Chapter 44: Goodbyes are hard

POV: Zac / Gabby

Word Count: 3721

September 17, 2009

The doctor’s appointment was longer yesterday than normal, because she wanted them to do another sonogram to see if anything was wrong. After she explained to the doctor that it’s possible she was put to sleep by an unknown substance they ran a battery of blood work and complied with the sonogram. My eyes glued to the screen as they double checked anatomy. I didn’t see a penis this time but they also weren’t really looking for gender, just making sure the baby was developing fine. They gave her a clean bill of health, she was just ahead of where she should be and the blood work all came back normal. It eased her mind but I hated that I’d miss next month’s appointment.

We’d then spend the rest of the day packing and loading the bus and I seen that she was having trouble getting in and out of the bus as she took our bags inside and the few items we bought. I couldn’t imagine how it would be later when she was much bigger.

Today however was the day we left and I’d basically told Taylor and Isaac not to expect me until 3 pm, I was not doing anything but staying right here with her. I didn’t even get up until she did and then after breakfast I drew a warm bath and it didn’t take much convincing to get her in.

“You know I’m going to miss this.” She said.

“Bubble baths?”

“Well, I’ll miss those because unless I wear something Jack can’t help me. Although, I was referring to I would be missing this as in you and I here, just doing nothing.”

“I’m going to miss it too. If you want or need to take a bath, I don’t mind if the girls help. I won’t even mind if it’s Sierra as long as one of you are dressed.”

“I know, I might if it’s bad but right now it’s not bad. You are calling me every day right?”

I kissed her neck. “If I knew it wouldn’t annoy the hell out of you I’d be calling hourly. But yes, I will call every day. Probably around dinner time for us, that way I can sneak off.”

“Anytime is fine with me.”

“Are you absolutely sure you don’t want to go?”

“I am. Jack should be here about 2:30, he’ll drive us there and bring me back.”

I pulled her back and for just a little bit longer held her, felt the baby kick and move. But, I wasn’t stupid. I was going to be gone for up to six weeks and this was the last chance I’d get to be alone with her until I was home, not that she minded because she smiled when I kissed her neck and it didn’t take long for her to move my hand down. Although, the tub wasn’t where I wanted to be.

“We should move.”

“Yeah. We should.”

I got up and helped her out, quick pat down just to remove excess water before I went back to her neck. I could feel her hands around my side, not quite as far as usual. She was just relaxing into the multitude of kisses I was placing all around her neck and shoulders. I liked the way she felt against me and the little sigh she had as I moved my kisses down her neck to her chest, cupping each side and running my tongue over the soft little buds, letting them harden under my touch.

I could even just bury my head in the soft spot between each side, so warm, so soft. Fuck I was going to miss her. I let my hands fall to her ass, light little squeezes and pats, before I moved her to the bed. I just put her on her knees on the side, went after her neck here.

“So mean..”

My hand traveled to her ass, giving it a squeeze. “I don’t want to rush…”

“By all means…take as long as you want.”

I smiled against her shoulder and headed down her spine to her ass where I smothered it in kisses and little nips. I didn’t even really have to ask, when my fingers slipped down between her legs she just leaned forward, fuck that was perfect. I let my left hand move to just lightly circle the clit as I placed kisses all over her thighs, hearing her little noises was working well for me too. I eventually made my way to her placing a well placed lick right up the middle, getting a little lightheaded by the taste and scent of her. I couldn’t resist dipping my tongue inside, letting my fingers just increase the tempo on the clit.

“Fuck, I love when you do that.”

Muhum, which is why I do it really. It really was easier with her laying but this was just fine too. I kept on probing until I could feel her getting close and then I backed off. Despite the growl I heard, but she didn’t quite growl when I got up, a few strokes and I was pushing into her and that was a moan and not a growl. I really didn’t mind being able to see us having sex, it was a bigger turn on to see myself going in and out of her than any porno. I held her hips for a little while until she kept wiggling and moving, then I pulled back.

I leaned over and kissed her shoulder. “Go ahead and lay down.”

I’d learned the last few times the wiggling and moving meant that she was hurting somehow, so a change of position was needed. She moved to her side and I got behind her, this was a good position too, allowed me to reach breast and when needed clit. I also liked that I could get to her neck, kiss her and hear every little noise. I felt her hand reach back and grip my side, it wasn’t to slow me down, more to speed me up.

I was rather shocked when she moved my hand to her throat, but I wouldn’t dare do that right now, but I could hold my hand there, no pressure though. I could feel her getting tight around me.

“Come for me baby.” I whispered right into her ear.

I moved my hand from her neck to the clit, apply just the right pressure to push her on over the edge, screaming my name. That was a memory that I could clutch to for the next six weeks. I followed hers a few thrust later. I just laid here, holding on for dear life. I really didn’t want to get up and move at all, so I didn’t.

She had turned over to face me, burying her head in my neck and the way she held on, she didn’t want to let go either.

“Are you sure you have to go?”

“Unfortunately, I’m not sure Tay and Ike would be pleased to perform without the drummer.”

“I should have…”

“It’s okay baby, they’re going to make sure you’re fine. I’ll call every day and if something happens I’ll cancel whatever I have to. You’ll be fine.”

“What if…”

I raised her head and kissed her, deepened it before pulling back. “You made the decision because it’s what’s best for you and the baby. I know you had problems getting on and off the bus yesterday. You’ll be fine.”

I tightened my grip, it really wasn’t until I could hear her stomach growl that I sighed. “I’ve got to get up don’t I?”

“Well…no, but I think I might better go fix something. She’s not going to be happy if I starve her because I want to lay here another three hours.”

I reluctantly let her get up and she smiled. “Quick shower first?”

Yep, I wasn’t passing that up either and I wanted it to be a long, hot, orgasmic shower but quick is what it was. We then headed downstairs to eat. After that I chose the couch to curl up on with her, no TV. No music just quietness.

“Don’t forget to look at names.” She said.

“I won’t..sure I have to find a girl’s name?”

“Yes, Zac. You have to find girls names.”

“Positive?”

She sighed. “Okay..if you absolutely positively believe this baby is a boy. Even after you saw the sonogram pictures, then find a boy’s name too. No Elijah.”

“I actually was kidding with Elijah…The name that I always had was Joshua Walker Hanson, or Joshua Alexander.”

“Did you want to use your middle name?”

“It’s kind of like a family thing, not the first or anything but some name.”

“Joshua Alexander Walker, if this baby is a boy. But you still have to find girls names.”

“I can handle that.”

She remained curled up right here until the doorbell rang at 2. I got up and let Jack inside and he even brought in like four huge suitcases.

“Are you moving in?” I asked.

“I may as well be, where is my new room?”

“Right there.”

“The lavender room? Nice, least it’ll be tranquil.”

“That was Stella’s hope.” I said.

He took the bags to the room and I presume got somewhat settled in, seeing as we had to leave in thirty minutes I went ahead and got the only bag I had, what I couldn’t leave there.

“Can I see your phone?” Gabby asked.

“It’s on the counter. I’m going to put this in the car.”

I headed out and when I came back she was nowhere to be seen, but I found her sitting in the art room, with her laptop on.

“What are you doing?”

“Backing up your current files and cleaning it out. But, don’t worry. I’ll make sure to leave most of them.”

“Okay. I’m going to pack up those leftovers from lunch, dinner for me. That cool?”

“By all means.”

I did that and when she was done it was time to go, Jack drove us in his car and I felt bad when I checked out to make sure the carpet wasn’t blue. It wasn’t, the carpet and even the seats were more a tannish brown, far cry from blue. He parked at the bus and I found everyone was here, I was a whopping five minutes early.

“I was beginning to think we were going to have to send out the search party.” Andrew said.

They were touring with us as backup musicians again, he looked at Gabby and kind of blinked. Yeah, I may have not mentioned her pregnancy.

“I didn’t want to leave home.”

“I uh…can see why.”

Nicole was already at work, Stella was going with them and I wanted to stay. Taylor, Stella, and Isaac got on followed by Andrew. Demetrius was meeting us there.

“You have to get on the bus Zac.” She said.

“I don’t have too.” I pouted.

Jack put his hand on my shoulder. “I’ll make sure she’s safe Zac. You know we all will do that. It’ll be fine.”

“I know.”

He patted my shoulder and went to his car to wait, she gave me a hug. “Believe me, I don’t want you to go either. But, you have to. You set this tour and made the dates and stuff. I’ll be fine.”

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

I tightened my hug, still being careful. “I am promising you Gabriella, no key cards. I won’t accept them and if they somehow managed to get it in a pocket I’ll throw it away before I even reach the venue. I love you and her and I’m not going to be stupid.”

I felt her lips on my neck and then a slight nip. “I know Zachary. Go, before they come drag you onto the bus.”

I tightened one last time before I let her go and reluctantly went to the bus. I could totally tell that she was about to cry and god knows if I saw that I wasn’t getting on this bus. I was kind of glad Taylor called my name.

“You talk about me being late and shit. You were early and we’re still leaving late!”

“Shut up Tay.” Stella said.

When I turned around she’d moved and gotten in the car, Jack was standing at the door and gave me a thumbs up but I know damn well she was crying. But I got on the bus because I couldn’t see her. DJ smiled as he closed the door. I avoided the windows and put my bag up, stood right here in the hallway. Isaac came from the back and patted my back.

“They’re gone. She’s going to be okay Zac.”

“I know. How the hell do you leave Nicole every time we leave?”

I felt his finger brush across my cheek. “By hiding the tears and pretending things are peachy. By remembering that in several weeks when I get home she’s going to be there waiting for me to get home. Just like Gabby will be and to think, she’ll look different by then. That baby won’t be so little anymore. Jack and the others will take care of her Zac.”

“I know. I just..”

He leaned in. “None of them own cars with blue fibers. Not Andrew, Not Jack, Not Sierra or Heather, not Abby. Sierra will kill someone if they try to hurt her and I get the feeling Heather will too.”

I sniffed. “Why heather?”

“Because if he hurts her, it’ll hurt Sierra and Heather doesn’t want that. Relax Zac. She’s going to be fine.”

I took a moment in the bathroom before going to the back and joining the gang, we were barely on the road when my phone vibrated and I checked it, forgetting it was even on vibrate.

I forgot to tell you….check the pictures on your phone. I also knew that I had to get out of your view or you’d never leave and jack refuses to chase the bus down…

I didn’t think it would be so hard : -( It hasn’t even been an hour and I want to run back. I *might* make it 6 weeks…

I got a smiley in return. I then checked my pictures, she’d wiped out everyone I had on here! But the first one was the 3D sonogram, followed by the gender one, ugh to that one. Then she had pictures of us, some were from what I had on here anyway. But I came to a folder, which I usually didn’t do and when I double tapped it asked me for a password. Password? What in sam hell would she use? I tried our birthday, I tried the due date, I tried our wedding date, both of them and yet, none worked. I sent her a message and all I got in return was an emoticon ghost.

Ghost? It took me several moments to realize that I’d included important dates but not the most important, not one that many people would assume to be important. Halloween. Because it was when we really got together. That password worked and the folder opened. I was so very glad I was in the corner alone. Every single picture in the folder was her! I also understood exactly why they were locked. Every picture was one no one else could see. The more provocative peacock set, several I’d taken after that, some from Newton’s that she knew I particularly liked and mother of god…she included the lace and leather set from Sierra.

“You okay Zac?” Stella asked.

“Yeah.”

I backed out and the folder locked. I took a moment before I pulled her name up, sending a message.

Why on earth would you torture me like this?!?!?!?!

-Gabby-

I could tell in his face that if he saw me crying because he was leaving he wouldn’t be going anywhere, so when whoever distracted him I took the moment to move. Honestly, if I stayed there much longer I’d be getting on that bus too. Jack gave him a few minutes to get on the bus and possibly away from the windows before we left.

“You going to be okay right? I don’t do tears any better than he does.”

“I’ll be fine.”

I remembered and sent the message about the picture and when he asked for the password a simple ghost. I had considered numerous passwords but really everyone knew them but not everyone knew the first time we had sex. In fact only a handful did and they wouldn’t see that as a major date. When I got his text message I smiled.

It’s not torture, it’s a reminder. I love you and I trust you, but if you ever for any reason even remotely consider accepting an offer, you can open that folder and see exactly what you have at home.

I won’t even need to get that far, the first three are all I need. Did you get calmed down? I’m not stupid, you were in the car crying.

I have, we’re going by the grocery store and then to the house.

I’m just going to…I guess play games? I won’t know what to do with no one beating my ass at them.

There is always online…speaking of. I may have snuck you a second copy of that racing game but I know your ability to log in will be super limited.

Yeah :- ( but then I can practice and try to whip your tail when I get home!

Hah! Good luck, I get 24/7 for six weeks!

Ugh! Tay is starting a game so I guess I’ll join and enjoy stomping their asses :D. I love you.

I sent a smiley face and a heart back. Six weeks, was it over yet? I sighed and Jack glanced over.

“He’s not making them come back is he?”

“No. I still say you could have caught up.”

He smiled. “I think you’re both over reacting. You’re going to be perfectly safe and happy and he’s going to be tired and frustrated. You’ll both be fine.”

“I hope so. So, what is our objective at the store?”

He smiled. “I want to make something but I am pretty sure you don’t have some of the ingredients.”

“Make what? Never can tell, we might.”

“Have you had your fish this week?”

“No.”

“Well, a nice little dish I like is kind of like a Mediterranean dish it’s lemon salmon with lima beans. I didn’t see any fresh lima beans or salmon.”

“Yeah, we don’t have either of those.”

“I didn’t think so.”

We went by the store and when he said fresh, he meant it. While there he also got some salad items and dressing he liked. I picked up some odds and ends snack items too. I’d been kind of craving black olives the last few days so I grabbed a jar and some more apples. We then headed to the house. There was nothing strange or abnormal once we arrived and he began to prep dinner.

“Can I ask a odd question.”

“Sure.”

“Is there a reason why Zac said not to leave you with Lucas and why you don’t really want him here without someone else? He was very insistent on those points.”

I shifted on the little bar stool. “Lucas makes me uncomfortable. Not like to the point where I believe he would hurt me or anything, but enough that I’d rather not be alone with him.”

“Like he does what?”

“When the guy first started sending things he sent some thongs, black ones. Expensive ones. I had them on the counter at the apartment and he just picked them up and was asking about them. Little bit odd. But, then after that we were eating and I had a lower cut shirt on. He wouldn’t stop staring. Zac even called him out on it, and he’s been more careful but I have caught him staring at me.”

“I wasn’t sure, Lucas didn’t seem like a bad dude and I hadn’t seen anything odd. But, those warrant uncomfortable.”

“Yeah.”

“Is there any nightly rituals I should be aware of?”

“Nope. I generally go to bed when Zac does, but I guess it’ll be when I get tired. Which falls usually between five in the afternoon and midnight.”

He giggled. “Understood. I know this isn’t the situation you wanted and by all means don’t let this feel like we’re babysitting you. We’re not. You are grown Gabby, if you want me to leave you alone then say it. But, I can’t leave the house.”

“I know.”

Watching someone else cook was weird. But the dish? Oh my god it was mouth watering.

“You know…you spoil me and you have to stick around.”

He smiled. Yet, the afternoon felt different. I actually headed to bed kind of early, electing to watch a show as I laid there but while the baby seemed calm, I couldn’t sleep. I tried but I couldn’t find a good position. It was 1:30 when I sat up, frustrated that I couldn’t sleep. I went down to the kitchen and got a apple and tried to just settle my brain. I then went back to bed but that didn’t seem to help. I was confused when my phone light up, but I checked.

I hope you aren’t asleep, because I can’t sleep…

I started to reply then called. “I didn’t wake you up right?” He asked.

“No. I was awake. I couldn’t sleep either.”

“You should be.”

“I can’t get comfortable.”

“Baby not being a pain in the belly?”

“Oddly, no. She’s calm.”

“This sucks.”

“Agreed. I think I keep looking for you to curl up around and you aren’t here.”

“I think I keep waiting to be used as a pillow, I may have to stuff the bunk with pillows.”

“I hope not, you’ll be falling out.”

“Nope, I’m on the bottom. The junk bunk is above me.”

“Nice.”

I leaned back and we talked for a little bit before it really did become clear, we needed to sleep and then we hung-up. It still felt like it took me forever to fall asleep.