Chapter 57: Going Home

POV: Gabby / Zac

Word Count: 2723

November 15, 2009

I had slept during the night, in between her nursing. It wasn’t even dawn yet and I was just feeding her under the soft lights of the room, she was really doing well. She’d lost minimal weight, was a good color, her breathing was perfect. She was perfect from head to toe. Her hair was slightly long and I could tell it would be my hair color as she got older. Her eyes were a warm brown and when you look close enough they had a halo of blue all around them.

I’d never wanted children, that was indeed true. Then in April of 2008 Zac had told me that I’d lost a baby, spontaneous miscarriage that had no cause. I’d realized that babies were something I did want, but at that point I felt like I’d never be able to give that to Zac, nor myself. That karma was telling me because of all my horrible decisions I deserved to lose that one and I deserved to be punished for the decisions and to not have children. I felt like I would screw everything up from the pregnancy to the delivery and everything after.

Here I was, staring down at my sweet baby girl who had her daddy’s nose, his ears and I swear his lips too. I had carried her to full-term status, 37 weeks she depended on me for everything. I had given birth to her without complications or medications. She had latched well the first time and only once had she gotten upset with me. I’d changed diapers, clothes, and kept her safe and warm. As she sucked away I realized that the miscarriage really could have been anything but it was the catalyst to me really seeking help, the catalyst to me believing that I was loveable. It had taken me a long time to fully accept that Zac did love me. Yet with Marisol, I believed it the moment she was laid on my chest.

I ran my fingers across her cheek gently. Everything that I’d gone through lead me right here. Sierra was right, this was where I belonged. This was where I deserved to be. While she and I could have been perfect together, fate lead me to Zac. To break through the walls he built up after Priscilla, to make him see that not every woman was a bitch. He had gotten up several times as well, often checking to see if she needed a clean diaper before handing her to me.

I kissed her forehead when she was done and then just laid down here in the bed, she laid awake for just a bit before her eyes closed and she drifted off.

“I get a feeling she’s going to be spending a lot of time with us in the bed.”

I glanced up to find him awake and watching me. When he’d woken up was beyond me.

“Maybe for a bit, but I know eventually she’ll have to be laid down in her own bed.”

“I never said I’d complain. But I will be very glad to be in our own bed and to be able to be close to you.”

“I know.”

The doctor came in at eight and they took her to the nursery for a final baby check. I really hated to see her being taken out. He gave me a once over as well and by nine when she was brought back starving they were ready to send me home, by ten both of us had a clean bill of health.

“Zac…we can’t leave.”

“Why not?”

“We don’t have her car seat here.”

“Yes we do. It’s in the car already, Shawn brought it up yesterday before work and he went ahead and made sure the straps were adjusted and that it was in the car properly. We may have to adjust them before leaving though, just to make sure.”

We decided that after her next feeding we would leave, it gave him time to pack everything up and take it down to the car but what we would need. I was just watching her lay here when Julian called.

“Hey sweetie. How are you and little Marisol doing?”

“We’re good. We have been cleared to go home, there drawing up the papers now and after the eleven feeding we will head home.”

“Do you feel up for visitors today? Chloe is dying to see her, but I didn’t want to invade.”

“It’s fine. Um, give us a little bit of time to get settled at home though. We need to arrange things. Say three?”

“That’s a good time. Is there anything we can bring either of you?”

“No. Just remind Chloe that we don’t mind her taking photos, but we don’t want any of them posted right now.”

“Not a problem, she hasn’t even told her friends that you had her yet.”

Chloe had turned out to be really nice when it came to that, despite knowing everything in my past she hadn’t posted anything. Added, she didn’t post any photos of us without asking first. At least not ones that aren’t public events, but even then she avoided the ones of me. Zac came back in just as we were hanging up.

“Everything is in the car, I checked the straps and I think they’ll be good. If not, I can adjust quickly. She’s in the middle and I knew you’d ride with her in the back.”

“I’ll let you watch while I change.”

He had gotten dressed before moving things around, but I hadn’t yet. So I got up but found that I needed some assistance still with shoes. It just hurt to bend over much. But Grace assured me that a few days and I’d feel better. Once I was dressed and ready she was ready for her feeding. While I fed her, Zac signed all the release papers.

I then changed her diaper and clothes while she was awake. The gown fit perfectly, looked pretty on her. The hat would keep her head warm and the little stockings would keep those legs warm.

“I’m going to get the car and pull it around, there bringing you down. I want to warm the car up some.”

“I’m going to get some photos.”

He kissed us both and headed out and I did get some photos of her laying on the bed, she was awake currently but I doubted it would last long. We’d gotten some family photos yesterday while others were here.

“Are you ready to go home baby girl?”

There was a knock and I figured it was the nurse but when I looked up to tell her I was ready Lucas was standing by the door. He didn’t move from the door and he had left it opened.

“What are you doing here?”

“I heard you had the baby, I guess I can’t blame anyone for not really telling me.”

“I think you need to leave.”

“Gabriella. I didn’t know.”

I got up and put myself between Marisol and him. “It doesn’t matter.”

“You think..You can’t think I had anything to do with what he done.”

“Why not? He’s your friend Lucas. You came to me with some story about key cards, he got into our apartment when you were there. I don’t believe that you had nothing to do with this.”

“I didn’t help him, I didn’t know he was sending the things to you. I would have told you or Zac if I had.”

“No you wouldn’t have.”

He looked like he was about to step forward but stopped. “What do I have to do to prove that? Do I believe Zac didn’t change? Yes. That was until this tour when he turned down cards, refused to even accept them. Until I saw Marcus at the hospital, they wouldn’t let anyone in the room but he beat the hell out of him. I thought Marcus was right for you but he’s not.”

“You want to prove you had nothing to do with this? Then you tell the police everything they want to know. You should go.”

“I agree that you should go.” Shawn said.

He turned and nodded, held his hands away and left the room. Shawn had a wheelchair with him and I took that as my queue. I wrapped Marisol up and did one last sweep then Shawn wheeled me out.

-Zac-

I couldn’t believe I was bringing my daughter home. A daughter, I can’t believe I have a daughter! I let the car warm up before I went to the front, Shawn was bringing her down and they were just inside the door. I could feel the swell of tears in my eyes. I’d found Mrs. Right and we now had a little family. One in which I hoped got bigger later on, right now one little bundle of joy was enough.

I’d been scared to have a little girl, to know that she could be hurt the way Gabriella had. To know that men exist like Simon and Marcus. It was scary but then again, Marisol had a tough mother and I was sure that Gabriella would make sure she grew up stronger and able to kick anyone’s ass.

Shawn smiled as I took her from Gabby and put her in the car seat, which looked way too big for her, after a quick adjustment I made sure she was covered up well and secured and then helped Gabby.

“Take care of my sister.”

“I will.”

He gave me a hug and then headed back inside. I closed the door and got in myself, but I didn’t move.

“Baby?” She asked.

“What if we get hit on the way home?”

She giggled. “Then you can stomp that asshole into the ground. You’ll be fine Zac.”

I really felt weird driving home, knowing that she was in the car. She was quiet all the way home and even in getting her inside before she had a meltdown. Clearly we’d over stepped her lunch time! Yet there was this crème colored chair sitting in the living room with a large card sitting against the back.

‘To Gabby – So you can rock and feed the Princess in comfort! Love – Jack’

“Did you expect that?” I asked.

“No. I mean, he said he wanted to get something but I’ll take it.”

In fact that is where she went with Marisol and the chair rocked and after putting a boppy pillow under her Marisol got her lunch.

“The house feels kind of cool.”

“I had it set down while we were away. Let me adjust it. I’ll also grab you a blanket for her.”

I re-set the thermostat to a higher temperature, something warmer. I then got a thick blanket for her to put around them. As much as I had wanted to be able to feed my baby, I felt the benefits of this was much better. I’d have all the chances once she started solids and I could do helicopter planes and stuff. While she got her fed I unloaded the car and put things up. I also moved the pack n play, so we can use it for changing. Her swing was already set up and ready for nap times.

I finally sat down about the time she fed again at 3 and then the doorbell rang. She’d mentioned Julian and Chloe coming over so I got up and got it. They came in giving me hugs.

“She’s feeding her right now, so you’ll have to wait.”

“No problem.”

Gabby had laid a blanket up over her and Marisol, so they literally had to wait but I did show them pictures of her. When she was done I got her to change the diaper and then Julian got to hold her.

“Golly she does look just like you. Shawn said she was a copy of her mother, he didn’t lie.”

“She has Zac’s nose, ears and lips.” Chloe said.

“His appetite too!”

“She eating well?”

“Yep. She lost a few ounces but that was it. Beyond that she is healthy.”

Julian smiled. “You know this is the first time I’ve held a baby that actually can be related to me.”

“Well, with me feeding her no one can really stay long but we talked about that and maybe at six months we’ll think about bottles.”

“Honey, don’t worry. I am sure Diana and I will be happy to just see her and be around. We both know the benefits of breastfeeding and if she is happy with Mommy, then we won’t complain.”

“Yeah, Sierra said the same thing. They’d just come stay here.”

Chloe looked at her. “Is it okay if I hold her?”

“Of course Chloe, she’s your niece after all.”

I blinked a bit, Gabby had been more accepting of Chloe as a sister now. She knew it wasn’t going to be a real deal but to include her was good. Julian instructed her and even got the picture.

“Are you going to announce her birth?” She asked.

“We are going to next week. Until then, please don’t post anything.”

“No problem. Would I be able to post pictures of her?”

I looked at Gabriella, that was something we hadn’t thought of.

“If you post pictures with her, I’d prefer that her face not be seen. It’s what we will request with everyone. That way you don’t get bombarded with requests or something. If we post any ourselves where she’s seen, then you can repost or retweet but nothing outside that.”

“Understandable. I know I got a bunch of people that liked the ones from the show. I’ve even gotten weird request to tell you or Zac that this person loves you. I tell them no, it’s weird.”

“I have weird fans at times.” I said.

She smiled. “I can’t believe I have your baby in my arms. That she’s my niece. I never expected to know anyone in the family.”

“I didn’t expect it either.” Gabby said.

When it came time for the next feeding I took her back to Gabby, Julian was in the bathroom and Chloe didn’t feel comfortable getting up with her yet. They didn’t stay too much longer and while Abby, Sierra, and all the family called. They all remained at home, leaving us to have her by ourselves.

“You know we need to see if Thanksgiving can be here.”

“I know. Mom and I talked a bit yesterday while you slept too. She’s going to see if everyone can bring a dish and meet here instead of at their house. Shouldn’t be a problem. Same for Christmas.”

“I love this chair.”

I smiled. “You do look quite comfortable.”

“So…are we going to show her off?” She asked.

“I don’t mind really, I mean eventually some fan will hack an account or find some way to get her picture.”

“And I would rather they be good ones and not stolen or half-ass ones.”

“We can pick one out and do it for People.”

“Works for me.”

I got up and found stuff for dinner and fixed it, she’d eaten at the hospital but my leftovers hadn’t been very settling. I saw Gabby move to the pack n play and change her diaper then she laid her in the swing. She then came to the kitchen to help. She actually got to eat dinner with me before Marisol woke up, after that I cleaned up a bit and got the bedroom ready for bed. I knew she was laying down early and she did lay down at nine. I sent out an update text to everyone, letting them know we were safely at home, that Marisol and Gabby were doing well and that none of the pictures we had sent should be posted anywhere.

I laid down at eleven; watched her nurse again before we all went to bed. Marisol was laying between us. I knew for the next few weeks sleepless nights were going to be very common, but I also knew that for a few weeks the most important thing would be for Gabby to heal and recover from the birth itself and for us both to get use to having her. I had faith we could.