Chapter 42: Illusions

POV: Zac

October 12, 2008

The last few days have been dragging for me, the numerous promos, shows, events, and trying to at least spend five minutes with my wife was very exhausting. I’d wanted to do something just she and I last Sunday but all I could do was sleep. I’d tried to plan lunches, dinners, or some time to just sit down and be there but every time I found an opening Taylor or Isaac would accept another promo and they’d bitch if I didn’t want to go.

It’s where we were now, driving through State College, Pennsylvania to another radio interview, another event. When I rather be at the venue with her.

“What’s after this?”

“Another radio gig and then the venue for the walk.” Ike said.

He sounded as worn out as he looked. Taylor on the other hand looked like he’d slept twelve hours and had a cup of coffee, but the one in his hand was his fourth. They weren’t fending many questions about Stella or Nicole, Ike had a few about his engagement but the major focus was me.

Why did you settle down? What did this one girl have the rest didn’t? Is she a hot blonde? Not blonde, that’s absurd everyone said you loved the blondes. Do you still chase the blondes? Did your wife really beat up a fan? This girl says you wrongly accused her, is that true? Share some details Zac, no one knows this mysterious woman. Vegas wedding, was that fun? Were you guys drunk or something?

The questions were endless and some quite invasive as one radio host went as far as to ask me whether my wife shaved her pubic region or not. As if that was anyone’s fucking business but hers, well, maybe mine sometimes. I didn’t mind doing radio shows but fuck ask me about the album, the walks, the purpose and not about my wife or private life.

We arrived at like 9:15 and was ushered around the building for an hour before they sat us down with the talk show’s host, he was a balding man in his 40’s, but on the microphone he was good as he was energetic and enthusiastic. He introduced us, asked some pretty basic questions, played the single and I knew when he asked Isaac about Nicole that the questions were coming. He asked Taylor when he was hopping on the bandwagon but he didn’t have a concrete answer for him.

“This says you’re married Zac?”

“Yes, it’s fast approaching a year actually, November.”

“I bet she’s a hot blonde isn’t she?”

“Uh, actually she’s not blonde at all. My wife is a brunette. I don’t have a definitive reason why she’s the one I wanted to marry.”

“Nice. We saw some pictures actually, quite hot she is.”

If he’d seen pictures of us, why the fuck did he ask if she was blonde? It’s quite obvious she’s not. There did not exist a picture of Gabby with blonde hair, not dyed or a wig.

“I agree.”

“There was a rumor earlier that she was actually dating the opening band’s drummer, a female. Sierra, she has filled in with Everybody Else for a while now. Is there any truth to that?”

“No. Their friends. I don’t mean to be harsh here but can we not focus on my private life? I’m not going to answer any more questions related to my relationships, my wife, or what we do. We’re here to discuss our music.”

Isaac and Taylor looked at me, questioning. I didn’t mean to be rude but the guy at the first interview asked the same fucking questions. I was getting tired of them and yet he clearly didn’t listen as his next questions asked me about what we do in the bedroom. Point blank asked me if it was her sexual abilities was the reason I married her! I just took the headset off and got up.

“I’m done. I’ll wait for you guys.”

I walked out of the booth, I was taking time away from my wife to be interviewed and they can’t even fucking respect me to not ask? Fuck them. I waited on Taylor and Isaac and I expected them to be mad and sure Ike was but he waited until we were in the car, squished in the backseat with me in the middle.

“What the fuck was your problem?” Isaac asked.

“My problem? It should be fucking obvious Ike. I told him not to ask me any more questions about us, yet his next one was if her sexual ability was the reason? What the fuck kind of question is that to ask someone? They’re not asking you if Nicole’s ability to fuck you is why you asked.”

“I didn’t just up and marry her out of the blue either!”

“Ike, come on. He has a point. He told the guy not to ask any more questions and he did.” Tay said.

“He stormed out! That’s not the image we need, hot headed little brother that storms out of interviews.”

“I wouldn’t have left if he hadn’t asked!”

“You’ve been ill as fuck for weeks now, what the fuck is the problem?”

The cab driver glanced up but kept his mouth shut and so did I. I shouldn’t have to explain the problem to him, I shouldn’t have to say we haven’t had sex since the Monday before we left. I didn’t say anything else and we got to the next interview pretty quick, to stop any issues I told the DJ before we went on the air I wouldn’t answer any questions related to my wife, my private life or any other subject unless it was about our album, tour, or walk purpose. This guy was respectful! He asked them but didn’t ask or mention anything about her. Best interview ever!

We got a riding lunch and ate on the way to the venue, fans were lining up already, so we headed inside to get the route set. I could hear the drums being played so I walked to the front, it wasn’t anything that I was use to so I knew it had to be something she’d learned or played before. I paused at the side entrance still out of her view. Gabby was sitting at the drums like usual, but Sierra was standing right in front of her and I was pretty sure my wife’s eyes were on her ass, it didn’t even help when Sierra moved, her hands stayed on Gabby. Moving up and down her arms, it wasn’t really a movement that was all friendly.

Gabby often looked quite different when she moved away. It wasn’t the first time I’d seen them like this either. In Orlando I saw more than the others did, I saw Sierra straddling her lap and that catsuit, saw the way Gabby looked at her. I’d seen little moments like those alot, Sierra had even sat in Gabby’s lap on the bus, even when there was enough room for everyone to sit on the seats.

It was getting hard to ignore it and I really wanted to say something to Gabby about it, but I trusted her. She wouldn’t cheat on me. Would she? She had slept with Sierra more than once without Newton knowing and she wasn’t throwing me against walls or into bathrooms.

“Are you spying on them?” Austin asked.

“Not really, well, maybe.”

“Least there not trying to kill one another, I like this friendly nature more.”

“Yeah, I think I liked it better when they didn’t talk.”

He looked out at them, Sierra was leaned down whispering something in her ear and the look on her face wasn’t quite shock or fright.

“You can’t think…”

“It’s not hard Austin, I know she cheated on Newton with her. She’s openly confessed to loving her.”

“But she married you.”

“Yeah, but Sierra never got a chance.”

“Come on Z, Gabby knows what it’s like, she’s not going to do that. I admit that this doesn’t look that great.”

“It doesn’t look great, even I admit but don’t worry Zac, Gabby won’t go with her and Sierra wouldn’t even if she agreed.” Carrick said.

“How do you know?”

“Because I told Sierra a few weeks ago if her intention was to try to get her to bed, I’d fire her myself.”

“Oh.”

They left me standing there but really, his words provided little comfort. If they wanted too, they weren’t going to be that public or get caught. It was just another thing on my list of worries, I wanted her to have friends and be social but I didn’t want her to forget about me. I finally walked onto the stage and per usual, the moment Sierra saw me she backed away as if they were doing something wrong. The flushed color of my wife’s face and the look in her eyes wasn’t comforting either.

“So, did you marry me for my sexual abilities?” Gabby asked.

I looked at her confused. “What?”

“The radio host asked you and you just left, never answered. We heard the interview while we were setting up.”

“Oh, I was wondering. No, I didn’t. At least not solely for them.”

“Well, that’s good. I can’t believe they have pictures and still asked if I was blonde, dude I need to get a blonde wig and just wear it for the hell of it.”

“Uh.no. Black maybe not blonde. Walking today?”

“No. Austin saw Damien this morning while we were unloading, he was like watching the bus. Austin called the cops but he was gone when they arrived. So, I think it’ll be better if I stay inside. He’s like getting more brave. I called Mabis and told him.”

“Stay with me, he won’t mess with you then.”

“Every time you tell me that I end up somewhere with Isaac or Taylor.”

“Just stick your hand in my pocket and make them stay away.”

I truthfully liked when she walked with us, it made me feel like we spent some time together.

“I think she should stay Zac, we don’t know what he wants.”

Or she didn’t want to come with me but wanted an hour alone here with her? I tried to rationalize that they were right Damien wasn’t being harassing or anything, but the fact that he was around was a problem. So I didn’t keep on, just found the others.

“You okay Zac?” Tay asked.

“Yeah, Gabby didn’t want to walk today. Damien was seen this morning and it seems like every time I tell her she can stay with me, she ends up somewhere else.”

“It’ll be fine man, if his intentions are to hurt her then it’s probably better. Even with you he may not care.”

“He won’t come near her with me there but anyway, where are we going?”

I could hear the drums as we talked and I tried to focus, but it was hard. I decided that I needed to speak to her, I had too because this was stupid. I wanted to say that for sure she wasn’t fooling around but it was getting hard to ignore the subtle looks, touches, and the way they acted. She’d known Abby far longer and they didn’t act that way at all.

The speech was a blur to me, the first half was a blur too, I was sure people thought I was insane. I was standing alone to the side when I felt a keycard slip into my pocket, but when I turned it wasn’t a blonde! She didn’t look like any fan we’ve ever had. She was about Gabby’s height, long black hair that was straight, she had a come get me attitude look. She had on a black tank that showed a vine tattoo on her arm and tight black pants with heels.

“I’m sure you want to follow me home.”

I got her card from my pocket and held it out. “Sorry, I’m married.”

She didn’t take it just smiled. “I know you are. I can take you places you’ve never been.”

“So can my wife. I don’t want your card.”

She got really close to me. “Believe me, you want to come to my room.”

She then walked away and I was left with this card. Fuck, if Gabby saw the card then sure enough it wouldn’t end well. I put it up and we headed back and I considered not bothering but she was waiting in the lobby when we got back. Clearly she already knew because she didn’t look all that happy.

I just handed it to her. “She refused to take it back, figured the trash would be a good place.”

“Damien saw you, sent me the picture.”

“I figured when you here waiting, but come on Gabby I wasn’t using the card and it was going in the trash like the others.”

“The others? There were other cards you threw away?”

“Yes. Because not all of would give me time to hand them back and decline. They all went in the trash.”

“Positive about that?”

I paused because that was clearly an accusation and I know it was just insecurities and really we needed to talk. Because I was about to really say something stupid and irrational.

“I’m positive.” I replied.

I didn’t want to say anything about her actions, not at this moment when people were around. It was far better to deal with this in private.

“Stage is set up, everything is ready for you guys to sound check.”

I went on back and I knew I needed to talk to her. We had some time late this week and I found Taylor and Isaac and I informed them not to schedule anything for Friday because I was going to do something with Gabby, I didn’t care if it was just a few hours sitting on the bus or sitting at some random coffee shop. They agreed with me and marked their own personal calendars with no’s so they wouldn’t schedule anything else. We then did our sound check which Gabby stood to the side and waited in case there was a wire wrong somewhere, but things went well. The show that night even went very good, but during the acoustic portion of the show I saw the same woman, Gabby was elsewhere in the building but even with her dark hair, she did nothing for me.

I was almost settled with my thoughts that Gabby and Sierra were nothing but as we left to the next city it was reiterated when Gabby chose her lap instead of mine to sit in. Couple days and I could ask her and explain why I was feeling this way and hopefully her answers had nothing to do with divorce or wanting to be with her.

I hated feeling this way because I loved Gabby. She was everything I wanted and I didn’t want to be without her.