POV: Cas
March 23, 2004
I was riding with Dean during the day and just spending my time in his office doing what I needed. Robert had not only shown up at the store that day, but several times over that week. As secure as I felt at home, I just didn’t want to risk it. I felt safer when Dean was nearby and when I was surrounded by others who could call the police if needed. I wasn’t alone.
It also helped because they now had the plans for the house and people knew the house was not just Dean’s, but ours. So, if I stepped out to answer a question or discuss something, they didn’t even bat an eye. At the moment, that actually wasn’t much of an issue because they were just beginning to really frame. But there was a lady who was coming by today because the landscape would have to be redone. Dean left the yard space completely up to me - given I would see it way more than he would.
Dean started working the moment we arrived; I set up my laptop and got to work as well. Edits were done and I was in the process of outlining the next book and completing edits as well. We were aiming for a late May release with a summer book tour, something Charlie and Dean both were excited about.
“Clarence, you doing okay in here?”
I’d given up telling Meg my name. She hadn’t clued me in on why she called me that but she hadn’t acknowledged any other name for me in a while now.
“I am. How are you? I heard the guy get a bit loud.”
She scoffed. “He was mad that Benny charged him for the repair. It was clear he did the damage. Benny took care of him though.”
“How is Benny doing?”
“He’s doing well. He and Dean are working on a motor replacement for a car right now. Kirk is doing the oil changes and stuff.”
“And you?”
“Same ol’, I’m sending out past due invoices and making sure the parts we ordered have come in. If not, Dean asked me to get estimates and call
customers to update them. Most of those are on the classics though, sometimes parts are hard to find.”
“I understand that.”
I’d had experience trying to find things that are considered old or classic and having problems.
“How’s that new book coming?”
“Pretty good, outline is coming along. Are you really good with comprehending books? I really don’t see you reading.”
I had seen her read magazines but nothing else.
She smiled. “I read sometimes. But, yes. Why?”
“The editor indicated this paragraph was confusing. However, I feel like it makes sense. I’d like your opinion.”
“Oh, anytime.”
She came around and I let her read the paragraph. She asked a few questions because she hadn’t read the previous parts and I answered.
“In that context, it’s good. If anything, you could drop that extra sentence here because it does sound similar to the one before.” Several moments later she was helping me versus anything.
“Stealing my workers already?” Dean asked.
“More like making my wage worth it,” she quipped.
“I’m not going to complain. I gotta run up the road and get another bolt. The damn thing snapped on us. Wanted to let you know.”
“Okay,” I said.
Realistically, he would be gone ten minutes and I heard his car arrive not long after it left. Up the road indicated Bobby’s salvage yard. She stayed and helped until after lunch and then went back to the front because she needed to actually do her job. I did tell her I would mark anything I had questions on. I wondered if Meg would be a better editor than the person the publisher used.
Dean and I had lunch together and after lunch he returned to the garage. There was a landscape designer coming in because we needed some help. I was about to dive back into work when I saw a car drive in and the person that got out had to be her. She was really beautiful. I headed outside and she smiled when she saw me.
“Castiel, I presume?”
I nodded, extended my hand to shake. “That’s me. Amara, correct?”
She shook my head, had a good grip. “Yes. Mr. Milligan indicated that you guys might be looking to improve the landscape as well.”
“Yes, Adam mentioned it and we talked it over. Dean basically said to do what I want.”
“Well, you have a little side yard there that connects to the garage. Do you guys want a fence or something between the two buildings?”
“We are going to put a fence there; we also want one we can open so he can access this space quickly. We are actually thinking about creating a space
there where employees can go for breaks. So, maybe a patio and some tables?”
She was writing down notes as I spoke and had a basic looking drawing of the space. We went to that space to discuss it further and maybe even do a water feature so it would be more relaxing. We moved into the larger space and were discussing the large area. Dean’s property line was pretty far back and backed up against a wooded area that was part of a park. There was no way it would be sold or changed. We definitely wanted a fence but not one that would stop smaller wildlife.
“You don’t mind rabbits?”
I shook my head. “No. Right now the fence is pretty damaged so we get a lot of little critters in this area. We like it. I’d love a bee farm but sadly the county would never approve it here.”
“That is true. So maybe a fence that has an open space at the bottom?”
“That would be good.”
She was naming plants I’d never seen or heard from but said she and I would visit the local nursery before anything went in. We were just discussing potential garden ideas when I heard the sound of a throat clearing over the hum of the nail guns. I turned and found Robert standing ten feet behind us. Amara turned as well and paused her sentence.
“Castiel, can we talk?”
“There is nothing for us to talk about. Please, leave.”
“I’ll um…be just inside. Meet me there, Castiel,” she said.
I really wished she didn’t leave me here alone, but there were people around even outside.
“Please?” He asked.
“Robert, you need to stop. I want nothing to do with you.”
He came forward and my instant reaction was to back away.
“Cas,” he said in a low tone I remembered very well.
I held my hand up to indicate he should stop but he didn’t. I kept backing away until I tripped but strong arms caught me before I actually fell to the ground.
“I got you, Sunshine.”
I relaxed, knowing Dean was here.
“Step back, Robert. That’s an order, not a request.”
He held his hands up and actually moved back several steps. Dean got me steady on my feet.
“Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”
“I’m fine, Dean. He didn’t hurt me.”
Dean moved in front of me. “You need to leave, Robert. He has nothing to say to you, and there’s no reason for you to be here. I’ll file another restraining order if you don’t leave.”
“I just want to talk to him.”
“Then talk.” Dean snapped.
“Alone, Dean,” he said.
“That’s not gonna happen, every time you’ve been alone with him, you’ve hurt him. No more. You may as well tell us both, assuming he even wants to hear it.”
I could tell that Robert wasn’t used to this push back. Dean was forceful and authoritative. I found him so sexy at that moment.
Robert faltered and several moments passed before he nodded. “Fine.”
Dean turned slightly to me, while keeping one eye on Robert. “Sunshine? Do you want to hear anything he has to say?”
On one hand, I really didn’t want to hear him out. Was there anything he had to say worth hearing? I didn’t really want to, but there was a part of me that was curious if he would answer the why’s that I had concerning him. I felt Dean’s hand on my waist.
“It’s okay if you want to.”
It was like he read my mind!
“I would like to.”
He turned back toward Robert. “You can say your piece but don’t get any closer.”
Dean moved to the side, allowing me to be more face-to-face with Robert. But Dean was clearly close enough to step in if needed and it was very clear he wasn’t leaving. Robert looked to the building first and then Dean.
“I guess it’s good you’re here as well. I’m sorry about your place and you don’t have to worry, Dean. My next stop after here is the police station where
I’ll let them know my involvement. I’m sure they’ve been trying to link me anyway.”
“You were actually behind that?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“Why?” Dean asked.
He deserved to know the why and I wanted to know as well. Robert sighed.
“I thought that if I went after Dean he would be afraid and he would leave you. Sort of backfired given he moved in with you instead. I didn’t want anyone to be hurt though and I told my guy not to go after the actual garage because let’s be real, I know oil burns.”
“He still could have…”
I laid my hand on Dean’s shoulder. We both knew what could have happened, but it hadn’t.
“I know, Dean. I didn’t realize that you kept those items in this building as well. I’m sorry. Like I said, I’ll be telling the police.”
He nodded and I could tell Dean was mad but he stayed beside me.
“Castiel…I’m not sure where to begin really. I’ve seen you the past month and you seem very happy with Dean. I’m not sure that I’ve ever seen you that happy at all. Not before or after us, certainly not with me.”
“Can you blame me, Robert?”
“No. I wished I’d treated you differently.”
I snorted. “What are you talking about? You said you weren’t into men, that I was just a ‘play toy’ to you.”
He took a step forward and Dean growled, but he didn’t back down.
“Cas…” Robert sighed. “Back then I was listening to friends and other family members you never met. They kept saying real men aren’t into other men.
I asked you because of a dare and, well, I didn’t realize that you were actually a lot more than what meets the eye. You were smart and witty, creative as fuck, and you had a devotion that no one else ever showed.”
He paused for several moments. “I was an asshole to you the whole time, I know that now. I really wanted to explore that side of myself but I was never able to without hearing their words in my head. Every time I wanted to move farther or wanted more, I couldn’t get their words out of my head. In hindsight, that was probably better because I ended up hurting you so badly.”
“You really did. You not only broke my heart, you broke my arm.”
“I wish I could change that day. I wanted you back so badly but I couldn’t even admit to myself that I loved you. That what started as a joke turned into
something very real. I fell for you and that scared me. I didn’t know how to process those emotions or feelings and what came out was anger. Anger that you were done with me, that you were strong enough to walk away, that I couldn’t find the words to make you stay. I’m not even sure that anything I could have said that day would have made you stay.”
I shook my head. “No, there was nothing you could have said to make me stay.”
“I figured. The one thing I regret in my past is us. You went on to finish school, become a successful writer. Your books are amazing and I hope they let me read them in jail. I moved on and got married and divorced. I kept thinking about you and finally I admitted that I loved you. I never knew how to approach you.”
“What about Aubrey? That was just a few years ago, Robert. He said you wanted me to hurt.”
“I didn’t know at first that he was dating you and when he did, I told him to leave. I wanted you for myself. Aubrey didn’t know I was into you and assumed it was just a continuation from school. I swear, I never told him to hurt you on purpose.”
I really couldn’t comprehend what he was saying. He loved me all along, and yet his way of showing it was so wrong. I was happy I had Dean in my life now, to show me how right love could be.
“You’ve done worse in the last year,” Dean said.
“Yes. I saw him at the dance and assumed he’d be alone.”
“And yet, your first words were insults. I believe you even said I couldn’t find anyone else to love me,” I said.
His face blushed some. “I recall a punch and a knee to my groin. I admit I was a bit drunk, but that wasn’t a reason to do what I did. I’m sorry if I ruined your night.”
Dean snorted. “You didn’t, I made damn sure of that.”
I smiled at the reminder of how that night went and the many after that.
“I’m glad I didn’t. I thought I could win you back but I did everything wrong. Every time I wanted you to run to me, you went to Dean. It took me a long time to realize I was fucking things up. I tried everything and you just kept going to Dean.”
Neither of us really had anything to say to that.
“I realize now that my actions towars you have always been wrong. I’ve been hurtful and insulting. I’m so sorry. I wish I could change the past and perhaps know the person that Dean clearly does. To be supportive like he is and to really see what we could have been. A close friend made me see my actions were wrong. I’ve made a mess of my own life and it’s time I try to do better. Although, I assume one of you made a call.”
“That would be Meg when she came and got me,” Dean said.
I turned briefly and saw the officer standing at the edge of the garage, his partner beside him. Robert was making no movements to run away or leave, so perhaps he was serious this time.
“I just…I wanted you to know. Is there anything else?”
I shook my head. “No. If I have any more questions, I’ll direct them through your lawyer. I presume you’ll have one.”
“Yes, I do. I’m confessing to the garage and to stalking, as well as the assault on you and the breaking and entering in February. I am sorry to both of
you. I hope you are happy and maybe in the future, you can both forgive me.”
“Thank you for doing this. I know it’s not easy and as for forgiving you, we’ll see,” I said.
“Thank you,” Dean said.
He nodded and even called the police officers over. He surrendered there in front of us. It was bittersweet. Once he was gone, we headed inside. Amara was with Meg talking and I’d forgotten she was even here.
“I’m sorry about that.”
“Don’t be. Ms. Masters filled me in on how it’s been with him. I was a little frantic when she bolted and then called 911. However, I have another appointment but I think I have a good idea of what you want. I will get some plans together and then get with you in a few weeks. We can then visit the nursery with Dean.”
“Sounds like a plan,” I said.
We exchanged numbers and then she headed out. Meg was curious but she didn’t ask right away. Dean pretty much led me to his office where he sat down and pulled me into his lap. I really couldn’t deny this was very nice, being in his arms and knowing I was loved and cherished.
“Do you believe him?”
“I do. It makes sense. Not many of his friends approved of us. I can imagine the stress and pressure. It doesn’t excuse his behavior. But I am glad he
provided answers because I’ve always wondered why.”
“Now you know.”
I nodded. I did know and it would make moving on easier.
“Alright, enough about him. What nursery are we visiting?”
He almost sounded scared to ask and I smiled. “Plants, Dean. She’s the one designing the landscape for us. She and I were talking when he approached. It’s too cold right now to really do much and until they’re done with the house, there is no point. She did like the idea of having a little area for employees and suggested a little water feature too.”
“I can get behind that.”
He patted my thigh. “You don’t seem as upset now, you good?”
“Yes. Thank you for just knowing what I needed before I even did.”
“You’ve done that a time or two for me, Sunshine. I’m going to let you get back to work here while I help Benny finish up.”
“Okay. I think once I’m sure what happens then maybe I would feel okay being at home again.”
“No rush. I actually like having you here. It’s nice to just see you when I want.”
“Just think, when the house is finished, you’ll be able to do just that.”
He smiled and patted my thigh again. I finally got up and let him get back to work. I did okay focusing but I did inform Charlie that Robert had been by and what happened. I also let Sasha know. He’d been worried as well. When we made it home that afternoon, we did a quick dinner and contacted the detective who confirmed that Robert had confessed to everything. He even turned over the person who actually set fire to Dean’s home. He was being charged and held on several accounts. It was a relief.
We were able to cuddle up after that and enjoy the afternoon.