Chapter 32: Shattered Swans

POV: Zac / Gabby

Word Count: 3309

July 15, 2009

I woke up before Gabby, which was actually becoming a common thing. She was laying on her side and it was like 5 am, we didn’t have to be at the studio until 8. So I scooted myself closer and curled up behind her. She just kind of slightly moved back some, getting closer.

It was odd how she seemed to be showing a lot more now than she was just two weeks ago, she wasn’t able to wear anything she owned before but the skirts and dresses, she was suppose to go with Abby tomorrow to the store, she was fearing that she wouldn’t have enough pants to make it through the colder months and she was going to find some pajamas type bottoms, shirts she could wear mine and be fine.

I laid my hand over her waist and was about asleep again when I felt something against my hand. I laid there several minutes, thinking I’d totally imagined that. But, moments later there was another odd feeling against my hand.

I sat up some confused and I heard her slightly giggle. “You felt that too?”

“What is that?”

“That is your baby.”

“That’s the baby?”

“Yeah, you didn’t wake me up, he or she did. It’s clearly the baby now.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I wasn’t really sure until yesterday, I was napping in the control room and felt a kick. That was not gas or reflux or even heartburn. I also don’t always feel the movements, just when he or she decides to do yoga.”

I laid my hand back, could barely feel movements.

“Is that why you’re are more happy about this?”

She turned a little bit so she was looking at me. “Movement means life. Long as he or she is moving, I know things are okay. I’ll only worry if I can’t feel any kind of movement.”

“He is going to be fine.”

I leaned down and kissed her, curled back up. It was a warm and fuzzy feeling to know our baby was moving and kicking and very much okay. I did drift back off because she woke me up before the alarm went off. We got up and got ready, she chose the same pink dress she wore for the fourth only she left the blue jean vest in the closet. I went with shorts myself because it was hot outside.

We headed down and made breakfast, which lately was eggs, sausage and toast.

“What is your plan for the day?” I asked.

“Nothing really specific, I plan to nap sometime today and just work on whatever. I want to add a portrait to the website to showcase the ability to do them but I haven’t decided who.”

“Did you want baby or adult?”

“I can do either of them really.”

“Why not just use one of my baby pictures?”

“Seriously Zac? Like fans won’t flock to that.”

“Didn’t Shawn send you a picture of himself as a baby?”

“Yes, he did. I guess I could use him.”

“I think it would be good.”

“Good idea. I can ask Sarah about using Nickolas but I really do want to avoid family members, so I may just use one of mine or find someone online.”

“Yeah, as long as it’s a showcase of talent I think you can do pretty much anyone.”

She hopped up and went and got what she’d need from the painting room, she’d gotten it set up while Carrick was here so she had a place for everything and the lower shelves were just extra canvases, when I asked she said she didn’t want the baby to get to any kind of paints, even though she had well over a year before he would be that curious. She came back with the smaller portfolio that she got for travel. We were at the studio by eight, but Taylor was running late.

“Stella found a spot and they had to sign some papers this morning.” Ike said.

“Ahh, makes sense. So, what is our plan for the day?”

“We need to finish up demo’s and start recording stuff. We have tons of stuff demo’d and done.”

“You know you guys ventured from the classical sounds of Hanson.” She said.

“What?” Ike and I both asked.

“You deviated, the album sounds…more upbeat and happy. More blues sounding. I like the song Give a Little, it’s really upbeat and happy.”

“You actually know that one?” Ike asked.

“Dude, I’ve heard them all fifty times. I considered maybe recording a snip and putting it up, but you guys usually reserve that for the website.”

“You can share if you’d like, but nothing really long or anything that totally gives away stuff.” Ike said.

“Yeah, the few I have are rather long. Maybe when you record single parts I’ll come grab some snippets.”

He smiled and we went ahead and jammed a bit while waiting on Taylor, when he arrived at 9:30 Stella was with him but the girls went off to the front and we got busy!

-Gabby-

Feeling the baby move was my moment to realize that it wasn’t just a little black and grey picture, wasn’t just a weight gain. There was a little tiny human being developing in me and this little person was alive and moving. It was a strange feeling. But, Stella had wanted to ask me about some customized art work for the new store, something she felt would be nice.

“Well? What happened this morning?”

“I have purchased a lot and we’re using Marello as the construction company. It’ll be one single story and I am taking your sister’s advice with more school oriented and doing some things that may appeal to school students with their studies.”

I blinked. “My sister?”

“Yes, Chloe.”

I didn’t immediately respond to that, I knew who she was and all but I wasn’t sure if I’d claim her as my sister.

“Gabby? Do you not see her as your sister or someone kin to you?”

“Should I? Only sibling I have is Shawn. I mean, Julian really isn’t my mom.”

She frowned. “Then why did you go see her?”

“Trusted adult Stella, I didn’t have many of those.”

She sat down. “Why stay to see Chloe then? Why bother to help her with homework or draw that for her?”

“I was being nice. I am capable of that.”

“She’s Julian’s step-daughter and like it or not you are her daughter too. Come on Gabby, I won’t pretend that I understand what being adopted is like, I don’t. Julian may not have changed diapers or fed you but she was there for you anyway.”

“You’re right, you don’t know what it’s like. Julian didn’t need to change diapers, by the time she adopted me I was potty trained, I was feeding myself, I was dressing myself. I was already smart enough to know they weren’t my parents.”

“But you called her Mom anyway.”

“This has nothing to do with Chloe.”

“I remember her from the old store, she use to come in with a few friends. I knew she was a fan, often heard them talking about the band and I saw pictures and stuff on the things they had. She was always polite and never once did she ask me how the guys were or if I could hook her up.”

I just waited, what that had to do with anything was beyond me as well.

“I got in touch when I was deciding a direction, contacted prior customers and I met with her. Do you know what she asked me?”

“I wasn’t there, so no.”

“She asked me how you were, if I got to hang out with you. She asked me what you were like. She never asked me about the guys, didn’t ask he about the two of you. Every question she asked me was about you. When I asked why, she said you were her sister and she just wanted to know. I asked why, because really I was like you. Wanna guess what she said?”

I just looked at her. “Not really.”

“She said she looked up to you. That while she had an older sibling already, that you inspired her. You don’t have to see her as a sister to talk to her or interact with her.”

“Wouldn’t that be leading her on?”

“Why close yourself off from the possibility? You have an older brother already, you telling me that you never wanted to be him? That you never wished you were older and could take care of him? Never wished there was someone looking up to you?”

“Stella, you’re barking up the wrong tree. I never wanted to be anything, I didn’t want to be in his place. After he left I wished I didn’t even have him. Wished I was an only child. Julian said the same thing, but Chloe isn’t my sister.”

“Sister’s don’t have to be by blood. Abby calls you her sister. Taylor and Isaac refer to you as their sister, you’re Nicole’s sister and you’ll be mine soon too. None of us are your blood relatives either. Chloe doesn’t have to be related to you.”

“I’m not a good role model.”

“Yes, you are. Who better to give her advice about men? Who better to encourage her to not let some man be like Simon? Who better to encourage her to follow her dreams? She looks up to you already because you’ve been through so much, even if she doesn’t know all of it. She talks about you and Gabby, she wants to know you.”

“I’ll think about it. Pretty sure by now she knows about the baby too.”

“I talked to her before the public announcement, but I figure she does too. She did congratulate you both on the forum.”

“She did?”

“Yeah. Fourth or fifth one I believe.”

“I’ll have to think about it Stella, I’m not sure I can be what she wants.”

She smiled. “I think you can be. But, I gotta get going. I need to go speak to Marello and get the plans together.”

“Ok.”

I gave her a hug and she headed out. I set about to complete the portrait of Shawn and while I was drawing I did think about Chloe. In all honestly, I hadn’t considered the chance of having younger siblings. Why? Because I knew Julian couldn’t have children and none of the other foster families had children younger than me.

But, what kind of role model would I be to her? Multiple sexual partners, usually to survive and then staying with Simon so long, dealing with Max. But, then Stella had a point, I would caution her on those and remind her she’s worth more.

“Baby, hello?” Zac asked.

“Huh?” I asked.

I hadn’t even heard him come in let along realize they were all here and sitting food bags down!

“You weren’t drawing anything but you looked as if you were somewhere in space.”

“Was just thinking.”

“We’re all safe right?” Ike asked.

“Yes.” I said.

“What were you thinking about? That is unless it was Zac all nude, we’ll pass on that.”

“No, no nudeness. Stella mentioned my sister and I was confused, she meant Chloe.”

“Is that Julian’s step-daughter?” Isaac asked.

“Yeah. She said I’d be a good role model but, I’m not so sure.”

Isaac giggled. “Being the role model isn’t easy, but I think Taylor and Zac turned out okay.”

I raised an eyebrow. “They followed your lead in multiple sexual partners. Not sure that’s okay.”

“Okay, I fucked up there. But, I mean really. I kept them off drugs, away from gangs.”

Taylor and Zac exchanged looks. “Since when did you do that shit?” Taylor asked.

“Come on, you guys know you look up to me.”

“I think he has you there. But, Chloe is 16. I don’t know. I just…I don’t know.”

Taylor leaned forward some, took a bite of his taco and after swallowing he looked at me.

“Chloe looks up to you already, whether you want her too or not. Stella told me about her, how she asked about you and only you. But, I think what you are fearing more is replacement. Shawn will always be your big brother Gabriella. Nothing will change that. You’ll always be his little sister, nothing changes that. You can however accept new siblings, I mean Ike and I are your older brother’s too.”

“I wasn’t thinking she could replace him or I.”

“I think you’ll enjoy being older for a change. You did well with her the last time we were there. You helped her with homework, drew for her, she never posted the picture and if she did it’s private where no one can see it.” Zac said.

“She didn’t?”

“No.”

“I’ll think about it.”

It was Isaac that answered the mailman when he buzzed. He brought back three large boxes, two of which were theirs. Some new drum part Zac ordered to replace one Taylor somehow broke and the other box was just key chains and tattoo sets for the website store. But the third box was mine.

I stared at the label because the box was big, could be anything including parts of Simon.

“Do you want me to open it?” Zac asked.

“No. Is there a return address?”

“No. But postage says it was mailed locally on Monday.” He said.

I used scissors to cut the tape holding the flaps down and then carefully eased them back. There was little packing in the box and I carefully removed it, but didn’t let them touch anything. Inside the box was the swan painting that had sold weeks ago. I recognized it only because I saw my signature, the frame was broken, the canvas was split and shredded in places. It had been destroyed.

“Is that your painting?” Taylor asked.

I nodded. “It’s the swan I painted a while back. Debbie sold it at auction.”

I got a pair of gloves from the drawer before I moved the edges, on the back of the one of the pieces of canvas was red markings when I could clearly see them I stepped back.

Zachary doesn’t deserve you! He never has and he never will! Neither of you deserve to be having a child, that baby should be OURS!

“I think you should call the detective, these aren’t thank you gifts.” I said.

Zac made the call and for the second time a technician was dusting for prints. Someone paid five thousand for that painting and then they destroyed it.

Detective Myers came into the sound room when they were done, clearly Mabis was in there handling the processing of the items.

“The painting has your signature on it, is it one of yours?”

“Yes. I painted it in February, Debbie at the art gallery posted it for an online auction in May. It sold for five thousand and Mabis traced it thinking the guy sending this stuff bought it. Clearly he did. But, some girl picked it up and she was paid to leave it behind the studio if I remember correctly.”

“Is there anyone that comes to mind about these things?”

“I’ve given him all of the people I knew or think could be doing this. Is the red stuff blood?”

“No. It’s acrylic paint and it has brush strokes so he used a brush to put it on there.”

“I didn’t let anyone touch it once I opened it and I’m the only one that touched the packing.”

I hadn’t though the owl was from the same place but fearing it might be I had them take it too.

Taylor and Isaac sat with us and it was clear they were trying to help too. None of us could think of a friend that was capable of doing the horrific things that occurred to Simon and even Max. Sure, any of them could send the packages and sure Lucas felt like Zac hadn’t changed. But, Lucas couldn’t afford the five thousand for the painting and even if he could, Zac had said he had no negative reactions to being told I was pregnant. I just wanted it over with.

“Could this be Damien?” Zac asked.

“I really want to say no, but right now I don’t know.”

He kissed my forehead. “Why don’t you come hang out with us?”

“I need to finish that drawing.”

“There is a sofa back there. Humor us please? I think that was a subtle I’d like to see you and know you’re okay. That is my reason anyway.” Isaac said.

“Mine too.” Zac said.

Once the officers, detectives, and the like had gone I moved to the rear of the studio with them, taking up a place on the sofa which had been moved numerous times already. I worked on Shawn’s baby picture drawing using the photo for the reference. Adding the border, I added a place for a name but didn’t add his. Not yet anyway, I would later once I’d scanned it and saved the image.

Whoever had bought the painting was clear in their intention, they were mad that I was pregnant. Would that make them come after me? I wasn’t getting any creepy phone calls, no text messages or e-mails from anyone I didn’t know. So, either the person didn’t have that information or they were choosing not to use it. Yet, they kept sending me little figurines and even thongs, they clearly knew where the studio was, where our old house was, and the new one. So, I was certain they also had the phone number and e-mail addresses.

Sure, if it was someone we knew a phone call would give them away, I’d recognize the voice. But, text messages could come from any phone, e-mails could be from anyone. But those were impersonal, sending packages with handwritten notes was more personal. The fact that everything seemed to be wiped clean said this person was smart or knew police procedure.

I finally tried to get my mind off of negative things and watched them as they took a demo for Waiting for This and finalized a song, when they went to record the tracks I did take a few 10 seconds snippets and put them on twitter, I also took a picture for Instagram. Getting likes from Heather within minutes and an Instagram reply.

Damn that snippet sounded awesome on Twitter – Is that from the new album?!

It is! I’ve been pleased enough to hear all the new songs including full versions of that. I have to say, it’s chalking up to be a kick-ass album.

How are you and the little one? I cannot wait for the reveal!

Little bean (not so much a bean though, likes to kick my kidney) and I are well. I so want to know Monday! But, alas, Abby will kick my ass if I find out before her party reveal.

Bahaha – she will! She’s been in planning mode for sure.

Abby chimed in as well. Yes. I will kick your ass if you find out and planning is going well. Your place okay or do I need to ask Heather?!

Either/Or. It doesn’t really matter. Heather’s local is going to be bigger and if you plan to invite the whole family, might be better. But Zac is promising me dinner so just you two talk it out. IDC where.

Both replied with will do messages and I got up and got my things. We ended up at Olive Garden with Stella, Nicole, Isaac and Taylor. It was pleasant. When we got home I got to change into my pajamas, but I was so tired I’d missed my nap! So, we went to bed early.