean.”
“Yes you do, right here with me.”
He blinked at me. “You…You want me to stay here with you?”
“Yes. I’m not saying you have to or anything, but at least for a few days. Please? I’ll feel better if you’re here and I know he’s not bothering you.”
“You don’t mind?”
“No. You’ll have the whole place to yourself during the day. You don’t have to though.”
He nodded some. “I...think it’s best.”
“Me too, we can go get you some clothes and your things in a bit. Is there anything else with him?”
“No. I just…I thought he gave up.”
“Me too.”
I kissed him and ruffled his hair. “Your hoodie…how attached are you?”
“Not much…why?”
“When you got here I was covered in oil and it’s very oily now. I don’t know if it’ll come clean.”
He shrugged. “I can try, if not I’ll just…swipe one of yours.”
“Mhmm…you saying I can just throw it away then? I have six, take your pick.”
He smiled and I was glad to see it.
“I don’t understand Dean, if he’s not gay then why is he bothering? He doesn’t find me attractive in that manner.”
“He just wants to hurt you, that’s all.”
“What if he can hurt either of us?”
“Then I’ll introduce him to my right hook and make him reconsider. Has he done anything else besides today?”
“No. I mean, I’ve been getting calls from the same number but it’s not a lot and it’s always the same thing. Just quietness. I assumed it was robo calls.”
“We’ll see if they can trace it just in case it is him.”
My phone rang and when I looked it was the office, so he told me to get it.
“Hey Meg, what’s up?”
“Just wanted to let you know that Kirk moved Cas’s car into the garage with your car. The keys are hanging just outside your door. We’re all done and headed out. Kirk said he hoped Castiel was okay. Is he okay?”
“He is. Yes. Thank you.”
“No problem. But um, he mentioned an interaction with a customer last week. He said you were working on the car and Cas was here, the guy was like…staring you both down and he said something. He didn’t know if it was related but he had me screen print his picture from security.”
“Thanks, I’ll take a look.”
“Have a good night.”
“You too.”
I hung up the phone. “Your car is with Baby, safe and sound.”
He looked alarmed. “It’s probably soaked.”
“Probably. I guess if you feel up to it we can head to your place and get whatever you may need and then come by and get greasy pizza.”
“Deal. But um, I have nothing else here to put on.”
“I got pants and shirts and you don’t even need underwear. I know you like to go without too.”
His cheeks flushed and I smiled. “Go find something.”
He headed to the closet and I went down and first cleaned up the water! Holy hell I almost forgot! I then went ahead and got his keys and checked the car. The seat itself was wet but it would dry. When I came back upstairs he was in a pair of blue jeans and a Led Zeppelin shirt. I smiled, loving that look.
“Perfect.”
“My shoes are soaked.”
“I got flip flops temporarily, not sure my shoes would fit.”
“They won’t. Sandals are fine.”
One he was ready we headed to his place where he got what he would need for a few days. But I heard the sneeze and cringed. After we got done with that we got the pizza and went back to my place. I called and made a formal report about what happened. I knew it wasn’t going to lead to any real action, but I’d rather it be on file.
We settled in with beer, pizza and Netflix and he seemed much better but we both went to bed rather early.