POV: Cas / Dean
November 28, 2003
It took a moment for Dean’s brain to connect the words and it was an adorable confused look followed by a surprised one, he really must have thought I was done with him. I kissed his neck a few more times, let him come down just a bit. I didn’t want him to ride high for too long at a time.
“Think you can move now?”
“Maybe…”
I straightened up but his legs were still around me, so I couldn’t move away just yet. I rubbed his thighs both inside and outside. He seemed to enjoy that little bit of attention. I had to admit that I loved his thighs about as much as he loved mine.
“We need water and a break, Sweetie.”
“Slightly lightheaded, it’s why I’m waiting.”
I leaned back down. “I would just pick you up, but I’m sure you’d complain relentlessly.”
His glare was enough really. “No picking me up with that arm. I’ll be fine in a minute.”
I just stayed and kept rubbing his thighs, hips, down his calf. Just waiting. When he could sit up I helped him and then got water for us both. It was also a moment for bathroom breaks.
“Do you want a snack too?”
He was picking up his pants from his floor. “Depends on what you have planned, Sunshine.”
I pulled him to me. “You can drop those clothes for starters you won’t be needing them.”
He let go of the pants he’d picked up and smiled. “Snack might be good then.”
We got some of the leftovers and heated them up, then sat naked in the kitchen to eat. It was really nice to not be afraid to do this, to not fear this nakedness. Once finished I didn’t bother to clean the plates, just sat them in the sink. I then turned the lights off in the front and he giggled at me.
“Guess we’re not staying in here, Sunshine?”
“Nope. Not at all.”
I got his hand and led him down to the bedroom; I turned just the lamps on. Enough lights to see but not enough to be blinding to either of us. He pulled me into a hug and nipped my neck playfully.
“So…what’s the plan?”
My left hand landed sort of hard on his right cheek, something he seemed to like more. “For you not to be able to breathe. So, why don’t you go get on the bed?”
I felt his lips curl into a smile and then he was moving and I was nervous. Fuck was I nervous. When I turned I expected him to be on the bed, sure. But not that position! He was on all fours on the bed and he was looking at me expectedly. I paused and swallowed hard, holy hell. Could I assume this was consent for whatever I wanted to do though? Not really. The pose was perfect for the next part of my plan, so I moved beside the bed. I ran my hand down his back slowly and watched the goosebumps form and the shiver it induced. I got the lube from the bedside table, where it had been waiting.
“You like this position?”
“We’ll see.”
He was closer to the side and well, that worked. I first just admired how beautiful he was. Smooth skin with freckles that I could count all day and never cover them all. Muscles in all the right places and all those places that were soft and sensual like his ass. I let my hands run across the smooth muscles of his back, exploring once again. I also wanted him to be relaxed.
“Tease,” he said.
“Not like you don’t enjoy it.”
His head turned toward me. “Yeah I do, but this isn’t making me breathless, let alone unable to breathe.”
“I have all night.” I replied slowly.
When I was done admiring the beautiful specimen in front of me, I kicked it up a bit. My hand fell to his ass and moved over the fluttering hole slowly to gauge his reaction which was a low moan and a drop of his head slightly.
“Finally,” he sassed.
“Impatient.”
“You know I could do that to myself and let you just watch.”
Well, fuck. “Fuck Dean, that’s…just…fuck. Maybe tomorrow I’ll take you up on that offer.”
I got the lube and I was sure I added too much, but I wanted everything slippery. It hadn’t been that long but I started with one finger and when I got a bitch face, I moved to two. This wasn't about just pleasure though; this was to stretch him, make him want more. I used my free hand to move to the nipples - rubbing, flicking or slightly pinching.
When he was pushing back against my fingers, I added more lube and added another finger, scissoring them a bit and even running my fingers around as much as I could. The smooth velvety walls contracted against me and clamped onto me. I altered nipples until I was sure they were nice and stimulated and then let that hand wander down with the other one, slipping three in and using my left hand to gently massage the perineum, listening to the moans and groans and cuss words. The occasional ‘I can still breathe’ as well.
I added some more lube and eased a fourth finger with the others, slowly stretching him. I heard a hiss and paused though, hissing didn’t sound good.
“Dean?”
His hand close to me waved. “I’m okay, just…burned a little.”
“Need me to slow down?”
He shook his head but I did slow a little anyway, making sure there was plenty of lube. I leaned down and nipped at his ass cheeks, letting my left hand caress the sac gently, before moving down the hard length. I wasn’t expecting it, but I felt his hand wrap around my cock. I paused because damn it felt good.
“Cas…I...I need...”
His voice was much different than what I’d heard - full of lust and need.
“You need what?”
“More. I need…Please, Cas.”
“You want another finger or two? I have more.”
“No! I need…fuck I need you. I need your cock.”
My nerves decided now was the best time to come back. I wasn’t sure I could satisfy him that way, that was something I’d never done. Maybe I could distract him, so I kept pumping my fingers, sinking them in and finding the bundle of nerves too. He seemed to have moved past that but I saw him turn his head toward me, a moment later he was pulling away. Fuck.
He moved to be kneeling in front of me on the bed, his eyes were a dark grassy green, the pupils blown. His skin was flushed so nicely, a light shade of red.
“Castiel.”
His voice remained low and lust blown.
“Yes?”
“I want you. If that’s not something you’re comfortable with, let me know.”
I blinked at him, he really did want me? He really wanted to do that with me?
“I do, Dean. I just...” I tried to collect my thoughts quickly. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
It was hard to explain that I wanted to but I wasn’t sure if it would be good for him. He moved his hands over my arms and wrapped them around my neck. He leaned in and kissed me several times. When he pulled back he smiled.
“You want to, right Castiel? I don’t want you to agree because you think it’s what I want to have. I know you haven’t before and I don’t want you to do anything you aren’t ready and comfortable with.”
“I do, I’m just…”
“Nervous? Scared?” He leaned in and kissed me. “It’s okay. Come lay down.”
Okay, I was a little confused but I nodded. He moved enough so that I could crawl up into the bed. I was positive the slap to my ass was just testing if I would like it, as it had been before. I found I really did like it.
I laid down in the middle of the bed and he tossed the bottle of lube up to the pillows beside me. Then he was crawling over me. It was my turn to forgot how to breathe for a moment. The beautiful image before me but it was his lips that snapped me out of it.
“Breathe, Sunshine. That’s it.”
“Not the first time you’ve been there.” I pouted.
His lips met mine again, moved with me until he finally rose up just a bit, ground down into me and fuck, we were both hard as rocks.
“Different circumstances. You sure about this still?”
“Yes.”
I wasn’t sure what he was going to do or how this would work. I let Dean take the lead, just watched as he got the lube and poured it into his hand, letting it warm some. I thought it was for him but turns out it was for me; had to admit his hands closing around me was pretty damn good. I let my head fall back onto the pillows and enjoyed the way his hand moved up and down the shaft.
I moved my head back up when there was another feeling of something warm and resistant pressing against the head of my cock. Dean’s hand was still wrapped around me but he was moving down onto me. I could feel the wet heat around me, the tight rings of muscles as he slid lower. He was moving down slowly and that was good because I wanted to remember every detail about this night. From how he responded to me, to how he felt around me.
Even how I felt right this moment as my cock was slipping inside him. I was no longer a virgin. After several minutes, his hand came back around and they were laid against my chest, but he was still slowly moving down.
“Dean?”
“I’m okay.”
He didn’t look like he was okay, so I stopped him. “Dean. You don’t look okay; I can see the painful expressions.”
He slightly bit his lip. “It’s been a while Castiel, I’m okay.”
“Slow is fine, baby.”
He barely nodded but I moved my hands, I could reach so much of him! His thighs, abdomen, around to his ass, and his back and chest. I could feel him relax some before he began to move back down until he bottomed out.
“Fuck, Cas. So full. So good.”
His voice was still lust filled and clearly this was something he was fine with. He was just sitting there, adjusting as I was too. The feeling of his inner walls clenching around me was different. It wasn’t a fully physical reaction either - this was emotions. Which was hard for me to pinpoint just one. But he felt right.
“Cas?”
I looked up at him and smiled. “I’m okay. Are you?”
He nodded, sat there a few minutes before he began to move and if I thought he was perfect just sitting there, moving was even better. I let my hands roam more, twisting a nipple or squeezing his ass. I think my favorite was when he rotated his hips in circles; that felt so damn different. I couldn’t exactly say how long he was there; I wasn’t really focused on the clock. Just the sounds we made like the moans and grunts. My hands were on his thighs and I could feel them shaking and his movements were slowing down some too.
I stopped him when he came down, he looked confused.
“Your turn to lie down, stretch a bit.”
He moved to let me slide out and then moved down, straightening his legs and letting his body slither down mine. His lips joined mine and I kept him right there for several minutes. I considered a doggy style position but I wanted to see him. I shifted over so when I moved to the side he would be in the middle. I enjoyed this languid moment but eventually he moved me on top. I was feeling so many things and I still hadn’t made him unable to breathe!
“Castiel.”
I moved to his neck and then moved down until I sat up, nerves were gone but I did add more lube and well, in this position I could watch myself sinking into him. I trailed my hands down his inner thigh and watched him stroke himself a few times. He seemed to enjoy it more in this position. I stayed upright for a bit, gave me a bit more control and allowed me to stroke him too. I had to admit these moans were so much better than anything I’d heard before.
I finally leaned down so I could get a hold of those lips and hear those noises closer, my brain finally clicked too. Slow was the way to go. This wasn’t just fucking, it was more. I felt his hands explore, sliding down my back and even squeezing my ass a time or two. I nipped at his neck.
“You feel so fucking good.”
“I’m still breathing though.” He smirked.
I giggled slightly and just kept on where I was. I was enjoying this feeling, enjoying this closeness. I could tell he was well relaxed and I could feel the tightening of his muscles around me, the way his thighs were against my hips and I moved my right arm down, pulled his leg up a little more.
“Fuck!”
I registered when his breathing got shallower; he was getting close. I felt his long legs curl around me and I adjusted slightly. I needed to put more weight on my left arm, which let my right hand tweak a nipple before going down.
“Cas…I need..Fuck. Harder!”
Another slight angle shift and I found the spot I’d been looking for, that one spot that made him inhale sharply and tighten his hands around my biceps
until it hurt. I focused on that spot, but I knew I wasn’t going to last much longer. It felt too damn good.
“Damnit, so..fuck..” My hand around his cock and mimicking my own speed shut him up for the moment. I increased my speed even more.
“God, I love you. Don’t stop, please don’t.”
His voice was strained but it took my brain a moment to catch up to the words and I almost stopped! But fuck, I was so close and his breathing was just as ragged as mine. I again increased my speed. It didn’t really take long for him to be coming all over my hand and his chest. It did seem like he stopped breathing as the orgasm crashed over him. A few thrusts later and I was following him.
It was a high I wanted again. I didn’t move though, instead lowered to my elbows putting more weight on the left side. I kissed all along his neck, hearing him breathing short and quick. I also clung to the way he was holding me so tightly. My brain finally caught up to the words he had said.
I wasn’t even sure how long we stayed this way, I couldn’t move until he let me go. As the time passed he sort of relaxed, but not enough for me to get up.
“Can you breathe now? I asked.
“Yeah, kinda.”
“If you’ll let me up, I’ll get a towel and clean us both up.”
His head nodded and he slowly released me. I was sure I had marks on both arms but I didn’t mind. I eased out of him and then made it upright. Before I got up I rubbed both of his thighs, trying to ease some of the tension. Once I was sure he’d be okay I went down to the bathroom and washed my own hands and cleaned up myself quickly. I then took the warm rag with me.
Dean hadn’t moved at all. His head turned and he seemed relieved when I washed him up. I made sure to get everything before tossing the rag on the floor. He moved enough for me to get rid of the sheet I’d placed over the covers and then to get them turned back as well. I then crawled into the bed with him, who cared about clothes? I briefly worried but then he was scooting over next to me. Our foreheads touching and arms over each other. We laid in silence for a while before he leaned in and softly pressed his lips to mine.
“How was your first time, Castiel?”
“It was perfect for me, what about you?”
“You took ‘unable to breathe’, literally. If I weren’t so worn out from three rounds, I’d say make it four. You coming to the garage was planned?”
I smiled. “I wanted you fully relaxed beforehand.”
“Mission accomplished. Castiel?” He asked.
“Yes?”
His lips pressed against mine again, soft and sweet. “I meant it. I’m sorry it slipped out during sex, but I meant it. I’ve wanted to say those words for a few weeks but I wasn’t sure how you’d take it. I do love you. I mean that.”
Hearing him say those words caused all kinds of new emotions. Some good, some bad. But, honestly I couldn’t keep denying myself the truth. I’d fallen for Dean a long time ago and now I loved him too.
“I love you too, Dean. I’ve known about it for a while but I was afraid. The fear that you’d leave was just too strong but you keep coming back here and I think the fire may have been a good thing. I mean, sure the two or three days at a time was good but it being every day made me really see it. I can’t deny that I love you anymore. I just…please don’t go anywhere.”
His arms tightened around me. “I’m not going anywhere, Sunshine; I don’t think I’d survive long without you in my life. You keep me sane and especially since the fire. Which, I agree. I think it was a good thing.”
I nipped his bottom lip and heard the low moan. “Sure you don’t want round four?”
“Dude, I don’t think my body could handle it. You’ve worn me the fuck out today.”
I pulled him a little closer. “But you loved every moment.”
“I can’t believe you heard me and didn’t say anything about it.”
“I wasn’t entirely sure if you were serious about it. You hadn’t really made many moves that indicated you did.”
His hand moved to my side. “I’m sorry about that. I wasn’t sure what you’d be comfortable with. I didn’t want to do something and freak you out.”
“It should be me apologizing, Dean. It’s a topic I’m clearly not good with yet and it’s probably because I’ve never been with someone who cared as much about me getting off as them.”
He chuckled. “I figure that whoever is bringing me pleasure, should also feel the same. How about we talk about this tomorrow though? I’m feeling like three rounds is catching up quickly. But, before that…Happy six month anniversary, Castiel.”
I blinked. “Has it really been six months?”
“Yeah, Sunshine.”
“Happy six months, Dean. But, I agree that sleep is needed. We can celebrate tomorrow.”
He laughed. “Oh, I’m sure we can find something to do.”
I brought the cover up over us both, settled back down with him. Both of us were asleep within minutes of the quietness taking over.