Chapter 37: Your Talent

POV: Gabby

December 23, 2007

Zac had seen the portfolio that Shawn had brought over, he’d seen me move it the other night. I could tell he wanted to ask and he wanted to see what was inside, but he hadn’t asked. I’d woken up rather early and left him stretched out asleep in the bed, he’d stayed up super late playing a game and I’d gone to bed early. I fixed myself a quick breakfast and checked my phone, nothing major but Stella said her sister was looking forward to the Christmas gathering and I sighed. Zac had picked out a perfect outfit, blue jeans that weren’t super tight, a maroon shirt that came down low enough and covered well, it was also a sleeved shirt. He said the house was usually pretty warm. He even got a plain black belt to go with it, it was adult without being slutty.

Yet, meeting all these people who had no idea who I was nerve wracking at best, added some didn’t even know we were married! I’d never much cared about how people saw me but for some reason I was very worried about how they would view me and Max’s words weren’t helping. I couldn’t believe someone I thought cared about me as a friend, would be so mean. After breakfast was done I cleaned a bit and then sat down with the portfolio and just reviewed what I’d done years ago. About 10 the phone beeped, Abigail’s tone.

Are you up?

Yes. Was looking at the things I drew. What’s up?

I didn’t get to speak to you the other day, not much before Max kind of took over. I guess… I mean…did you really stay married?

Yes. I even considered the option for days before I made the decision to see if this would work. Why would you think I lied?

Well…Max said the only reason you’d really stay was you’re pregnant. Are you?

Nope. I chose to stay because I wanted too. He’s treated me with respect and kindness and come on, he lived at the hospital the whole time I was there. Does it mean that we’ll last? No. We’re both learning about each other still and seeing if we CAN. And yes, I am acutely aware of his background.

And you did really change your name?

Yes. I’m legally Mrs. Hanson. If you’re asking this for Max then you need to stop.

I’m not asking for him, I’m asking because he keeps telling me all these reasons like being pregnant, or he’s got something on you, or he’s threatened you, etc. Max doesn’t believe you are there solely because you want to be.

I am where I want to be. Stella promised me her couch for as long as I could possibly need it but this is where I wanted to go. Zac asked, said he wanted me here but that he’d respect whatever decision I made. He didn’t even know my decision until I came here that afternoon and showed him my new license.

Seriously?

Yes. I wanted to be sure that it was *my* decision and not anyone else’s. IDK why Max is so…hell, idk what he is! Jealous? Bitter? Delusional? He should be glad, I mean he seemed to bitch because he ‘supported’ me for so long. He doesn’t have to do that now. He isn’t responsible for me.

He just seems worried that Zac will be worse than the others Gabs, I don’t think he’s jealous or bitter. He’s not delusional…

Abby…he basically called me a whore because I *asked* him to be my first. I asked for ONE time, just someone I trusted. Yet I’m a whore? He seems dead set that I am some whore. I’m not.

I know. Just…give him time to get use to this? Maybe he didn’t anticipate you and Zac ever being together let along married. I mean, damn I’m still shocked!

Well, believe me wasn’t like we made the decision to do it but we both made the decision to remain married. We either make it or we don’t. But, I really don’t need you and Max bitching about it every single time we’re in the same room.

I know and I’m sorry. I’m just…I wish things were different I guess and I don’t know… I feel like you staying was a mistake but at the same time you seem happy so it’s just…confusing. I guess I need to take a step back and see where it goes too. I also wanted to apologize for not telling you about Max and I.

Don’t worry about it, I can’t bitch at him because well, apparently we were never together. Hope you two are good together.

Maybe, I’m not sure yet either. Doing much today?

Going to try to draw something, not sure what though. I’ve been staring at a blank canvas for our whole convo..

Well…draw Zac. Pretty sure ANY fan would adore a nude drawing..maybe Titanic style?

Rofl – he would *never* let it see the light of day.

*sigh* I know. I’ll let you go though and let you work on it. Going to shower and finish up wrapping.

Ok. Tty tomorrow.

See you then :- )

I laid the phone down and looked at the blank canvas, she really had a good idea. I remembered when he unpacked the things the view I had…with that I sat back with a few of the pencils and kind of let my mind wonder. Just visualize the lines of his body, the defined muscles of his back, the dips and curves. There was a particularly nice one where he was asleep on his stomach last week. Everything seemed to vanish but the pen and the paper, I rarely knew what I was going to truly end up with until I was finished. I felt the warm air circle my neck before the gasp and that drew me out of my trance.

“Uh..if this is what you’re working on for Shawn, I’m sorry he’s not getting that.”

I looked down and found the nude Zac, back only and definitely ass, covered barely in a sheet that was draped over his legs.

“It wasn’t for him, just seeing if I could.”

“Well, let me tell you…you can. That is…wow…any plans for a another Zac drawing?”

I tilted my head back and he looked down at me, smiled. “I could always pose you titanic style and draw you.”

“Would you draw me like those French men?”

“Fuck no, sex god maybe.”

“Sex god huh? Damn, I already have a big enough ego Gabs, don’t make it worse.”

“You think it’s good?”

He kissed me and I wanted to melt. “I think it’s good enough that if it weren’t MY ass showing I’d totally share that on twitter.”

“With the world?”

“Yep. Am I own my own for lunch?”

“If you’re cooking I’ll take something too. I just kind of did cereal.”

“Okay.”

He went to the kitchen and I finished out the last few details I wanted to add before signing the bottom, my first Gabriella Hanson original. I examined the artwork before me the soft lines and shading was just like I never even stopped. I expected something much worse or at least not near as good as what I had produced years ago.

“I may have to do a frontal to match the rearview…” I mused.

“Only if they never, ever, ever get seen by anyone but you and I.”

I giggled. “Oh come on! Fans would love that.”

He turned from the stove. “No.”

I pouted and he didn’t waver, just a firm head shake. “Fine.”

I closed it and laid the tablet down on the table, joined him in the kitchen. He was fixing grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup and when done we sat and ate. He considered playing more games but instead just sat down near me and eyed the portfolio on the table.

I giggled. “You really want to see what’s inside don’t you?”

“Maybe…just a lot.”

I slid the case to him and he smiled and got it. It had been driving him crazy and he was careful opening it, could tell the fellow drawer in him just appreciated so much the choices that Shawn made in the pencils, colored pencils, pens, and everything.

“He chose the items very well, he clearly put thought into it.”

“He knows what I liked back then, didn’t change really.”

He held up the one I’d done earlier. “How come you ever stopped?”

“I drew for Shawn most the time, it was an outlet that worked. Abby never liked it and kept telling me it was stupid or for men or impractical for girls. Shawn would tell me they were great, that I needed color or not. Even his criticism was nicely put. I valued his opinion more but when he left I couldn’t really…I guess I didn’t understand how he could hate me, how he could just leave. The first week the quality dropped a lot, they were darker and much more depressing. Abby saw a few and basically said they were complete shit so I ended up tearing them up and throwing them away.”

“Understandable, I usually don’t do people, just cartoony things. More fun and abstract.”

“Nothing wrong with that, I think I started with flowers or something, simple stuff. People were harder but Shawn was so encouraging that when I started he kept at it.”

“You have talent Gabriella, you shouldn’t listen to Abby on this matter at all. This is very good.”

“There are more in there, he copied some because he kept the originals.”

He started going through the others and he paused at the first colored one.

“This is yours?”

“Yeah, I was ten I think. Why?”

“No particular reason just…it’s remarkable. The detail of the colors in the tiger and the tree are just fantastic.”

“I think it was the fourth or fifth color one I did.”

He shifted through the remaining pages, inspecting each page carefully before moving on to the next one. When he laid the portfolio down he smiled at me.

“You chose to be a roadie over this?”

“Yeah, I followed Max pretty much. By the time I reached a point where career was there I was just to a point where I didn’t care. He left and well, it was easy to chose. Easy to do. Not a lot of thought involved in unloading and loading a trailer or even grabbing lunch.”

“But you know this could be a far better career for you.”

I shrugged. “Never thought anyone would care.”

He slid over beside me and moved my head so I was looking at him.

“I care Gabriella. You are far more talented at drawing and I am betting if you have the right tools and practice you’d be awesome with computer generated images too. This could be so much better for you in the long run. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life catering to everyone else?”

“It’s all I know how to do Zac. Wait on spoiled rock stars who sleep late.”

“But is that what you want to be doing ten years from now? Even five?”

“Never thought about it, never cared really.”

“Think about it then, roadie work is fine for most but you have a real talent here Gabriella. You should use it and use it well. You can be a well known artist or graphics artist, whatever you want to be. You have the talent and the vision.”

“I can’t even think of anything to draw him. That’s all he wanted, one drawing. I don’t have a single idea.”

“Well, what do you know about Shawn?”

“Not much at all, because really he’s changed.”

“Was there anything he ever asked you for that you didn’t give him?”

“Drawing wise?” I asked.

“Yes. Anything he asked for and you either couldn’t at the time or didn’t want too?”

I had to think about that really, there probably was but remembering them was going to be tough. I tried to forget or bury those memories. Yet, sometime after the ten minute mark I began to remember a conversation we had right before he left, about a month before.

“Ella, all you ever draw is black and white.”

“So? It’s what I like. Simple clean lines.”

“Draw something vibrant for once. You are phenomenal with color yet you rarely use it.”

I looked at him across the room. “Color? You should know better Shawn.”

“Come on that tiger and tree for my fourteenth, phenomenal. One of these days I’m going to make that a tattoo. Wait and see.”

“I thought you wanted a dragon tattoo?” I asked, sarcasm dripping from the tone.

He smiled. “You won’t draw me one. Black and White dragons are no fun, they need vibrant colors to make them stand out and pop.”

“I drew a dragon last year, you didn’t like it.”

“I never said I didn’t like it Ella, I said you needed to improve on the placement and scales. It was a great drawing, just inconsistent with real ones.”

“You are impossible!”

“I am not. You draw me a red Dragon, I’ll put it on my chest.”

I laughed, thinking he was insane.

“He wanted a red dragon, something vibrant and consistent with real ones. I have only drawn one of those and it sucked. He promised to tattoo it on him too, nothing I have is worth that.”

He opened the portfolio and went to the tiger and tree one. “He has this one on his back, he showed it to me that first conversation, but don’t tell him I told you.”

I blinked. He’d gotten that one on his body? I had no idea he had and if he was serious then perhaps that was my subject to draw.

“I don’t know much about dragons.”

He smiled at me and got up and came back with a several movies Dragon Heart and Reign of Fire.

“It’s called research baby, I got all afternoon.”

He put in Dragon Heart first and we spent the afternoon watching dragon movies and him showing me dozens of photos, images, and references online. He cooked dinner, some weird casserole and I sat there and drew, erasing multiples times and adjusting lines. When he could he would come stand beside me.

“Be a bit more careful here, the scales are all the same size unless it’s around the neck or tail areas. Be careful with the proportions too, that back foot looks a tiny bit small. You’re doing great Gabby.”

He kissed my cheek and then went back to stir the green beans. I continued to draw until dinner was ready, then stopped. We sat at the counter and had dinner.

“Are you still nervous about going to mom and dad’s?”

“I am. I’m afraid they’re going to just hate me.”

“They won’t hate you Gabs. They’re going to love you.”

I looked at him skeptical. “Really? They were super disappointed and mad that they weren’t even there. They don’t know me and I basically am the reason you are married.”

“No you’re not.”

“If I recall correctly I am the one that told you it was a good idea and it would be fun.”

“And I recall agreeing with you. Gabriella this is our fault not just yours. I made the choice not to tell them. They will love you I am sure. Besides, Mom’s always wanted a daughter.”

“How come they didn’t have more after you?”

“They tried but she miscarried twice after me. They didn’t want to keep losing babies so they stopped trying. She got pregnant again when I was fourteen, stillborn little girl. Broke their hearts to pieces and she opted to prevent anymore. She just really wanted a girl and it broke her heart and we knew it did.”

“I can’t imagine going through that.”

“It was hard for us all.”

I kissed him. “Are you sure they won’t hate me?”

“I am sure. They called Taylor and Isaac in after I left, just wanted to talk and see what their thoughts were on you and I. Since they did know beforehand and they got fussed at for that too. But, Isaac said that they seemed to really calm down once they talked with them.”

“I’m still nervous.”

“I’ll be there and you’ll be fine.”

“So…are we opening everything there?”

“No. You and I will exchange here and then head there.”

“Good, I’d hate for them to hate me more.”

“Should I be afraid?”

“Maybe.”

He leaned over and kind of nuzzled my neck. “What did you get me?”

“It’s no fun if I tell you, besides you won’t tell me!”

I felt his tongue run up my neck. “I’ll do one now if you tell me.”

“You keep on I’ll be violating the doctor’s orders! So mean to me.”

He pouted at me but I didn’t give in. Instead he cleaned up the kitchen and pouted and I tried to get the dragon right, tried to get the size and scale right. When he was done he got his tablet and sat down with me, spending several hours sitting there in our own worlds, but he would answer questions. When the lines blurred I put it away. I knew when to stop forcing things. He was still sitting on the stool concentrated on the drawing he was working on. I went to the bathroom and got ready for bed, taking the medication, brushing my teeth and then went back. I know he slept later but I missed him being there beside me. I laid my head against his back, the warm strong feeling against my cheek. Which had thankfully not marked much and the redness had gone away already.

I felt him turn some. “Comfortable there?”

“Maybe, although I would be more comfortable laying down.”

“You can lay down anytime you want too.”

I slide my hands up and around his waist, locking them in front of him and he laid the pencil down. I mentally smiled, let my hands remain there as he put away the pencils and closed the tablet, I loosened a bit when he turned.

“Why do I get the feeling that you don’t quite want to lay down alone?”

“Not really.”

He kissed my forehead. “Let me get ready for bed. You’re turning me into an early person this is not cool.”

I smiled. “You’ll live!”

I did let him get up and get ready, I waited sitting on the bed. He checked and changed the bandages for me and then we laid down. I curled up beside him, using his upper arm for a pillow.

“You seem to really like this whole cuddling thing.”

“No one ever really wanted too and you’re so willing.”

“I’d much prefer that you be naked though.”

I sighed. “Of course. But you don’t mind with clothes either, not even the footie pajamas.”

“Those things are evil, plain and simple.”

“You don’t mind this do you?”

“No Gabriella I don’t. I’m perfectly fine with this. I’d much rather it be naked, but I know that’s way too tempting.”

“Very. You are doing very good.”

“He better clear you in January.”

He adjusted to be on his side which was nice too and he kissed me.

“Until then…”

Okay, I might have known that he’d want to do a little making out if I lured him into the bed, but it wasn’t just that closeness either. I really did like the way he held me, the way he was so careful not to even cause a twinge of pain, despite his hands being on my ass pulling me closer. I had no real idea when sleep came, just know it did.