Chapter 3: The Talk
POV: Gabby
February 20, 2008
I was presently at the studio waiting on Zac’s mom to pick me up. We were going to lunch together and then just hanging out because they really needed to buckle down and this way he could stay as long as they needed to get what has to be done. Zac and Isaac were here but Taylor was on his way in as well. I asked Isaac to give me a subject for a drawing, I’d given him no limits and rather expected a person but he gave me classic guitars. It really would be something different and something I needed that laptop for too, because I wasn’t very familiar with classic guitars. It’s what I was doing when Taylor came in and dropped a duffle bag beside me.
“So, in repacking my suitcases I came across this one and it’s not mine. It’s got your books and stuff in it.”
“I seriously wondered what I did with it.”
“My theory is when we were dropped off and you were upset with Zac you left one and I grabbed it thinking it was mine.”
“That is totally possible, thanks.”
He nodded. “Mom is almost here too, I passed her.”
“Okay.”
He headed down to the studio and I did a final check on my new e-mail, which really no one had, but there was a new message and when I opened it I just sighed. The e-mail was from Simon and he’d included a picture of me, really nice one that he had taken. Asked if I remembered that day. Sure I did, the day he cut my hair off, it was the last picture I had taken with very long hair. I didn’t bother to reply, but I did save the picture.
“Gabriella?” She asked.
I turned and smiled. “Hey Diana. They’re already in the studio but I don’t think Ike or Zac would mind a distraction for a moment.”
“Not from me. I’m going to run down and say hi and then we can head out.”
“Perfect, gives me time to close this down.”
She smiled and headed down the hallway and I shut things down and put things away. I brought my tablet with me when we left though, because I didn’t know what would happen at the house. Last time she’d caught up on shows and I’d been bored. She chose to do Caz’s just below the studio which was perfect because I loved the food. Lunch was very nice and we kept conversations on current plans for her and Walker.
After lunch was done she headed to the grocery store where she was stocking up, there was a big dinner Saturday because we flew out Sunday. I was going to spend Friday repacking mine and Zac’s suitcases and I didn’t care if I was there alone or not, but I was certain that someone would be there. There wasn’t much talking while we shopped, she was focused on her list of needed items and I didn’t want to cause her to lose focus. Once we were at the house I helped bring everything in and set the bags in the kitchen. I was familiar with where things went now.
“Want to help me prep some stuff?”
“Sure.”
She gathered a bunch of vegetables and got boards and knives and we sat at the table. She washed some things first but most would be washed afterwards. For about fifteen minutes it was quiet as I peeled carrots.
“Zac told me you were adopted when you were six. Did you ever know your parents?”
I paused, not expecting that question now or ever really.
“Shawn and I were taken right after my first birthday, I don’t remember our parents at all.”
“Did you ever want too?”
“Not really, Shawn found them two years ago and he said they barely remembered either of us. They were more worried about the drugs and the parties than us.”
She looked at me and frowned. “That is just, I could never imagine myself not caring about ours. Isaac and Taylor were kind of planned pregnancies, we knew we were trying. Zac was a surprise, completely out of nowhere. Ironically, I was taking birth control then but had a round of antibiotics and got pregnant. Not that we were less happy with him.”
I peeled another carrot. “Zac told me about the miscarriages and the little girl.”
“I figured he would, they were pretty devastated with losing her too. We named her Elizabeth Rose, it was hard.”
“I can’t imagine. Did you consider adoption?”
“We did and we still discuss it. You don’t really talk about anything that occurred in your past. Do you just not feel comfortable with it?”
I finished the last two carrots and then moved to removing the top and bottom.
“I don’t really remember the first few, I was just too young. I remember the Pines, they were on a large area of land and had animals.”
“That sound nice.”
“Not really, Mr. Pines liked to scare me and when he realized that spiders weren’t something I really liked, he exploited that. Tarantulas, he’d throw them in my lap after telling me that they were very dangerous and would kill me, um Zac saw the outcome of that. Mikey put one in my lap and I passed out, head cracked the floor.”
“Oh my, that is not good. Did you have pleasant times there?”
“I don’t remember any, they actually split Shawn and I up and I just didn’t handle that well. I was removed and sent to the Darlings but we were only there a month.”
“Why?”
“Shawn wasn’t really liking my ability to adapt so quickly, but I was adapting because he was there. He had a temper and they sent us back. After my 6 th birthday the Frost adopted us officially, they didn’t foster or want much time they met us and took us home. They changed our names and I remember Shawn not liking that at all.”
“He was a lot older so I can understand. Surely they were better.”
“For a while, yeah. I called Julian Mom a lot she basically is the only one I ever had but I spent more time with Jacob than her because she worked and he stayed home.”
She paused her cutting of the celery and looked at me. “Doesn’t sound like you liked being around him.”
Logically I knew that eventually they’d find out about everything.
“I was happy for a bit but he um…”
She paused and just the soft look on her face, the understanding in her eyes.
“I was eight when he started molesting me, it wasn’t like a instant jump to worse and most of it was just hands, least until after I was fourteen. Julian was often gone and he was there. Shawn knew but he just didn’t believe me. When he left I was 12 and it just, Jacob never was a great dad.”
She was quiet. “I didn’t expect that reason at all but it does explain some things.”
“Zac asked if his dad did anything and he didn’t, Walker had been awesome and it’s nothing against him. It’s me. It’s always me.”
“Honey it’s understandable, I mean look at your male role models. One of them intentionally scared you at a very young age and then this Jacob man. That is not how a father acts, especially not with girls. He should have been protecting you.”
“He didn’t. Never told me anything about life, nothing about just handling guys either. I was fourteen and I thought sex was completely normal at that age. It’s why I asked Max then.”
Her cheeks blushed some, sex was a completely new topic for us. Not something we ever discussed or talked about, yet I would never mention sex with Zac to her because that was her son and she probably didn’t want to know and Zac certainly didn’t want her to know.
“You asked him?”
“Yes. Just before my birthday actually. I think my thought process there was just wanting someone I trusted, someone that wasn’t Jacob or anyone he knew. Max was someone I knew well, someone that I knew had experience in that area and I just asked. I asked for once and it kept happening over two years.”
“Wow, you two must have been serious then.”
I picked up the green beans and began to snap the ends off.
“For me it was, I mean he came to me after that and I thought maybe it was more but it wasn’t. He never saw me as more than a friend and a friend with benefits. It was explosive when he left, there was a big argument and he just walked away. Left me there with Jacob, he’d moved into the rape part of that by then, had been for months when he saw us. Basically told me I didn’t have a reason to reject him anymore.”
“You always have a reason Gabriella.”
“When Max left I went a little crazy. Not really proud of that time period. Newton felt right and he cheated on me and after him it was just whoever.”
Her hands got mine and she smiled. “You were trying to fill the void left behind when Shawn left and Max. At least you acknowledge that it’s not something you want to repeat.”
“No, I definitely don’t want to repeat those times. Simon was probably the worst one, he was very abusive and controlling. I left him in March of last year, went to Max. He was supportive and even got me the job with Hanson and then he just became this jealous person about Zac.”
“Is it possible he still loves you?”
“No. He’s dating my friend Abigail. They both feel like Zac and I are just wrong, like Zac can’t change.”
“According to Taylor and Isaac you changed him quite a bit, at least with his rather open sexual side.”
I blinked at her. “I didn’t think you…”
“His aunt follows their twitter and saw several rather bad tweets. Granted they were, well, I am sure you saw them as well.”
“Yeah, I did. I know which ones you’re referring too.”
Oh god, how embarrassed had Zac been when they brought those up?!
“Anyway, we saw the signs but we were hoping Taylor and Isaac would stop him, same path they took and it was the pregnancy scare with Taylor that seemed to stop them. We were hoping it would Zac too, apparently he just needed to find the right person.”
I felt the rush of heat in my face and she smiled.
“Walker was rather worried as well, we figured the reason was pregnancy but it’s not.”
“We haven’t talked about that and I think we both wanted to wait a while, I think the marriage not only scared the two of you and everyone else, us included. I mean we were freaked out when we got up and realized that it wasn’t a joke. I think he was a little more because it was my idea and I didn’t realize that Vegas chapels were all legit.”
“He never mentioned that.”
“He said that while I suggested it, he went along with it too. I see it as mostly my fault and he sees it more as our fault in a joint sense. Either way we were terrified and he was so afraid of you being upset because you weren’t there.”
She frowned some. “I was very upset, yes. I was upset when he told me he wasn’t asking Priscilla, but when he explained what happened, I understood. I couldn’t blame him and I just assumed that I’d get that chance with the next one. Hearing that he’d gotten married and it was some place in Vegas was upsetting. I know that the two of you can re-do vows or have a formal wedding, but at the time I didn’t know you, I didn’t have a clue what was going on.”
“He was upset that you both were.”
She nodded. “I imagine I was rather harsh on him, I just saw this as a huge mistake. But after speaking to our older two sons and getting their opinions, they said we should see how he is with you. I have to admit that while he pretty much tossed you to the wolves on Christmas, he really did seem happy to be with you. It shows he was serious with purchasing rings.”
“He did a good job with them.”
“I do wish I was there, I do wish that I had those moments. I am aware that there may not be a formal ceremony, but I’m okay with that because I have a wonderful daughter now and one that loves him, one that treats him like he should be treated. I can see it in the actions, behavior, and words you speak to him. I can’t ask for anyone better Gabriella.”
She was going to make me cry, damnit!
“I’ve oddly never had a mother than I really wanted to be around. I just wish I felt the same way around Walker because I feel like I’m just pushing him away.”
“Don’t feel that way Gabby. Zac told him that you hadn’t been around a lot of men that were nice and that didn’t hurt you. He didn’t tell us about Jacob or any specific reason, but we suspected it was probably some form of abuse.”
“I guess my experience with men is pretty crappy. Logically I know he won’t ever hurt me, it’s just getting my brain to accept that.”
“I understand. He does too.”
It grew quiet as we both delved into snapping, peeling, chopping, and storing the items and of course actually fixing the dinner for tonight as well. Walker got home at five and they were so sweet with one another.
“Did Zac ship you off again?” he asked.
“He did. They’ll be there late and he doesn’t want me there alone yet.”
“We don’t mind having you here with us.”
I smiled. “I sure hope not.”
We were both sitting at the table and Diana was washing up the few pans she had dirty, she often washed as she went.
“I’m not afraid of you.”
It was random but he looked surprised. “I would hope not.”
“Walker, honey I mentioned something to Isaac.” She said.
“Oh… I didn’t think you were afraid of me. Have I scared you?”
“No. I just don’t have very good father role models.”
I took a moment to fill him in as well, leaving out my part with Max and focusing more on the relationships with the father’s that I had. I was quite shocked that he got mad at how they acted and how they treated me as not even a daughter but a human.
“You don’t ever have to worry about that. I don’t believe in hitting women and I taught all of my boys the same thing. I have no problem spanking their asses now for doing some stupid shit like that. It’s a shame that so many foster parents are just bad.”
“Ironically, Zac has never even given me the impression that he would ever do that.”
In fact, his use of the flogger was so light that I didn’t even have marks afterwards, Newton had left marks that lasted for hours but I was fine with that in some cases, but I knew that Walker’s term for abuse was exactly what Simon had done. I still would never mention what we do to his parents though, I didn’t see the flogger as abuse but they may not understand that.
“Zac was taught not too, something every boy should be taught.” Diana said.
“I do understand your feeling toward father type figures. Just know that I’m not them and I never will be. I respect women because my parents taught me too, all those things they did were uncalled for, unnecessary and in most cases just wrong. It’s good that he’s in jail and can’t hurt anyone else, but he should have gone before they ever got you. You are just too awesome for those assholes.”
I felt the slight blush that time. I seriously wasn’t use to this being called awesome and shit!
“I never really felt that way, most the time I felt like I was where I needed to be or where I was supposed to be.”
“Do you feel you are suppose to be with Zac?” he asked.
I took a moment to think about that. “Yeah, I do. We’ve brought about changes in each other that are positive. I wouldn’t have drawn anything for Shawn without him and I am sure you know the change he made.”
“Yes. I am aware that he’s given up the hook ups. I seriously wish we had planned for that better, we didn’t expect Isaac to be that way and then Taylor followed. We hoped Zac wouldn’t but I guess after Priscilla we should have expected it. He loved her very much and she just didn’t.”
“I’ve met her a few times, saw that after Vegas kiss, which was mostly her because she knew we were together. I’m just glad she hasn’t tried anything since. She may during the tour as that’s where I saw her.”
“She seemed like the perfect girl but she wasn’t, I’m just glad that Zachary caught her before asking and definitely before the wedding.” Diana said.
“I agree there.” Walker said.
I didn’t mention more and let the conversation die out to just talk of the dinner Saturday. The three of us ate about 6 but she left everything out knowing Zac would be starving when he arrived. We then settled in for a movie, something I’d wanted to watch so it was nice. Zac showed up at 9:45, they were getting ready for bed and I was getting tired. He fixed a plate because he was starving though, I then put everything up. They went to bed about 10:15.
“Get anything done?”
“A lot, but we’ll be there long hours tomorrow too, I’m due in at 7.”
“Why don’t we just stay here? We can bounce by the house to change in the morning.”
“But then I can’t be all sexy here.”
I kissed him. “You won’t be at home either, baby it’s late and you’re talking less than eight hours.”
He frowned and I kissed him, let him finish dinner and we did take the guest bedroom here. He was comfortable in just his underwear but I stuck to leaving my shirt on and after some mild nagging I lost the pants, but while he considered frisky, he was asleep just minutes after laying down and I wasn’t far behind.