Chapter 15: The first…

POV: Gabby

October 9, 2007

I had slept so well Saturday night and felt better Sunday. Zac gave me a freebie day saying that I’d really not felt well and he didn’t think I got my full day like I should have. I tried to argue that he got tampons for me but he refused to even acknowledge that trip to the store. So, I just filed it away. Maybe, I’d find a time later on or something. I had cleaned the bus yesterday though and in cleaning his I found the same box of condoms I’d bought and none were used, it made me question if the rumors were really true. Yet, Carrick, Taylor and Maxwell had been very adamant he did not do steady, he did one nighters with whoever. He did seem frustrated and I was sure that being on the bus surrounded by men couldn’t be great for self-pleasuring purposes.

I felt like I had said too much Friday, I mean I mentioned that one foster father and Simon who had not given up at all, but he had slowed a bit, I wasn’t getting message every moment but I was getting several a day, usually dick pictures. Apparently he had my green thongs with him, and had used them. I made a note to stop wearing green. We were in North Carolina now and the venue itself was just suffocating. It was so hot that when the technician had me play I found I was dripping sweat and even during the walk, it was still hot but not bad. Zac had walked near me the last two and again this one, it was feeling weird.

He’d even gone running with me yesterday! He’d never done that! I think Taylor and Isaac fainted when he said he was going with me, thankfully the fans missed us. Today he didn’t go because I didn’t, but walking close to me was weird too. Once the sound check was completed we sat down for dinner.

“So, Gabby what are you doing next week?” Austin asked.

“Sleeping? Like, the whole damn week. What about you?”

“The same! Just sleep, that is all!”

“Carrick?” I asked.

“Visiting the girlfriend and just recouping a bit.”

“Zac? Any plans?”

“Binge video games and sleep sounds about right to me.”

Taylor was spending time with Stella and trying to get his car in the garage and Isaac was going to be resting and spending time with his girlfriend as well. After dinner we set up and I went to the merchandise booth, but Zac must have followed me.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

He handed me the cash bag. “Bringing you the change money. What? Did you think I’d make some sly move here in the open?”

I looked at him. “In fact I do.”

He feigned being offended. “I would never. Outside in the rain or maybe a park slide, then I might.”

“Park slide? That’s driving you insane isn’t it? You really want to ask me about that, but you just won’t.”

“Oh, there’s a lot of questions I want to ask. I’m sure positive you won’t answer them.”

“Questions like?”

Sure, I was curious but I was also certain I wouldn’t be answering them. Yet he just smiled at me and walked away, he knew I wouldn’t answer them! I was however glad he brought the change bag, I might need that. I finished the minor changes and was ready when they opened the doors. I hadn’t even needed to do this last show, it was nice. The time before the show was always the worst, because most were getting merchandise and all before the main event, whereas during and after was less. Simon wasn’t laying off but I had his name muted, so I didn’t hear it just felt the vibrations. The show began at 9:05, they were always late! I was tidying up when a tall blonde woman walked up, she had blue eyes and a nice body. The makeup was minimal and she looked pretty. She’d worn black leggings, that showed she wore thongs too and a grey Everybody Else shirt.

“Hi, what can I get you?”

“Can you handle the openers stuff too?”

“I can.”

“The black shirt and the program.”

I got them for her and she paid cash for them.

“So, are you the current flavor of the month?”

“I beg your pardon? What are you talking about?”

“Zac’s flavor of the month...”

She acted like I should know exactly what she meant, which I didn’t. But then her explanation made sense.

“I think you are confused. I’m not his flavor of the month.”

“Yeah, I was wondering why he’d go for someone like you anyway, I mean you’re a brunette pretty plain Jane.”

“Who are you?”

“Oh my manners. I’m Priscilla, his ex-girlfriend.”

“The one that couldn’t deal with the schedule or the one that needed two men?”

“I wouldn’t have needed two if he wasn’t such as asshole anyway. I know all about his little escapade since we broke up, I’m pretty sure they were occurring beforehand.”

“Yet you’re here.”

“I came for Carrick actually, guys pretty hot. Recon he’ll hook up with me?”

“Probably not, I hear he has a girlfriend.”

“Aww, are you fucking them all too? I mean, I saw him run with you yesterday and then he walked with you both days, Zac doesn’t hang around women he’s not fucking.”

“You make him sound like he’s incapable of having any emotions.”

She was rather pissing me off, he’d shown that he has emotions. Sure he was a complete fucking asshole and an arrogant prick but he’d come and gotten me from Newt’s, he hadn’t even asked me what was wrong, didn’t push anything. He’d cared last Saturday when I was hurting and here she was telling me he was basically an emotionless asshole?

“Please, the only thing he ever wanted with me was the sex. Which I refused, fuck that I wasn’t risking him leaving me high and dry with a baby. Careless jackass, he just wanted to be fucked and that was it. He didn’t even seemed to be hurt when he caught me with someone else, just said it was over and left. He saw me yesterday and today and he didn’t even say anything.”

I tightened my hand around the pen in my hand, my nails slightly nipped my palm. Why was I taking offense to this?

“Clearly he didn’t need to say anything else. Is there anything else you want? If not, perhaps it’s time you return to the show.”

She just laughed. “Yeah, flavor of the month. Don’t count on anything fantastic.”

She got her items and walked away, I was rather shocked that it was Austin that came up.

“Should I be alarmed? You’re gripping that poor pen like it hurt you.”

“No.”

He stepped back, perhaps I’d added more emphasis in there than I had intended. Yet, she must have heard Austin talk because she came back! Thankfully to talk to him, yet I noticed he kept his distance from her. His sentences were short, curt, and before long she must have realized it and left.

“Didn’t like her?” I asked.

“She’s a bitch for the way she did him.”

“You knew who she was?”

“Oh yeah, we all know who she is. I’d elaborate but I need to be nice.”

“Gonna assume her assessment of how things ended are wrong?”

He got a little closer. “He really thought she loved him, stated she wanted to wait and he was really fine with that and he and Taylor had gone to look for rings, he had one picked out and down payment was done and then he caught her that night. Wanted to surprise her that they were home. I blame her for how he acts now. He loved Crystal too, but they broke up on mutual terms. That blood sucking bitch though..”

“He was going to ask her to marry him?”

He nodded. “Yeah, Taylor said he canceled the ring order on his birthday.”

“Wait…this was near his birthday?”

“A few days before actually.”

“Let me guess, after that he became the man whore he is today?”

He laughed. “Pretty much.”

“Makes sense really.”

He flopped down and changed the subject, which was good. The remainder of the show went well but god I was glad they were showering after the show, but I’d seen Zac before he showered and kind of wished I hadn’t. We broke down and then showered ourselves which was nice, they were still greeting fans outside when I headed to the bus, I loaded my bag and then stepped out to just have fresh air and to stretch some. I was still mildly cramping and movement had helped.

I was just standing there by the bus when someone’s arms came around me, picking me up and spinning me around. It scared me and I screamed, no one should be doing that.

“What the fuck?” I asked.

“Hey Baby, I thought since you won’t answer my messages I’d just visit.”

I barely had time to comprehend the voice as Simon’s, before someone else was in front of me.

“Who are you and what are you doing?”

That was Zac and I blinked a few times, where had he come from? He had been on the other end of the bus.

“I am Simon, her boyfriend and you are?”

“Her boss actually, she’s working for us. She hasn’t mentioned you visiting.”

“I surprised her.”

“Clearly.”

I laid my hand on Zac’s shoulder and he turned. “It’s ok. Tend to your fans so we can go.”

I could see that he was worried but he did slowly walk back to the fans, yet he didn’t go quite as far away as he had been before. I turned to Simon.

“What are you doing here Simon?”

“You stopped replying and you don’t send me anything, you use to send me cute little sexy pictures of you.”

“You don’t need them; you have the blonde bitches you prefer.”

“I don’t prefer them, I prefer you.”

“Really? So you think when you’re horny it’s ok to ignore your girlfriend and find them? I wasn’t aware that as your girlfriend we weren’t allowed to have sex.”

“Come on Gabs, you can ride with us to the next venue we are right behind them. I’m sure they won’t mind.”

“Why? So you can lie to me some more?”

He went to kiss me and I pulled away, became suddenly aware of what he wanted. It wasn’t he wanted to talk or he wanted to work on problems, what he wanted was sex.

“I’m not going with you because you’re horny Simon. I’m not going period. You can leave now.”

“Come on.”

“No.” I said.

His features darkened and I went to step away, knew that look very well. Yet he still had enough time to grab my arm which hurt and he yanked me to him.

“I don’t think I gave you a choice. You can ignore me all you want but I know for a fact you’re being a little whore for them all, one night won’t kill them.” His voice was low so I was sure Zac hadn’t heard him.

“I’m not going with you, now let me go.”

His grip tightened on my arm and he just started moving, I wasn’t being given a choice and that was pretty common for Simon. I tried to stop but he was stronger than me. I think I was more relieved to see Zac step in front of me than I had been to see Maxwell that night.

“Is everything okay?”

“We’re fine, she’s coming with me.” Simon said.

“I’m sorry but she’s not. She’s contracted to finish this tour with us and we’re responsible for her. I know you aren’t her boyfriend and I can tell by her face that she doesn’t want to go with you. So you can let her arm go or I can call the police and they can make you let her go.”

Simon seemed very pissed but I know on his bus there would be drugs and the police being involved was the last thing he would want. So he let my arm go and stalked across the street to the waiting bus. I hadn’t even noticed they were playing there!

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I mean…my arm hurts but I’m okay.”

I really didn’t expect him to really check, but he was. I was very much aware that fans were taking pictures, I could see the flashes. His fingers were gentle on my skin though, such a light touch.

“You will probably have a mark. Why don’t you get on the bus and just wait there? We’re almost done.”

I nodded and got on the bus, I waited in the front until they got on and there was a bruise there and Isaac asked, but he accepted the reason I gave and moved on. I didn’t want to tell them I was certain he wouldn’t take me to the next venue, that I was certain that I’d probably end up in the hospital. Zac, however lingered right beside me and I couldn’t get up from the table.

Yet, I was finding his presence kind of comforting. I felt safe. When my phone beeped it was Zac, what the hell. The pink thong picture I’d sent him, but the message asked if he could get an updated one. I appreciated the humor, he was trying but I just wasn’t in the mood.

I looked at him kind of smiling at me. “I think I want to go to bed but I can’t because you’re there.”

“Sure you’re ok?”

“Yeah.”

He let me up and I went to bed. Slept for like three hours and Simon woke me up with a fucking video of him jacking off with my green thongs and another picture. I went to the back of the bus after being woken up, I needed to reply but I had no idea what to even say. I sat down in the corner and it was quiet but then Zac crept in, when he turned around he looked a bit stunned to see me sitting here.

“I thought you were in bed…”

“I got woken up and why did you lock the door?”

“No reason…”

Yet he looked mildly disappointed and frustrated and I giggled. “You know if you really want privacy I can go somewhere else on the bus.”

His face blushed. “I just wanted privacy to think.”

“I don’t believe that.”

Yet, he didn’t unlock the door and he just kind of fell on the other end of the sofa. All he had on was a t-shirt and boxers, but it was clear to me that what he came here for was privacy to do more. He just didn’t want to admit that to me. I just stared at the screen, the picture I remembered well. It was right after he told me I had no right to say no to him, because I hadn’t said no to Newt or the guys between Newt and him. I hadn’t been given a choice then either and pictures existed because he hadn’t chosen to do that in private either. No, he’d chosen the back room of a tour bus where the remainder of the crew just encouraged him.

I needed some answer that would really make him see that I was over him. I didn’t even realize Zac had moved, let along that he was close enough to me to take the phone from my hand. Yet, when I turned he was right there inches away and I couldn’t even stop him. His lips tasted like sugar, soft and sweet. Simon slipped from my mind quickly. Yet he pulled away from me and had this embarrassed smile.

“I’m sorry I just…I couldn’t stop myself.”

“It’s ok…But I…”

“I know, you don’t want anything else.”

That really wasn’t the truth right this moment, what I wanted more was those lips on mine and I think I really did shock him when I leaned in. I pulled away when I realized where it would end, I was certain if he’d come in with problems that I wasn’t helping, and I was putting this on a feeling of wanting to feel safe. I mumbled about bed and quickly went back to my own bunk because fuck I did want more.

I was barely laid down when Simon sent another picture, same night.

I’m not coming back Simon. Please, just stop.

You’ll come back. You know you will. Pretty boy might be fucking you every night but he can’t be there every single day Gabriella. Maxwell cannot be there every day. Abigail cannot be there every day. I only need one.

I swallowed and I knew for a fact that Maxwell was out of town and Abigail was leaving Tuesday morning for the remainder of the week too. I’d be at home. Alone. But I quickly checked and they would be in California the whole week.

Part of me really wanted to get down in Zac’s bunk and wait because damn did I want more. But, at the same time I wanted more with someone who would stay and not leave. That wasn’t Zac.