Chapter 33: Everybody Else

POV: Gabby

August 4, 2008

Because the boys were catching up from Taylor’s illness Zac had me drop him off at the studio and then I went to my appointment alone. It wasn’t the first time I had gone alone, so it wasn’t a big deal. I was to get breakfast on the way back though. I arrived a little early and waited until she called my name.

“Good morning Gabriella. How are you feeling today?”

“Sleepy actually, we had a long weekend. We spent Saturday and Sunday with his cousin Sarah and her family.”

“Oh? The one with the little baby?”

“Yes, Stephanie. She’s over a month now.”

“How was that for you and Zac?”

“It’s getting easier honestly. He seems much better and I think it’s because he was always aware of second chances and didn’t have that guilt associated with it. He still gets misty eyed from time to time though, he did Sunday when I got to feed her. She’s pumping now so it was something new.”

“Did it go well? Feeding the baby?”

“It did, she spit up all over me but it was a good experience for me. We also saw Michael yesterday for a little bit and he’s still sketchy but he’s older and not wanting to be held now.”

“It’s good that you can be around them and not feel so badly afterwards. So, last time you were here we were talking about Newton. You had mentioned Sierra but you clammed up on her.”

Yeah, I hadn’t and don’t want to talk about her, but she was pivotal to that time frame and I couldn’t just skip it.

“She is a sore spot.”

She came out from behind her desk and sat down in the chair across from me. “I understand she is a sore spot for you, but maybe you need to talk about her some. How did you meet her?”

It took me several minutes to unbury those memories. “I met Sierra in June of 2000, I’d seen her in April and May but in passing. When I agreed to join the tour as the roadie Newton introduced me to her. She was the lead singer for Twisted Metal.”

“The band Newton was in?”

“Yes. He was the Bass player. Tera was on keys and I’d met her in March and Alexander Cornell was the drummer.”

“Did you have friendships with the other people there?”

“Well, Tera and I slept together in July with Newton there. Um, it wasn’t major or a deal breaker. Alexander and I never had a close relationship, Newton did ask me once if I would consent to them both but I told him no.”

“Was there a reason you said no?”

“I didn’t find Alexander attractive. By that point I’d met Sierra and we had been talking more.”

“So, tell me about her.”

“She was different, I felt attracted to her when I met her but I wasn’t sure how she was or how she’d be. But she and I often talked a lot at night, she and I are basically the same age so we had a lot in common. She was teaching me how to play the drums because she knew how and I wanted to learn.”

“Was she a good teacher?”

“Yes. I learned all the basics from her and when I met Simon he taught me the harder things. But, Sierra taught me how to keep a tempo and keep up. Alexander sometimes helped but usually he didn’t care.”

“So you were good friends?”

“Yes. She um..found out about Tera and I, at that point I’d been with Tera twice, Newton had taken pictures and she found one. She apparently asked Newton if he would share me with her, he agreed as long as she didn’t mind the photos. It was toward the end of the tour, right around my birthday when he took me to her as a present.”

“Did you agree to that?”

“I felt nervous and afraid until she touched me. After that I just kind of melted. I wasn’t told but I didn’t have a problem once she touched me. She was different in a good way, like she took pleasing her partner seriously. Tera never did it was more for the camera than me.”

“It sounds like you were maybe a little more attracted to her than you were Tera.”

“I’d wanted to ask Newton for months about her. I told him I wanted too but not that I’d ever ask.”

“Did your relationship with her change after that?”

“Oh yeah, I wasn’t afraid of how she’d react if I got in her lap, or if I did things on purpose, like teasing her. It moved from friends to little more than friends.”

“Did you sleep with her without Newton?”

“Yes. The last six months of our relationship I was meeting her pretty regularly. It was just after my birthday when she told me she loved me. We were at her hotel room, another tour and she just dropped it on me.”

“How did it make you feel?”

“I was terrified.”

“Why?”

“Shawn and Max had both left, after telling me they loved me and they wouldn’t. When she told me I just assumed she was about to do the same thing. I knew I had until the end of the tour at least, because she wouldn’t abandon the band, she would remain. I also knew Newton and Mary were hooking up, I just had no proof. Start of November I walked in on them, when I said I was leaving he pointed out I’d been doing the same thing. I was never leaving because of him, I left because I was afraid she’d leave and I had realized that I loved her too.”

“What did you do when you left?”

“I didn’t take much with me so I needed to get back here, I mostly hitchhiked and did things I’m not totally proud of, when I got here I realized I had nowhere to go. So I went to Tera.”

“She wasn’t with you then?”

“No. She left the band after the first tour. Honestly, I think she left because of me. She kept wanting more but once I was with Sierra I didn’t want anyone else. She was replaced by a guy but I didn’t speak to him much at all. She let me in, let me cry, gave me a heavy line of cocaine and then took me to bed. It was easy to forget. The tour ended a week after I got back and I know Sierra came home, but then she went off to California and I didn’t hear from her again until this past year.”

I explained the encounters that occurred this year as well, including how she still sent me text messages.

“Do you feel like she wants more from you now or that she really does just want to be friends?”

“I don’t know but I can’t have another person telling me my marriage is a sham or not real. She didn’t listen and she missed seven years of my life. She thinks I can just be that person I was then and I can’t be.”

She nodded but our time was coming to an end, so she went ahead and ended our session for the day. I went by and got breakfast for everyone on the way back and then went straight to the studio. I was almost there when my phone rang and I just answered, it was bound to be Zac asking where I was.

“Hey, I’m almost there.”

“It’s been a long time since I heard those words. I’m sure the meaning isn’t the same. Did you have fun then Gabriella?”

I just hung up and sped up until I was there. I didn’t answer the phone when he called back.

“Gabs? You look a little pale.” Isaac said.

“Yeah, did something happen?”

“Damien called.”

“He...called?” Zac asked.

“Yeah, I didn’t look just answered.”

I couldn’t deny that the hug felt nice and comforting and I told him what was said as well. Damien really hadn’t been as bad as Simon, occasionally sending me a message or asking me if I remembered something. I hadn’t really heard his voice in a while, he’d been over just before Simon kicked me out.

“Is he being like Simon?” Taylor asked.

“Not near as bad as Simon. He hasn’t sent a lot of messages really, first time he’s called.”

“Well, don’t worry about him.” Isaac said.

“With three big bad protectors do you think I worry about anyone? I mean, Zac alone can stomp his ass.”

“Anytime.”

We sat down and ate and then they went to the studio and I followed them because I wanted to hear more of their songs and be familiar with them at least. It also was a good time to draw them, I had gotten several of Taylor and Isaac playing and even Zac.

“Are you drawing blackmail pictures over there?” Taylor asked.

I glanced up and smiled. “Wouldn’t you want to know.”

“I do want to know!”

Isaac and Zac laughed and I laughed with them. “No, Tay they are just good ones. I mean you have a nice backside and I am sure the fans would trip over themselves for them but I’d rather like your face and especially yours eyes.”

“Are you drawing them for fans?” Isaac asked.

“Not really. But you guys are here and so willing.”

When the studio phone blared out they scrambled to answer it and I just giggled, Zac would beat them anyway and he did but they all huddled around. It was excited chatter between them all and when they hung up they seemed pleased.

“I’ve totally missed something haven’t I?”

“Everybody Else is going to be our opener again, we’re going to go post it now!” Isaac said.

It took me several minutes to connect that and by then they were all out of the room, excited to finally announce the opener. But, if Everybody Else was opening…was Sierra also going to be there?

I called Carrick myself, I had his number from long before, when he sent me that first picture of Zac.

“Hello Mrs. Hanson, to what do I owe the call?”

“I just heard you’re opening but…do you have a drummer?”

“Sierra has agreed to be the drummer for us, we don’t have time to find someone else.”

“But…”

I paused, I couldn’t ask him not to use her when she knew the album and it was a month away now, there was no way someone else could learn the music that quickly.

“But what?”

“Nothing. Are you guys flying in early for practice?”

“We’re talking to her about that now, we know we need a few weeks at least. She said she didn’t mind flying back here but I’m not sure.”

“Of course she wouldn’t mind. Thanks.”

I hung up and sat there a moment. Of course she didn’t fucking mind going back to California it’s what she was fucking good at. The guys came back and went back to practice, about three I volunteered to get lunch or early dinner, which ever they wanted to call it. Because I wanted to walk off some of the nervous energy I went to Mexicali’s. I wasn’t afraid to walk that block alone, I even had my phone incase. I stopped at the end of the street to wait for the light.

“No security team? From what Simon said they never left you alone.”

I really didn’t want to turn but I did some, he was standing behind me about three feet away. He was wearing all black, leather pants and a black t-shirt, his dark hair was styled the same and those eyes. I could even tell his nails were painted black, long nails that I remembered well.

“I don’t need a security team.”

I tried to sound as confident as I could in that statement, but even I detected the shakiness in my voice. I fought to steady myself as he got closer and I felt those nails along my arm.

“You can tell me you aren’t afraid all you want, but I know you are. You always have been.”

“Not true.”

One of the nails slide across my arm in just the right place to remind me of how much they’d hurt before and that was all it took. I no longer cared about lunch or how I was seen, what I wanted was to be right with Zac. I ran left up the sidewalk, nearly passing the back alley and I knew he’d follow me, I reached the studio door in record time and knowing it was locked I just started beating on the door. He was coming up the alley.

“Zac! Open the door.” I screamed.

I tried yanking on the handle, anything to get their attention. I knew they were there because I could hear the drums. He was getting closer and I was afraid he may hurt me if he caught up, I couldn’t just keep waiting. When the dip occurred I screamed for him to open the door and I hit it as hard as I could. The music died down and Damien was ten feet away when it opened.

Zac’s the one that opened the door and I couldn’t get past him to get inside but he was there/.

“It’s okay, what is wrong? Why are you back here?”

“She’s back here because of me.” He said.

Zac turned a little confused but then he moved me behind him and that was perfectly fine with me, I didn’t want to be where he could reach me.

“And you are?”

“Damien Hendricks.”

“Go on inside Gabriella.”

I didn’t argue but Taylor and Isaac went outside and Taylor left the door open just a hair. I just moved away, tried to steady the shaking. It didn’t take them long before they were back inside and Zac was kneeling in front of me.

“He’s gone. Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you sure? You are shaking and you look pale.”

“I just didn’t expect him, I don’t know if he scratched my arm or arm.”

He checked, no scratch marks which was a good thing. Zac stayed with me while Isaac and Taylor went to pick up our order.

“You’ve been kind of nervous since we got the call. Did he keep texting or anything?”

“No. Carrick is having Sierra join them and I don’t know how to…and then he just showed up.”

“I think you need to speak to Sierra, you two cannot be hostile and have so much tension. I know you don’t want to talk to her and you don’t want to deal with her but that’s not the right way to handle it. She obviously cares about you Gabby, she still asks me how you’re doing. She wouldn’t do that if she didn’t care.”

“Carrick said she was going to California. She obviously doesn’t care that much.”

He moved my hair. “They’re coming here Gabby.”

“What do you mean?”

“They’re going to practice here, we’re going to keep on for another two weeks and then let them have the studio for the afternoons, we’ll be doing practice early and them late. She’s not going to California.”

Fuck, it would mean I’d be around her much sooner than September, more like in two weeks.

“I don’t know if I can handle that.”

“I’ll talk to her, see if we can come to some agreement between you two. Now, what about Damien? I’ve not seen you this scared of someone.”

“He’s actually always kind of made me nervous and scared, just the way he carries himself and those fucking nails.”

“Has he hurt you before?”

“When Simon agreed he did, they hurt quite a bit and he actually drew blood on my sides, not that Simon cared.”

“Well, I told him to leave you the hell alone that you weren’t going with him or Simon or anyone else.”

“I don’t plan to anyway.”

“You aren’t and that is just plain and simple. I’ll walk with you for the next few weeks anyway, just to make sure or Carrick and Austin can. I am sure they won’t mind.”

“If you explain to them why, they won’t.”

“I know you don’t want to speak to Sierra, but Gabby we can’t have you and her arguing for months on the bus.”

It was nice that I could ignore her but he was right, she wouldn’t let me ignore her if we’re on a 72 foot bus, but I really didn’t want to face her. Yet, I had like two weeks before she would be here in the studio as well, so I really didn’t have a choice.

“Suggestions? I can’t be there alone with her, we won’t solve anything.”

“I’ll invite her over Saturday and we’ll see what we can do. I’ll tell her that she has to listen too because it’s not fair for her to keep telling you to change when she has no clue on why you changed in the first place. She also doesn’t know about the baby, does she?”

“No. I never told her.”

“I’ll check with her, see if she can meet us sometime this weekend. I know we’re busy the next several.”

“Okay.”

“Do I need to inform the detectives about Damien?”

“Probably won’t hurt for them to know at least.”

He kissed my forehead and while we waited on them, he called and reported what happen. There was still no threat attached, Damien had never said he was going to take me anywhere or made any physical threats. He just scared me and he always had.

They returned with lunch and we ate and then they went back to playing and I sat down with my e-reader, I didn’t feel like I could draw anything nice so I elected to read instead. Not that I was accomplishing much in Twilight, but I promised Stella I would at least read them. But, I just couldn’t so instead I sat there and listened to the music they were playing.

I’ve been lonely

I’ve been cheated

Been misunderstood

I’ve been washed up

Put down

And told I’m no good

But with you I belong

‘Cause you help me be strong

There’s a change in my life

Since you came along

I really couldn’t deny that since Zac entered my life things have changed. Sure, Max had wanted to help but all he seemed to care about was whether I was clean or not. He didn’t seem to care how I was mentally, but Zac did. He’d been supportive of Dr. Cortez and if she asked him to do anything, he would make sure it was done.

He’d not forced me to do anything, not to draw, not to work, nothing. He really didn’t seem to care if I didn’t do anything at all, but I wanted too. He claimed my drawings could be worth something and they could be sold, but I wasn’t sure they were that good.

He was willing to love me despite my past, willing to defend me against anyone, willing to fight for me. I didn’t need to have him tell me he loves me, he more than proved it on his own. I didn’t need to question my own feelings either, I loved him. He may be the only person that I have truly loved. I couldn’t say I would do anything to stay or that he made me feel as complete and whole as I do now.

I found that sitting here just watching them was good, I even tweeted a picture of them. Even if it was after 8:30 before they called it quits.

“Were you enjoying you’re like…private Hanson show?” Taylor asked.

I smiled. “I was. It’s rare I get to actually hear the songs and I am beginning to even detect when one of you fuck up.”

“When we fuck up?” Zac asked.

“Yeah, but you guys caught them too, so obviously I am improving my knowledge of the Hanson song history.”

“Always a good thing in case a fan asks you the lyrics to Mmmbop.” Taylor said.

“I don’t know the lyrics to anything off Middle of Nowhere, sorry.”

They looked at Zac. “Seriously? You have to teach her.”